In love with 2 women

[Coup La-La]

I'm in love with 2 women. both of them think that they are my girlfriend and neither of them knows about each other. I was dating one first but when I met the other I couldn't help myself, not only is she very pretty but she's the kind of girl I could have never had when I was younger. I don't know what to do now because I couldn't imagine being without either of them. There is something satisfying about having sex with 2 different women in the same day.

[Treasa]

I hope it's equally satisfying when you slip up or one of them gets nosy, and they dump you on the same day.

 

You're going to do what you want to do, so...whatever.

[MichiganMan222]

This is actually an illusion. It's not that you can't live without either one. It's more that you can't stand the thought of another man with either of them. It's an ego thing. I'm guessing if one of them confessed to you than they were a lesbian, you'd be OK with it and your problem would be solved.

[Charlie Harper]

LEt me guess one is super hot, and the other is super nice and fun to be with....

 

Been there done that !

 

It means you are selfish, immature (even if you are 80), and you are a grown up boy, not a man.

 

Choose one and grow a pair, or don't lie to both, if you are a catch they maybe stay with you, but I guess they won't. (that is why you havent told them about it!)

 

my 2 cents

 

P.D. it wont end well if they find out!

[Coup La-La]

This is actually an illusion. It's not that you can't live without either one. It's more that you can't stand the thought of another man with either of them. It's an ego thing. I'm guessing if one of them confessed to you than they were a lesbian, you'd be OK with it and your problem would be solved.

 

No I've been there before, and that's part of the reason why I am in this situation. Before now I have never cheated on a woman, after my GF of 6 years came home and told me that not only is she Lesbian but she had been having a whole other relationship behind my back I have become a far more jaded and cynical .

[BetheButterfly]

I'm in love with 2 women. both of them think that they are my girlfriend and neither of them knows about each other. I was dating one first but when I met the other I couldn't help myself, not only is she very pretty but she's the kind of girl I could have never had when I was younger. I don't know what to do now because I couldn't imagine being without either of them. There is something satisfying about having sex with 2 different women in the same day.

 

 

I think you need to tell the women the truth so they can decide if they are happy about the arrangement or not. It's not fair to them for you to omit the truth. That is really sad.

[BetheButterfly]

And guys wonder why women think we are all dogs. Thanks for making it harder out there for the rest of us guys who actually respect women.

 

Humans are not dogs and dogs are not humans.

 

There are many men who respect women. Not all men are like the OP.

[Coup La-La]

LEt me guess one is super hot, and the other is super nice and fun to be with....

 

Been there done that !

 

It means you are selfish, immature (even if you are 80), and you are a grown up boy, not a man.

 

Choose one and grow a pair, or don't lie to both, if you are a catch they maybe stay with you, but I guess they won't. (that is why you havent told them about it!)

 

my 2 cents

 

P.D. it wont end well if they find out!

 

If you say I'm being selfish then I'm guilty as charged, but believe it or not I'm not being immature. I'm probably gonna marry one of them, most likely the one I met first, but I can't do that until I make peace with the past. In particular peace with all the years I spent single and all the Friday and Saturday nights I spent alone because the women I was interested in weren't willing or able to date outside their race and/or religion.

 

The 2nd woman I am with comes from a very racist family that would disown her if they knew she was having sex with a black guy every night. Which is how I've managed to not get caught, she is even more motivated than I am to keep things secret. in my teens or early 20's she would have never given me the time of day, but now she sends me txt and emails all day telling me how much she loves me. A very big deal for someone that was told repeatedly "no woman will ever go out with you".

[BetheButterfly]

If you say I'm being selfish then I'm guilty as charged,

 

Agreed.

 

but believe it or not I'm not being immature.

There are many people who consider themselves mature who make very selfish decisions.

 

I'm probably gonna marry one of them, most likely the one I met first, but I can't do that until I make peace with the past. In particular peace with all the years I spent single and all the Friday and Saturday nights I spent alone because the women I was interested in weren't willing or able to date outside their race and/or religion.

Before she commits to you, she really needs to know what you are doing with the other woman. The truth is really important.

 

The 2nd woman I am with comes from a very racist family that would disown her if they knew she was having sex with a black guy every night

That is sad.

 

Which is how I've managed to not get caught, she is even more motivated than I am to keep things secret.

She needs to be brave and not hide. Martin Luther King Jr. didn't change the USA by hiding his dream, but rather by boldly proclaiming his dream and by being willing to even endure persecution for his dream.

in my teens or early 20's she would have never given me the time of day, but now she sends me txt and emails all day telling me how much she loves me. A very big deal for someone that was told repeatedly "no woman will ever go out with you".

If you marry the other lady, are you planning on breaking this lady's heart or do you think you will try to continue to keep the lady you want to marry a secret from this lady who says she loves you (which will also break her heart when she finds out)?

[Coup La-La]

That is sad.

 

You're right it is really sad. Not just because it seems that no matter what black people in America do, we will always be considered inferior. But also the fact that her family thinks that they're better than me, even though her grandparents were middle school dropouts and everyone in my family has gone to college...even BEFORE the civil war, yes BEFORE slavery ended.

 

She needs to be brave and not hide. Martin Luther King Jr. didn't change the USA by hiding his dream, but rather by boldly proclaiming his dream and by being willing to even endure persecution for his dream.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. The world only changes when people are brave.

 

If you marry the other lady, are you planning on breaking this lady's heart or do you think you will try to continue to keep the lady you want to marry a secret from this lady who says she loves you (which will also break her heart when she finds out)?

 

Here's the messed up part: If I marry the 1st lady the plan is to go to the 2nd and propose to her. She will almost certainly decline, citing here family's disapproval. After that I will tell her that I have to move on. That way she will think that it was HER cowardice to caused the end of our relationship. In this scenario I will be able to go back to her if things with the first don't work out.

 

Is this a bit cruel? Yeah, but even though I love this woman with all my heart mind and soul (when I think about it I love her more than the 1st one), she brought this on herself. When I first met her I would have left my first lady for her, but she wouldn't grow a spine

[CarrieT]

Is this a bit cruel? Yeah, but even though I love this woman with all my heart mind and soul (when I think about it I love her more than the 1st one), she brought this on herself. When I first met her I would have left my first lady for her, but she wouldn't grow a spine

Wow. Just wow. :mad:

 

I hope both women find out how much you are playing them and dump your a**.

[Coup La-La]

I hope both women find out how much you are playing them and dump your a**.

 

Like I said, if the 2nd had been willing to openly date me I would have been willing to have a monogamous relationship with her at the time. It's not exactly the same as playing someone.

 

If she was offered a real relationship on a silver platter and refused because she won't stand up to her family (that came here on a boat like in the Godfather II, mind you), how does she not bear any responsibility? don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that I'm innocent.

[BetheButterfly]

You're right it is really sad.

 

 

Not just because it seems that no matter what black people in America do, we will always be considered inferior.

I 100% disagree with that. Martin Luther King Jr. helped many white people understand that black people are equal with white people. It was like he put "glasses" on many white people to help them see the Truth.

 

The Truth is that people are equal no matter the color of their skin. Just like a black horse and a white horse are both beautiful and equal... neither is better or worse than the other but rather both are gorgeous, so people are awesome and beautiful no matter the color of their skin!!!

 

I love the song The Colours of the Wind one reason being because I think it teaches how some people groups' view of other people has been distorted due to greed and selfishness.

 

This stanza is so important I think:

"You think the only people who are people

Are the people who look and think like you

But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

You'll learn things you never knew you never knew"

Colour of the wind - Vanessa williams - YouTube

 

The diversity of human skin color is beautiful. The diversity in humans' skin color is beautiful and is like the variety of colors in the rainbow.

 

But also the fact that her family thinks that they're better than me, even though her grandparents were middle school dropouts and everyone in my family has gone to college...even BEFORE the civil war, yes BEFORE slavery ended.

They obviously have a lot to learn.

 

 

 

I couldn't agree with you more. The world only changes when people are brave.

Wow awesome quote: "The world only changes when people are brave. " Love it!

 

 

Here's the messed up part: If I marry the 1st lady the plan is to go to the 2nd and propose to her.

That is messed up.

 

She will almost certainly decline, citing here family's disapproval. After that I will tell her that I have to move on. That way she will think that it was HER cowardice to caused the end of our relationship. In this scenario I will be able to go back to her if things with the first don't work out.

Well, you have thought things out, but I 100% disagree with this. (I liked your post due to the quote about the world changing by brave people.)

 

I think it's only fair to tell both women about what you are doing. Who knows? Maybe they will want to share you? I don't know. I personally wouldn't want to share my husband with anybody but not all women are like me.

 

Is this a bit cruel?

Yes.

 

Yeah, but even though I love this woman with all my heart mind and soul (when I think about it I love her more than the 1st one), she brought this on herself. When I first met her I would have left my first lady for her, but she wouldn't grow a spine

I think that if you truly love her, you would tell her the truth about the other lady. I think both Honesty, Trustworthiness, and Bravery are vital ingredients of True Love.

 

I actually question her love for you if she is not willing to be brave enough to choose you over her family's approval.

[CarrieT]

Like I said, if the 2nd had been willing to openly date me I would have been willing to have a monogamous relationship with her at the time. It's not exactly the same as playing someone.

It is when she doesn't know you are seeing someone else. That IS playing someone, isn't it?

 

If she was offered a real relationship on a silver platter and refused because she won't stand up to her family (that came here on a boat like in the Godfather II, mind you), how does she not bear any responsibility? don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that I'm innocent.

Then if you knew this, why did you get involved with her in the first place? Why are you placing the onus of the responsibility of a monogamous relationship entirely on her shoulders?