Confidence, Living in the Moment, and Positivity - My Questions

[fiftyofsomethin]

Hey guys.

 

So I have recently boiled what I have to do to reach my goals of happiness and social elevation to three things:

 

Being confident, living in the moment, and being positive.

 

I have seen some considerable growth since this realization HOWEVER I still seem to run into these mental dilemmas that can hold up my progress anywhere from a couple of minutes to an entire week if I don't figure it out fast enough.

 

Many times I am able to just dismiss worrying thoughts of the future or thoughts of rumination about past events fairly quickly. But when certain things happen in quick succession of each other, my mind can't keep up.

 

Today it happened. I was fine all day. I was feeling good and my mind was clear and then a few small things happened at the end of the day that have caused me to ruminate since I got home three hours ago.

 

But the problem with rumination is just those small problems are never enough. It always ends up turning into me worrying about everything going on in my life at the moment. It's simply exhausting when I get in these modes.

 

The problem is that when the worries have built up enough steam, I simply cannot just let them go. My mind tells me that "bad things" will happen if I do. I don't know what they are but I just get this odd, isolated, sinking feeling that I am in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, with the wrong people etc. I feel that everyone else (especially my ex) is out doing the right thing and I am sitting here doing nothing. Everything just turns into doubt and negativity. I don't know WHY I feel this way. I don't exactly know what I expect to happen if I keep worrying. I just have a bad feeling about it. The only way out of this every single time is to actually convince my mind that it's okay to let them go.

 

I just would like to find some definitive way to clear my mind and think clearly about the present moment and in turn, act confidently and think positively. I'm usually okay with this, just sometimes, times like this, I simply cannot allow myself to let obsessive thoughts go. It's like I feel trapped in my own head.

 

 

Like just now, I had trouble thinking clearly about what I should wright here. I know that I left out many of the thoughts I had, so I know I explained this much more poorly than I could have. It took my 30 mins to finish it and most of it was just me walking around the room trying to remember the thoughts I had.

 

Anyways, any advice would be appreciated.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Oh and one thing I left out:

 

Whenever I am about to just let go of the thoughts in my head I always have this worry that there are all these things I have to do that I will forget about along with these thoughts. When in reality, many of those things don't exist.

 

I just have a lot of needless thoughts about things I can't change or even if I can, worrying simply won't fix.

 

I need to stop feeling the need to control everything that happens and just accept life how it is in the moment.

[fiftyofsomethin]

One thing after the next it seems.

 

I'm not going to even go into detail what happen just for the sake of variety if nothing else. But I just had one more frustrating thing happen to me just now than I could handle.

 

I am starting to lose it a bit. I need to calm down. I still have work to do. It's almost 9 pm. I had plans that I now can't do. Someone was supposed to text me back about a project who hasnt, everyone I know is out seeing that new Gatsby movie... including my ex...... okay I guess I didn't spare you all the details but you get the idea.

 

A bunch of small frustrating things have built up to me being, well, in a "foul" mood.

 

And unfortunately, I simply cannot focus on ANYTHING else until I get my thoughts straight.

 

I want to believe that just taking a deep breath will fix this, but it won't and I don't know. I need to stop fuc king overreacting. I need help. Damn.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Okay. I know I just posted three posts in a row, but, If anything, I would like some tips on how to stop thoughts from spiraling out of control like they are right now for me.

 

I am literally going from thought to thought about how I should be negative and in a bad mood. It's literally non-stop.

 

I NEED to find a way to let my mind be okay with just letting go of bothersome/obsessive thoughts. This is a huge roadblock to my progress.

 

I know that tonight just sort of happens to be a bad day, but I just need to find a better way of dealing with these bad days.