Depression

[KraftDinner]

Anyone suffer from it?

 

I've been depressed on and off since I was a teenager. It's funny because when I'm feeling okay, I forget what it's like and figure I was just being silly and weak when I thought I was depressed in the past. Until it comes back.

 

So I certainly can't expect others who haven't been there to understand.

 

A switch went off in my head today. I'm heading into a depressed state. It's hard to stop it. Life happens and stuff piles up and then one day I snap and can't deal anymore.

 

I didn't go to work today. I didn't want to and I wanted to see my fiance. We're working opposite schedules and I missed him.

 

I think I'm pushing people away. Or maybe it just so happens that everyone I know is going through crap all at once. Huh. I don't know.

 

Anyway. Venting I guess.

 

I think I may be bipolar actually. I go through phases where I'm on top of the world. I'm organized, successful, people are drawn to me, I get a lot done. Then I stop. Start calling in sick. Start ignoring my friends. Then eventually the cycle starts anew.

 

And yes, I realize saying this makes me seem crazy or weak or whatever. But I know some people will understand.

[LittleTiger]

Yes. I have suffered from depression for around 35 years, on and off, so I understand only too well how you're feeling.

 

The 'explanation' in my case seems to be slightly faulty wiring which is easily triggered to cause a major plummet in my mood that can last for months. I took anti-depressants for years, but these days I prefer not to because I hate the side effects - no sleep and loss of sex drive. My medical records describe me as 'dysthymic' but I hate labels. I'm an individual not a 'case'.

 

I have long periods of being well too and only my family, my fiancé and my closest friends are aware of my illness as I'm very good at hiding it.

 

Strangely, I have a very cheerful personality, despite the depression. I'm extremely confident and I come across to most people as sociable and outgoing. I have the really 'up' times too when I am genuinely full of beans, but not in a manic way so I'm definitely not bi-polar. I have a very strong personality, I'm a fighter and I'm proud of myself for 'hanging in there' every time I hit a rough patch and I am definitely not ashamed of how I am - I never feel silly or weak.

 

Just because you have an illness that affects your brain function doesn't make you any more silly or weak than someone who is eg diabetic or epileptic - the body does what it does and we need to learn to manage it - that's all.

 

I've heard every line there is about positive thinking - it's all good and there's no denying it can help. I know from experience though, positive thinking doesn't 'cure' depression any more than it would epilepsy - it just makes life a little easier to deal with - sometimes!

 

The one thing that seems to help me the most is remembering that it's always temporary. No matter how bad it gets, it always ends eventually. I keep fighting through the tough spots and one day a light appears and I feel better. No explanation, it just happens.

 

Doing good things for other people (and, for me, animals too) is a great way to keep your mental focus outside yourself when you're feeling low. Works for me anyway.

 

Hang in there! Hope this episode passes for you soon. (((Hugs)))

[Feelin Frisky]

...

And yes, I realize saying this makes me seem crazy or weak or whatever. But I know some people will understand.

 

No it doesn't. It's a sign of wellness to admit imperfection. No one IS perfect but society has enough dysfunction integrated into it--arguably from creationism--that people think perfection is the norm and flaw the exception. No. Flaw is the norm. Perfection is out of the question. I sought help--not for "depression" but for cyclical thought patters in which I kept ruminating over my engagement going to hell. I couldn't know it but I chose poorly--a woman with borderline personality disorder--and my own logic and consistency worked against me. All the arguing was useless. She retreated into sub-identities and could not learn from mistakes or the craziness she showed me. Rather than keep blaming her, I took myself to a psychiatrist and got on Prozac. It has helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. It hasn't made me perfect. It has however acted like a pair of eyeglasses on a blurry mind. And that new clarity of sight has given me the power to CHOOSE my feelings rather than suffer them.

 

Only fools who generalize and don't know the facts stigmatize eople who try to better themselves through psychiatry and psychotherapy. Today's meds do not intoxicate or create dependencies. They won't harm you to try. Good luck.

[LittleTiger]

Keep busy

 

I'm sure you mean well CC but, unless you've actually suffered from clinical depression, you couldn't understand how impossible this is during a period of serious illness.

 

When I'm very Ill, I can't even get myself out of bed........and reading a book?.....Not a chance! That's a bit like suggesting someone with a broken leg should go for a ten mile walk!!!

 

That said, I'm a big fan of mindfulness and maybe the OP could look into that when she's going through an 'up' phase. I would definitely recommend finding a good therapist too. Self awareness is a useful tool when dealing with this illness.

 

As FF says, anti-depressants are a good option if you've never tried them and the side effects don't bother you too much. I probably wouldn't have got through my 20s without them.

 

Hope you're ok OP.

[KraftDinner]

Keep busy, I suggest you do something called mindfulness it helps with addicts it can just as well work for you.

 

 

The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (Book & CD): Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn: 9781593851286: Amazon.com: Books

 

Oh yes, I've heard of this. I think. Is it related to mindful meditation? That's supposed to be good. I'll look into that, thanks...

[fortyninethousand322]

It's possible I suffer from depression. I've had people on here tell me I sound depressed, and I fit a lot of the warning signs and symptoms. I often feel depressed.

 

I'm scared of seeing a therapist or psychologist or whatever. So I've avoided that avenue.

[HeavenOrHell]

I have it too, for me it never really goes away, it's just a bit more bearable at some times than at other times, I'm not cut out for this life at all, I've no hopes for the future, except hoping I die before I get old, I'm 47 now, been wanting to die in my sleep for a long time.

 

Hope you come out of this phase soon.

[Maleficent]

Anyone suffer from it?

 

I've been depressed on and off since I was a teenager. It's funny because when I'm feeling okay, I forget what it's like and figure I was just being silly and weak when I thought I was depressed in the past. Until it comes back.

 

So I certainly can't expect others who haven't been there to understand.

 

A switch went off in my head today. I'm heading into a depressed state. It's hard to stop it. Life happens and stuff piles up and then one day I snap and can't deal anymore.

 

I didn't go to work today. I didn't want to and I wanted to see my fiance. We're working opposite schedules and I missed him.

 

I think I'm pushing people away. Or maybe it just so happens that everyone I know is going through crap all at once. Huh. I don't know.

 

Anyway. Venting I guess.

 

I think I may be bipolar actually. I go through phases where I'm on top of the world. I'm organized, successful, people are drawn to me, I get a lot done. Then I stop. Start calling in sick. Start ignoring my friends. Then eventually the cycle starts anew.

 

And yes, I realize saying this makes me seem crazy or weak or whatever. But I know some people will understand.

 

Go see a doctor. Yesterday.

[todreaminblue]

Yes. I have suffered from depression for around 35 years, on and off, so I understand only too well how you're feeling.

 

The 'explanation' in my case seems to be slightly faulty wiring which is easily triggered to cause a major plummet in my mood that can last for months. I took anti-depressants for years, but these days I prefer not to because I hate the side effects - no sleep and loss of sex drive. My medical records describe me as 'dysthymic' but I hate labels. I'm an individual not a 'case'.

 

I have long periods of being well too and only my family, my fiancé and my closest friends are aware of my illness as I'm very good at hiding it.

 

Strangely, I have a very cheerful personality, despite the depression. I'm extremely confident and I come across to most people as sociable and outgoing. I have the really 'up' times too when I am genuinely full of beans, but not in a manic way so I'm definitely not bi-polar. I have a very strong personality, I'm a fighter and I'm proud of myself for 'hanging in there' every time I hit a rough patch and I am definitely not ashamed of how I am - I never feel silly or weak.

 

Just because you have an illness that affects your brain function doesn't make you any more silly or weak than someone who is eg diabetic or epileptic - the body does what it does and we need to learn to manage it - that's all.

 

I've heard every line there is about positive thinking - it's all good and there's no denying it can help. I know from experience though, positive thinking doesn't 'cure' depression any more than it would epilepsy - it just makes life a little easier to deal with - sometimes!

 

The one thing that seems to help me the most is remembering that it's always temporary. No matter how bad it gets, it always ends eventually. I keep fighting through the tough spots and one day a light appears and I feel better. No explanation, it just happens.

 

Doing good things for other people (and, for me, animals too) is a great way to keep your mental focus outside yourself when you're feeling low. Works for me anyway.

 

Hang in there! Hope this episode passes for you soon. (((Hugs)))

 

 

I had to repeat your post because i think it is wonderful.....i have had depression on and off for a long time too...most of the time its managable.....soem days it gets pretty bad, i have schizo affective disorder too which can compound or exasperate the depression or it could be the other way around...i really dont know, haven't had any luck with meds and i have taken a plethora of doctor inspiration in that department, most of them with side effects that made the depression worse.....

 

I have found fresh air and exercise when i am low actually lifts my mood enough to deal with it, the endorphins flow and i can get back to my positive self.......i also have faith....and that helps me the most.......i accept who i am and people who know and love me accept who i am .......i think support is important...and a bit of compassion makes it a lot easier to deal witht hen if you dont feel judged.....just loved......the replies on this thread are heart warming...supportive and understanding....the world might be getting crazy.....but there are some really thoughtful people in the world....and on here......hugs to kraftie.......from deb .......

[Maleficent]

Keep busy, I suggest you do something called mindfulness it helps with addicts it can just as well work for you.

 

 

The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (Book & CD): Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn: 9781593851286: Amazon.com: Books

 

Sorry but - that's a big sack of lies.

Depression affects the brain on an hormonal level. It will help but definitely won't fix it. Depression requires treatment.

 

Also 'keep busy' is not really a good suggestion. It's like telling someone with a broken leg to keep their minds off of the pain.

[HeavenOrHell]

They don't necessarily help or take you seriously.

 

 

Go see a doctor. Yesterday.

[Feelin Frisky]

....

 

I'm scared of seeing a therapist or psychologist or whatever. So I've avoided that avenue.

 

A big axe murderer-looking guy like you being scared? Fear not. Just keep it to yourself if you're concerned about stigmatization from others. They who would fault you are behind the times. There's so much to be gained. I had no idea that by seeing my doctor and trying to find meds that were transparent--one's which I would not feel any presence of in my mind as I went about my job and life--that not only would the depression go away but my life-long problem with blushing and self-consciousness would go too. That was soooooo liberating and actually facilitating that my whole social mobility changed for the better. I ceased defeating myself where I would over-think things and would often choose not to assert myself, and instead lived a new life of taking action unabashed. And other people are all self-conscious to some degree and that's why they often feel relieved when they are around seemingly confident people. It's not "all on them" to break the social ice. Your secret would be safe with me.

[candie13]

They don't necessarily help or take you seriously.

 

they do!!! good specialists do!

 

You need to keep a chart of yourself, to understand what triggers your depression. In my case, it's worries. I worry, I start to sleep less, I start to feel tired - there it goes, the perfect set up for a depression.

 

What helped me several times from those severe depression episodes were friends, people to talk to. You may also need to force yourself to go for a run every day, if necessary. Your body will produce those substances that are known as "the runners high" and will help you fight your depression. The moment you start feeling the help and manage to get out of the dark zone, reach for help.

 

I usually need a strong kick in the butt to get myself together - pity party everywhere.

 

So: START EXERCISING for more energy and ADDRESS your problem to a specialist.

[LittleTiger]

It's possible I suffer from depression. I've had people on here tell me I sound depressed, and I fit a lot of the warning signs and symptoms. I often feel depressed.

 

I'm scared of seeing a therapist or psychologist or whatever. So I've avoided that avenue.

 

Please don't be afraid to see a specialist. Just make sure you find someone you can talk to and who you feel comfortable with. When you find the right therapist it can be sooo helpful.

[LittleTiger]

i have it too, for me it never really goes away, it's just a bit more bearable at some times than at other times, i'm not cut out for this life at all, i've no hopes for the future, except hoping i die before i get old, i'm 47 now, been wanting to die in my sleep for a long time.

 

(((((hugs))))) HOH

[LittleTiger]

they do!!! good specialists do!

 

You need to keep a chart of yourself, to understand what triggers your depression. In my case, it's worries. I worry, I start to sleep less, I start to feel tired - there it goes, the perfect set up for a depression.

 

What helped me several times from those severe depression episodes were friends, people to talk to. You may also need to force yourself to go for a run every day, if necessary. Your body will produce those substances that are known as "the runners high" and will help you fight your depression. The moment you start feeling the help and manage to get out of the dark zone, reach for help.

 

I usually need a strong kick in the butt to get myself together - pity party everywhere.

 

So: START EXERCISING for more energy and ADDRESS your problem to a specialist.

 

Some do, some don't - it depends on where you live.

 

It's great that you have found a way to keep depression at bay for yourself. Unfortunately it isn't that easy for everyone, despite what the doctors like to say - doctors who have never been depressed of course.

 

I love to exercise. I swim, hike and workout in the gym on a regular basis. At the moment I'm physically unwell but under normal circumstances I am physically very fit and healthy and I exercise five or six times a week. I know all about the endorphin rush from exercise and I use it every chance I get. It helps, provided I am not in a serious depression. I have been known to cry buckets on the treadmill (when the gym is empty of course ) so I know from experience that the runners high just doesn't work for me when I'm seriously ill.

 

I don't even have a pattern. I can be worried about something major and feel fine. I can be relatively stress free and feel as though I want the world to end. My depression comes when it comes and goes when it goes.

 

We're all different I suppose and the trick is finding what works for you.

[fortyninethousand322]

Please don't be afraid to see a specialist. Just make sure you find someone you can talk to and who you feel comfortable with. When you find the right therapist it can be sooo helpful.

 

Three things that scare me about it:

 

1. What if I find out I am depressed?

 

2. What if I find out I'm not depressed?

 

3. It devastated my mom when my sister decided to get therapy, she felt like it meant she was a bad parent. I'm afraid of putting her through that again this time with me.

 

Despite these three things, I am seriously considering seeing a therapist.

[LittleTiger]

Three things that scare me about it:

 

1. What if I find out I am depressed?

 

2. What if I find out I'm not depressed?

 

3. It devastated my mom when my sister decided to get therapy, she felt like it meant she was a bad parent. I'm afraid of putting her through that again this time with me.

 

Despite these three things, I am seriously considering seeing a therapist.

 

1. A good therapist will not 'tell' you if you are depressed or not. He or she will work with you to find out how you can help yourself to feel better. They may suggest trying anti-depressants if that's an option you want to consider, but it's always your choice.

 

2. See point 1. Being depressed is not 'a diagnosis', it's a state of mind.

 

3. While your concern for your mom is admirable - what about your concern for yourself? Is it ok for you to be unhappy just so that your mom doesn't feel bad about herself? Your mom is responsible for her own feelings and you are responsible for yours.

 

I hope you do choose to see a therapist - for me it was the first step to leading a happier life.

 

(PS: I had the 'mom problem' too)

[HeavenOrHell]

My GP's didn't take me seriously for years, when they eventually sent me to be assessed I was told there wasn't enough help available.

I asked until I was blue in the face, year after year, but apparently telling them I felt suicidal wasn't reason enough to need help, in the meantime my then partner got 8 years of one to one help, (even though he was functioning better than me) and then a support group, it was great he got the help he needed, but we were both frustrated that I got no help.

 

I was offered the support group eventually (after we split up) but couldn't go as my ex was still in it.

 

I now pay to see someone privately when I can afford it.

 

Life in general has always made me anxious, depressed, since I was 3, I've never wanted to be here, some people enjoy life and others don't.

 

I can't handle going for a run, I used to go the gym but I found it too boring, I just keep busy doing voluntary work which I find fulfilling and which helps others.

 

I have good friends, but can tend to isolate myself when I'm at my worst because I have no energy and also don't want to go on about how crap I feel.

 

We've said we're going to get out for more walks though which may help.

 

they do!!! good specialists do!

 

You need to keep a chart of yourself, to understand what triggers your depression. In my case, it's worries. I worry, I start to sleep less, I start to feel tired - there it goes, the perfect set up for a depression.

 

What helped me several times from those severe depression episodes were friends, people to talk to. You may also need to force yourself to go for a run every day, if necessary. Your body will produce those substances that are known as "the runners high" and will help you fight your depression. The moment you start feeling the help and manage to get out of the dark zone, reach for help.

 

I usually need a strong kick in the butt to get myself together - pity party everywhere.

 

So: START EXERCISING for more energy and ADDRESS your problem to a specialist.