HELP!!!!! I married a SOB!!!!!

[barbie]

ok you guys I need some advice on a few rthings here . Im thinking seriously about leaving my husband because I have had it with the SOB{ sorry but I am angry at the moment}Right now he is spending the night with his mother and his sister and playin cards and drinkin while I am here with the kids all by myself .NO ! thats not why I want to divoce the SOB.

# ! reason for wanting to divorce the SOB is he cheated on me about 4 months ago and according to him I should be over it by now BUT SHAME ON ME!!!!!! i am not "over it"

#2 I moved down here to Tennessee from Ohio just for him and his family , not only did I moved down here but I uprooted my 2 older children from their schools , family, friends and their dad who I had to fight in court with for 6 months just to move them down here and that was PURE HELL. My kids at first hated me for moving down here but then they got used to it and made lots of friends .My husband doesnt understand why I feeel guilty about uprooting them and taking them away from their father who was a good father SHAME ON ME AGAIN .

#3 I am losing my eyesight due to a disease called usher syndrome , I wion't be driving much longer as a matter of fact Im not supposed to be driving as it is especially after dark and he and his family all knows that but they never offer to drive me anywhere .My husband has been with me to my optician and knows how serious my disease is but yet he believes that I am faking it. SHAME ON ME FOR FAKING IT!!!!!!

#4 He knows all and I know nothing

# 5 His family are all gross {Sorry!!! but it is the truth}and NO!!!! i don't think that I am better than them I just act alot better than them{sorry !!!!but thats the truth}they fart , they burp and they sqreeze each others zits and its totally disgusting to me,their is a time and place for such things

#6 my H always yells profanity at me in front of rhe kids . he say shut your f#@%^ing mouth up b%$@#h !!!!!!!or he'll just say something like "I don't f#@$%ing care!" He says that he can talk to me any way he f#$@king wants to in his house .Our 5 yr old yells profanity at me from time to time and I have to remind him that he can't talk to me like that.

# 7 Today we promised our 5 yr old that we would take him to chucky cheeses but NOPE he had to drink and play cards with his family > I would have aken him myself but because of my eyes and the crowd I couldn't.

#8 OH ok !!!! their are many other reasons why I want to leave the SOB but I 'll just stop here My Question is do I have the right to take our 5 yr old back to Ohio with me ????? YES!!!!!!! i want to go back home My husband tells me that by law it would be considered kidnapping if I take him.

I can't stay here when their is no support from his family and I am not about to leave my son here with THESE P{EOPLE! NO WAY!!!!!

Another thing too, My daughter who is 16vhas a boyfriend thats she has been seeing for over a year and she is NOT happy about moving again and having to go thru all of this again and leaving her bf., What effect would this have on her ???????

I know I sound like an idiot but believe me at one time I was smart well that was before I married the SOB. And believe it or not he was a wonderful man . Oh, but that was before he realized that I was smart and found out that he likes to flirt with other women but then I had a chat with him and told him that flirting with other women is inappropriate while being married.

Anyhow are those good enough reasons for me to leave the SOB??PLEASE anyone reply soon to all my questions , THank You Barbie

[izzybelle]

barbie, sounds like a real mess. don't beat yourself up about it or by any means let him get you to think that it's all your fault. yes, it's a two way street but...

 

after reading your story, it's a good start for why to leave. but.... i also know that when you were writing it you sounded pretty mad about the whole chucky cheese thing. do you still love him? you said he once was a wonderful man, is it just when he's around his family that he becomes this...ummm....not-so-wonderful human? if so, i don't imagine he's be willing to move someplace that would just be you and your kids? do you feel you've tried everything? and i'm not going to throw the "counseling" suggestion out there because although it may be advisable from the little you've written, he doesn't sound like he'd go, or be 100% into making it work. if i'm wrong, then suggest it.

 

in any case, you will need to talk to an attorney at some point. i don't know the rules in your state but yeah, you could end up in some serious trouble if you just take your kids and leave. what i don't know is that if there are cases of abuse (maybe not physical but emotional and psychological may come into play here) whether you're justified or not. but i wouldn't until you've talked to an attorney. i know with you eyesight failing it will be hard either way, but don't let that influence your decision. don't become so dependent on him that you're afraid to leave. is it possible to just move out to a different house in the area? do you have many friends there that can help you? sorry for all the questions.

 

as for your 16 year old daughter...tough call. if she's got a bf i can see where she'd get more than a little upset at being uprooted especially if it's far away. has she witnessed the way he treats you? how does she feel about her step dad and his family? she's probably old enough to talk to about some of this, but only you know her well enough to know if she can handle it. a friend of mine found out his wife was cheating, his 17 year old daugther found out too, on her own. although it was uncomfortable at first and he was always careful not to badmouth her mother, he did find that he could have honest conversations with her about what was going on and why the marriage had to end. i'm not saying to put your kids in the middle, but if i understood correctly she's not his kid.

 

you've got a tough situation, but you'll make it through it. hang in there.

izzy

[ready2moveon26]

Your husband sounds as bipolar as mine! Get your kids and get out! Kids are agile...they'll adjust...they did before...and if your daughter's boyfriend and her really love one another...it will work out later...maybe he can go to college in Ohio or she can go to college in Tennessee. Get your 5 year old and get him out of there. It is NOT kidnapping! My husband and I have been seperated for 6 months and neither of us can call "kidnapping" cause we are both her parents. I live in Ohio and that's how Ohio laws are anyway. GOOD LUCK!

[SoleMate]

You either need a marriage counselor, or a lawyer. I think I'd start with the counselor, and have the lawyer idea ready to go.

 

My sympatrhies on your very difficult situation with your family and your health.

[ladyangel]

Originally posted by ready2moveon26

Your husband sounds as bipolar as mine! Get your kids and get out! Kids are agile...they'll adjust...they did before...and if your daughter's boyfriend and her really love one another...it will work out later...maybe he can go to college in Ohio or she can go to college in Tennessee. Get your 5 year old and get him out of there. It is NOT kidnapping! My husband and I have been seperated for 6 months and neither of us can call "kidnapping" cause we are both her parents. I live in Ohio and that's how Ohio laws are anyway. GOOD LUCK!

I'm just curious, ready2moveon26, why do you say that her husband sounds bipolar? What did you see in her post that indicated that to you?

 

Also, is your husband diagnosed as bipolar? If so, does he takes medication for it?

[ready2moveon26]

Her husband and my husband sound like the same person. My husband is on medication if that is any of your concern! I don't know my post really caught your eye. What's the problem?

[shortbus74]

Barbie... I would run like hell and never look back.............do what is right for you and your kids... (the kids may be upset at first, but they will adjust)