withnodirection Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Hi there, I have been in a deep s*** for falling in love with a MM. He is my boss, and we had a good time working together and discussing about anything. However, one night we worked extra hours, he kissed me and confessed to me that he fall in love with me. I was so stupid to think that this love will stand strong and everything will go well. Early this year, his wife knew about the affair and threaten to leave him with the kids. I feel so guilty. I never want anything bad happen to his family even though contrarily I want him to spend more time with me. He suggest to me to hide about relationship and pretend that we are over each other, that we stop texting and contacting but we did not. I do love him, but i always feel i am not as important in his life. Every time i make up my mind to leave him, he said he love me so much, and the love is real. And again, he got busted and now his wife want to meet me and sort things out. He said, he still want to be with me and ask me to lie to the wife again. Should i meet his wife? I just worry she'll attack me. I had enough already and this time i will not turn back. I just so hurt to forget and leave him. But nonetheless i have to work hard on it. Just hope to get some support and advise to stay alive in this fight with my stupid feeling. Btw, I will still see him once in a while in office because he is my boss. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Don't meet his wife unless you're ready to. If she wants answers to questions you can answer them in emails or phone calls. If you feel comfortable enough after those then meet her if you want to. Be prepared for her to be angry and be prepared to tell her the truth. Don't get defensive because at the end of the day it was her H that cheated on her and it is easier for her, at this stage, to try and attach blame anywhere other than on the one who was meant to protect her. Keep your cool and don't attack if she does. Tell her you're not prepared to speak (or email) until she can have an exchange without attacking. She probably will be fine with you. Remember what she's going through too. Her world is more rocked than yours is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author withnodirection Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 Ladies, thanks for the advise. i met her today and he was there too. Apparently he acting like a very good H in front of her and when I left, he texted me saying how sorry he was make me feel so sad and how much he miss me. Is it love or he just want to play with my feeling. I am not going to wait anymore. It is enough that he make me look like the only one to blame in front of his family. If he really want me, he can work it out nonetheless it will not affect me. But it still hurts. I was crying without tears. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Ladies, thanks for the advise. i met her today and he was there too. Apparently he acting like a very good H in front of her and when I left, he texted me saying how sorry he was make me feel so sad and how much he miss me. Is it love or he just want to play with my feeling. I am not going to wait anymore. It is enough that he make me look like the only one to blame in front of his family. If he really want me, he can work it out nonetheless it will not affect me. But it still hurts. I was crying without tears. Umm...I would send her that text. He gaslighted his wife in front of you, made it all your fault and then had the nerve to text you?! What a total a**wipe! Send her the text and see how wonderful he looks then! What a douchebag. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Listen, tell him that you would rather say nothing than lie for him. He should respect your feelings. Its not right. Please don't talk to her again unless its to tell the truth. I've been in that situation too. Its horrible. It's just too much to ask, no matter what his reasons are for wanting to stay in his M. Link to post Share on other sites
Author withnodirection Posted May 13, 2013 Author Share Posted May 13, 2013 I did not deny the affair. I make up my mind before meeting them (himself, his wife, his mom and his 2 daughter) that I will end this relationship, that no more love text messaging between us. That's what I told them and I want to keep my words. However, he keep contacting me saying how much he miss me, how much he feel bad make me go through all these and he keep saying that he love me so much. I told him that we need to stop. I don't want him to gamble his family and marriage because of me. If we continue this A, his wife will find out again and there will be no more next time for him. His wife will sure leave him for good with the kids. He said he willing to take the risk. What should I do? Yes,I do really love him but I never ask him to sacrifice his family and I don't want him to. "i know dear.... that's the risk i am taking. dear, the connection with u is so close... we are so 'click' to almost everything" <-- the MM's words It seems like there is no happy ending in this relationship. How should i tell him that we are not meant for each other, at least not now (when i'm deeply in love with him). I don't want to be blame if the kids grow up without a father. Am i very selfish? Link to post Share on other sites
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