think I'm goin crazy over this

[just some girl]

Okay,

 

So, this guy, let's call him Q . . . me and him went out 8 months ago and things were beautiful. I slept with another girl, being a female myself, and he ended it. We were friends through the break up. We were always there for one another. When we dated, I have to add, we never slept together once.

 

But through the break up, we were great friends. I never saw him, but we talked EVERY day, online or on the phone. He contacted me a couple months ago because he needed a friend and we had become just about best friends. He cried on my shoulder (which he never has done to anyone in person) and we got closer. We had sex between these points.

 

We became very close. VERY close.

 

We went out one night and he introduced me to his cousin and his cousin's best friend. Please understand, up to this point, Q never acknowledged me as his girlfriend when I met anyone. He never touched me in public. He never showed affection.

 

So I met them. His cousin's best friend drove me home and asked me if I wanted to bulls*** for a few; I said okay becuz I didn't want to go home yet. Nothing happened, except a kiss. But I liked him.

 

Q was mad that I spent time with him.

 

Nonetheless, I went out with him the next weekend, and we had lots of fun. He felt bad because he thinks he put something between me and Q. Even though, he likes me.

 

I can respect that.

 

Q has always been there for me, through thick and thin; but do I owe him my loyality in romance when he won't even kiss me in public? I mean, I have an 80% probabitlity factor that says Q loves me; but shouldn't he have told me? Do I owe him loyality if he never has told me?

 

Q has been there for me through thick and thin, through all my problems; but shouldn't he have told me he loves me, by now, if he really did? Am I right to want something more than he will not give me??

 

Please do tell.

[Tony T]

You don't owe Q a damned thing, even if he told you he loved you. How does that obligate you to somebody?

 

If you really care about Q and want to get things straight with him and get your relationship on track, you should communicate with him, tell him exactly how you feel and what you need. Now, maybe you have done that. But if he can't make you feel special and loved, then he should not be on your list of possiblities for romance.

 

Right now you have no committment to him. As a matter of fact, HE broke up with you because you would rather sleep with a girl than with him. I would have broken up with you under those circumstances myself. He's probably still pretty hurt about that. But that's history.

 

If you find yourself attracted to his cousin's best friend, by all means go for it. You have no obligation to anyone. I see no emotional or other benefits you are getting from Q now...except a lot of crap.

 

Under the present circumstances, you are pretty much free to see whomever you want.

 

It sounds like Q has got some communication and other problems he needs to deal with. People who are not very expressive usually came from families that weren't very affectionate and that were dysfunctional to a great extent than most. That's not your problem. Do what will make YOU happy!!!

[Deejette]

Q doesn't own you and, since he has not told you he loved you and you are left wondering, you are not even in a committed relationship. Therefore, it is perfectly OK for you to see anyone you want, male or female.

You don't owe Q a damned thing, even if he told you he loved you. How does that obligate you to somebody? If you really care about Q and want to get things straight with him and get your relationship on track, you should communicate with him, tell him exactly how you feel and what you need. Now, maybe you have done that. But if he can't make you feel special and loved, then he should not be on your list of possiblities for romance. Right now you have no committment to him. As a matter of fact, HE broke up with you because you would rather sleep with a girl than with him. I would have broken up with you under those circumstances myself. He's probably still pretty hurt about that. But that's history. If you find yourself attracted to his cousin's best friend, by all means go for it. You have no obligation to anyone. I see no emotional or other benefits you are getting from Q now...except a lot of crap. Under the present circumstances, you are pretty much free to see whomever you want. It sounds like Q has got some communication and other problems he needs to deal with. People who are not very expressive usually came from families that weren't very affectionate and that were dysfunctional to a great extent than most. That's not your problem. Do what will make YOU happy!!!