jcrew11 Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 I was just wondering if your lifestyle is preventing you from dating or meeting more women/men? How do you change your lifestyle to meet more women/men? Some of us have jobs that are boring engineering jobs that aren't "socially interesting" and give us few opportunities to meet women. I like my job, but my worry is that I will never have a chance to meet any women. How can a guy change his lifestyle to become more attractive to women and meet more women? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Absolutely. I have sworn off dating and sex until I get my life sorted out. Self-employment isn't working out too great, so I'm trying to supplement my income, and possibly go back to school. The best way you can change your lifestyle IMO is simply to make time. You want to have a job, preferably one you like doing, but you still have to make sure it allows you time to have a life outside of it. That's the precursor to everything else - after that, you figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Probably. I work at a job where I make zero dollars. Literally zero. As in nothing. I live at home (and share a tiny bedroom with my brother), have no lucrative job skills (aside from being able to read and write fairly well), and my job applications routinely end up in the trash bins of prospective employers. I'm at least 2-3 years from being able to move out. Probably 10 years away to be honest. At least I have some money left from when I did work. And I have a car. Otherwise I'd be totally screwed... Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Absolutely. I have sworn off dating and sex until I get my life sorted out. Self-employment isn't working out too great, so I'm trying to supplement my income, and possibly go back to school. The best way you can change your lifestyle IMO is simply to make time. You want to have a job, preferably one you like doing, but you still have to make sure it allows you time to have a life outside of it. That's the precursor to everything else - after that, you figure it out. Just out of curiosity, what kind of self-employment are you involved in? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 I was just wondering if your lifestyle is preventing you from dating or meeting more women/men? How do you change your lifestyle to meet more women/men? Some of us have jobs that are boring engineering jobs that aren't "socially interesting" and give us few opportunities to meet women. I like my job, but my worry is that I will never have a chance to meet any women. How can a guy change his lifestyle to become more attractive to women and meet more women? I think you can look into meetup groups in your area. The do activities together. There are singles groups for example, you are in that community, go do something together on the weekends or in the evenings and you can meet single women. I am in the same situation, everyone is married at work and no way to meet available people, unless through a specific effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Just out of curiosity, what kind of self-employment are you involved in? Private tutoring. I teach piano, beat-making and engineering. I mostly get requests for beat-making tutorials but it doesn't pay enough right now. Not enough customers. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 I think you can look into meetup groups in your area. The do activities together. There are singles groups for example, you are in that community, go do something together on the weekends or in the evenings and you can meet single women. I am in the same situation, everyone is married at work and no way to meet available people, unless through a specific effort. Meetup is fun ...sign up! it would be nice if I had the time to go though(!) Working this trash of a shift (3-11pm) every day is no good...would also be good if I earned a little more to be able to go out more often too lol! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Meetup is fun ...sign up! it would be nice if I had the time to go though(!) Working this trash of a shift (3-11pm) every day is no good...would also be good if I earned a little more to be able to go out more often too lol! 7 days/wk? Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 7 days/wk? Nope. 5...sometimes 6 Its not really one of those convenient jobs...the days I am then off other friends don't necessarily tend to be off Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Nope. 5...sometimes 6 Its not really one of those convenient jobs...the days I am then off other friends don't necessarily tend to be off Then you can go to some activities. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 although the irony is that I get the weekends off now ...but everyone else is working until 11! Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Then you can go to some activities. True...and from time to time I do but for some reason it seems to cost more than I anticipate which limits my options a little. I go, just not as often as I would like to. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Unless you work weird hrs why would your chosen profession make it hard for you to meet people? Just go out when other people go out & meet them. I'm a computer geek. my job isn't my problem. Being 41, divorced, & having two little kids most weekends is what is hindering me from meeting people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Unless you work weird hrs why would your chosen profession make it hard for you to meet people? Just go out when other people go out & meet them. I'm a computer geek. my job isn't my problem. Being 41, divorced, & having two little kids most weekends is what is hindering me from meeting people. I'm 41, work full time, divorced and have my son 100% of the time, no break, ever. Still go out maybe once a week or so. Link to post Share on other sites
tomhomme13 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 I hope you guys have better luck and eventually make a good income. It isn't easy getting a girlfriend even if you have money (I make north of 6 figures). It's become so annoying now that I just don't even try any more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcrew11 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 I hope you guys have better luck and eventually make a good income. It isn't easy getting a girlfriend even if you have money (I make north of 6 figures). It's become so annoying now that I just don't even try any more. I find that I put so much energy into work that the other social skills suffer. If I can spend all my free time doing relaxed fun stuff, then my social skills improve. Unfortunately, most people either focus on math or verbal, and its very difficult to be good at both at the same time. There are ways to improve your verbal skills and sales skills, but it just take practice, practice, practice. I've been considering voice lessons or public speaking to develop a more 'attractive' voice. Then there is also the problem of having free time to do fun things, so you can talk about these fun things instead of boring things at work. A lot of women want the fun romance, but most of us guys have boring regular lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcrew11 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 Probably. I work at a job where I make zero dollars. Literally zero. As in nothing. I live at home (and share a tiny bedroom with my brother), have no lucrative job skills (aside from being able to read and write fairly well), and my job applications routinely end up in the trash bins of prospective employers. I'm at least 2-3 years from being able to move out. Probably 10 years away to be honest. At least I have some money left from when I did work. And I have a car. Otherwise I'd be totally screwed... I think you should try a sales job, maybe at the mall, at a job with more women. even walmart or target are decent jobs to meet and talk to women. macy's is a good place to work with women and hot women in the cosmetics department. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 For me it's even more fundamental. It is because I don't respect traditional eurocentric gender norms and I am bisexual. Among the subculture my family belongs to I would be called a two-spirit. I am open to any gender but. Many str8 women fear I am really just gay or experience their own gender issues. Gay men fear I am really just straight. Lesbian women are sometimes interested until they realize I am an intact male. Then at the times when I live a much more feminine mode str8 men have a gay panic if they get turned on by me. In short there is no pre-packaged group of people who I can know won't have some kind of identity crisis once they realize they are in fact into me. I don't fault people for having their boundaries and lines. It is what it is. It just really sucks to have someone be totally into me but act all ashamed and stuff because of who I am. The final result is far more people of every stripe willing to fool around than to walk hand in hand with me. I have literally had more sex with more women than who have held my hand in public. That is not a good feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr_Flay Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Forget about the job, it doesn't matter. It's something you spend 8-10 hours on each day, but the rest of the day is free for you to organise as you see fit. Unless you work weird or irregular hours. My problem is that I don't like the bar/club scene. This makes me the black sheep of my generation (and most people in general), who can't wait until the next weekend to go clubbing again. It's not only that I'm cut off from the biggest venue in which I can meet girls. I can meet girls in different ways, but they find it weird when I say I don't like clubbing. It's like only elderly people don't like clubbing here. People often ask each other when they meet, "which club is your favourite?" I suppose it tells them something about the other person's personality. I have to answer truthfully, and they wonder why that is the case. It's I'm on a different wavelength from the majority of people, which is a shame, as I have a lot of common interests with others, and this is just one difference. Still, it seems to be a significant one. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 I'm 41, work full time, divorced and have my son 100% of the time, no break, ever. Still go out maybe once a week or so. Exactly. Baby-sitters do exist. It isn't like you are a bad parent if you go out once a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tomhomme13 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 I find that I put so much energy into work that the other social skills suffer. If I can spend all my free time doing relaxed fun stuff, then my social skills improve. Unfortunately, most people either focus on math or verbal, and its very difficult to be good at both at the same time. There are ways to improve your verbal skills and sales skills, but it just take practice, practice, practice. I've been considering voice lessons or public speaking to develop a more 'attractive' voice. Then there is also the problem of having free time to do fun things, so you can talk about these fun things instead of boring things at work. A lot of women want the fun romance, but most of us guys have boring regular lives. It's actually interesting that you mention sales. I *am* in sales! And very successful in that. This year with the economy improving, I am on track to earning 7 figures. To get to where I am, it is not a lack of social skills -- I have plenty of friends and I have been told numerous times that I am the MOST social guy that they know. The problem, unfortunately is the product. Anyone can sell a good product. A mediocre product requires skill. But an obviously crap product cannot be moved unless you PAY the customer! Unfortunately, I *am* that crap product. I really don't want to flaunt my money in order to compensate for my ugly looks to get a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Idk, but I know that I'd love to make close to 7 figures, girlfriend or not. You have it pretty good, just make friends and who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
tomhomme13 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Idk, but I know that I'd love to make close to 7 figures, girlfriend or not. You have it pretty good, just make friends and who knows... Haha, I have plenty of friends but no gf. I had planned to visit France this summer to see a girl I thought liked me. Got LJBF'ed. Sucks, but that's the story of my life. Second time a European girl did this to me. I guess my radar is badly tuned for those continental girls I guess I'll stick with good old US girls, but I have no luck with them either. And Asian girls don't want me either. I'm planning a ski trip down under this US summer. I'll find out whether Aussie girls diss me too! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Get a mail order bride from Eastern Europe. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Some of us have jobs that are boring engineering jobs that aren't "socially interesting" and give us few opportunities to meet women. I like my job, but my worry is that I will never have a chance to meet any women. How can a guy change his lifestyle to become more attractive to women and meet more women? Bingo. If you want something badly enough, you'll make the necessary changes to your lifestyle to get it. If not, then you probably never wanted it that badly in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
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