Heading back to church

[Teknoe]

Got saved about 4 summers ago. Was on the fast track to Christian superstardom... was on fire for God and witnessing to non-Christians. Around September 2012 was when I started to fall out of the church scene, and I haven't been to church since. One of the reason was I started working full time in September, whereas 2009-mid 2012 I worked part time, giving me plenty of free time to devote to all things God.

 

Now that my work is giving me a break for the summer, I have some time to reconnect. I am a little bit scared. I guess I am afraid to make a commitment with people that I don't feel a deep connection to. There is a young adult group at my church but I don't feel like I connect. My small group was a bunch of older people that I stopped going to because I felt it was no longer meeting my needs.

 

Nevertheless, I am going to try my best to at least come back on a part time basis this summer. If it doesn't click, I will try a new church. But I think I need to at least try again.

[pureinheart]

Hey Love!

 

IDK, I have differing opinions concerning church attendance and I'm probably wrong- although that is for God to deal with me on.

 

I take issue with "membership" and other things in the church on those lines. Thinking I've been to every church in my area (and there is a ton of them) at least twice. I go where the Lord leads and have had times in which I didn't attend for years at a time. Does that mean I forsook the fellowship? Maybe, maybe not.

 

I got tired of being judged at times and condescending tones as to, "we didn't see you last week..." I found myself constantly "explaining" and with judgmental types, there's never adequet explanation...andwant to say it's not only "church" that I take issue with this behavior:)

 

There is however a church that receives me for who I am...I can't fully operate in the gifts the way I'd like, but for over 20 years they have received me and have started going back there more regular than before.

 

My encouragement would be, give your life to Christ and let Him do the rest and even if you miss a Sunday give glory to Him:)

 

Many go to church every Sunday, but live like the devil all week long. I'd much rather see a person give glory to God every second of their life, not superficial glory for a couple of hours....

[Lobouspo]

Good for you, I have read some of your past posts, and just know that like St. John of the Cross wrote about, everyone has dry periods in their spiritual life relating to prayer, church attendance, connection with God, etc. While fellowship groups and church activities are important to some degree, focus on a church where the teaching is solid (i.e. biblical), and make time in the day for prayer, scripture reading, and some reflection ask for guidance. Remember, no matter how good the church is, people will always disappoint you, so don't base finding a church so much on the ministries and the people who attend.

[pie2]

I guess I am afraid to make a commitment with people that I don't feel a deep connection to.

 

Glad you're going back to church.

 

Personally, I don't think you have to feel any pressure from anyone to commit. What sort of commitment do you mean? In my own life, I usually do a lot better when I don't feel forced to do something.

[Teknoe]

Hey Love!

 

I got tired of being judged at times and condescending tones as to, "we didn't see you last week..." I found myself constantly "explaining" and with judgmental types, there's never adequet explanation...andwant to say it's not only "church" that I take issue with this behavior:)

 

Hey pure, I totally know and detest that which you speak of. It's nice people care, but I do loathe the judgmental "Where have ya been?" questions. My mentor texted me last night, asking how I been, because we have not talked in a long time. Eventually he got to the "How's church?" question and I told him it's been a while. He then asked some more ?'s and I could see where he was going i.e. "You need to come back" then he asked if we could have lunch sometime. To be nice, I said sure, but am kind of dreading it. I get the feeling he's just going to drill me and get on my case about how it's critical to attend church every Sunday.

 

 

Glad you're going back to church.

 

Personally, I don't think you have to feel any pressure from anyone to commit. What sort of commitment do you mean? In my own life, I usually do a lot better when I don't feel forced to do something.

 

Commitment I feel is well, the group knows me. I used to be very active in this group, back when I was on fire and had the time and interest to fellowship. Since then, I have become a lot more introverted. I also don't feel the "click" with this group... like real friends. It feels kinda forced and awkward. I'm afraid if I attend a meeting again, they will ask me to get more involved like how I was before I "left." I prefer, these days, to come and go as I please, but with this church I feel like if I come back, they'll try to get me plugged back in. It can feel like one big recruiting fair. I just want to go to a service, worship, take in a message and head home. Instead, I fear the bombardment of "Where you been?" "Let's go out to lunch" "hey see you for small group thursday" "hey see you for activity night friday" "hey let's have a group dinner next saturday" "hey did you sign up for this ministry?"

 

I know they mean well, but truth be told, I'm no longer interested in such things. I wish they would stop asking so much and just let it be. Sometimes I get the feeling that the "judgmental" people who ask so much "where you been?" is because part of them deep down sees church attendance as a bit of a chore (versus what it should be, out of pleasure) and thus, they're a bit bitter and want to make sure you're just as bitter, or at least, "suffering" the same attendance need to show up every Sunday. It's almost like they feel extra bad if you skip out and they have been going every Sunday. They want to skip out too, but the religious side of it pulls them in, and deep down they are a bit resentful.

 

Maybe a bit of a stretch there, but I don't doubt some Christians operate in that vein.

[pie2]

Maybe a bit of a stretch there, but I don't doubt some Christians operate in that vein.

 

Sometimes. And sometimes the Devil attacks us in just the right way, to make sure we don't enjoy what God has to offer.

 

Don't be timid, Teknoe (2 Timothy 1:7). Stand firm in who you are, and what you're really doing at church. Your strength will be an inspiration to those who cling to "church life", and not Jesus (even if you don't see it right away ).

[FredRutherford]

Got saved about 4 summers ago. Was on the fast track to Christian superstardom... was on fire for God and witnessing to non-Christians. Around September 2012 was when I started to fall out of the church scene, and I haven't been to church since. One of the reason was I started working full time in September, whereas 2009-mid 2012 I worked part time, giving me plenty of free time to devote to all things God.

 

Now that my work is giving me a break for the summer, I have some time to reconnect. I am a little bit scared. I guess I am afraid to make a commitment with people that I don't feel a deep connection to. There is a young adult group at my church but I don't feel like I connect. My small group was a bunch of older people that I stopped going to because I felt it was no longer meeting my needs.

 

Nevertheless, I am going to try my best to at least come back on a part time basis this summer. If it doesn't click, I will try a new church. But I think I need to at least try again.

I'd recommend finding a different church.

Look for larger ones, the ones having singles groups for adults closer to your age.

[angel.eyes]

Congratulations on staying true to your faith and trying to recommit to spending more time in fellowship, now that you have a little more flexibility. For me, I've found making it part of my routine, and scheduling around it (as I do with my job and my workouts) has helped me tremendously.

 

Two thoughts:

1. Sometimes, it's not that people are judging us. It's that we feel guilty and read what is truly genuine concern (which is a positive) with a negative slant because of our own issues. Of course, there are also judgmental people in all walks of life too. But I don't think someone mentioning that they've missed you automatically means that they judge you negatively for your absence. I miss people I care about when I don't see them. I want to make sure that they are OK.
    
   
2. Second, based on the brief information you've shared, that particular church or group might not be best for you. Not sure, but it doesn't sound as if you felt much of a connection with others in the group, related to them, or developed true friendships there. Perhaps another group with folks your own age and at your life stage might be a better fit. That's when I've benefited most from participating in a group.