seductress989 Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 I am officially starting No Contact with my ex of almost 4 months. It is already killing me thinking about not seeing him or talking to him. I am so scared now. Scared of being alone.......scared of never finding anyone that I'm satisfied with. That's what makes it so hard for me to do NC with him. Also, I am still very much emotionally attached to him as he claims the same thing. We are not together b/c I broke up w/him over something irrelevant 4 months ago. I do regret it, I admit. But, I know he will never take me back and I HAVE to move on. I am going to try my best at the NC thing. I've tried NC with him before but for some reason, before I hit the 2 week mark I always end up seeing or contacting him. I need everyone to let me know the guidelines for NC and how to survive it without going insane! Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Why wont he take you back? Have you tried or asked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author seductress989 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 Yes, I did ask him to take me back a month or two ago. He flat out rejected me which really hurt me. He said that it wouldn't work and b/c we live in 2 seperate towns and go to 2 different colleges so we wouldn't have time for each other. He's 21 and I'm 19. We dated for almost a year and a half. I broke it off. I have completely gave up on him now. We just seen each other the other day and I can tell the chemistry is finally starting to fade. The experts say it usually takes around 4 months to get over someone and it's been close to 4 months since I broke it off with him. I just need to know the correct way to do NC. Is it absolutely NO contact at all? That sounds pretty extreme. The only reason I still contact him now is b/c I'm lonely AND I feel sorry for him. His mom is on coke and meth. He doesn't do any drugs. I know, that's a whole different forum. I'm just giving the reasons behind my actions. I would appreciate everyone's response on NC and the best way to do it and keep it in force. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 The only reason why you contact him is cause you're lonely and you feel sorry for him??? Don't do him any favors! You've already hurt him enough. He has moved on you should too. The NC wont do any good but help youmove on. You had a chance to be with him and you didnt want to....maybe you guys will have a chance another time....maybe not. You will just have to let time and fate take control now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seductress989 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 Thank you, I will try my best. I know its going to be very hard not to contact him b/c of what he and I are going through. Both of us are having very rough times right now and thats one reason we're still there for each other. But I need to move on, so I will try NC for as long as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 If you want to be there for him to help him through his tough times then thats what is called a friend....he may really appreciate it later and you two could work things out....but you have to be friends without romantic overtones. Just be his friend. He doesnt want anything more from you so it just might work out being friends. I would give it a shot...unless he doesnt want to talk to you. The whole purpose of NC is to help you get over things but it sounds like you both are over each other since you dumped him and he has moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seductress989 Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 I know you're right. Things couldn't be any worse for me right now and I need arms to be held in. I moved to a new town and I'm starting a new life. It's so hard letting my old life go b/c it's all I knew. I'm also alone which doesn't help anything. He knows I'm seeing other people yet he still drives up here to see me...?? I don't get that. He said he still had feelings. He knows I do, but they're slowly fading. Finally! I'm starting to feel like myself a little at a time. I also feel like the NC policy will work this time. I'm just weak and scared but I truly appreciate your responses backspn. This website is awesome and I've learned a lot just from reading the posts. Thanx again. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Im confused....do you want to be with him or not? Cause if he drives up to see you then he still has strong feelings for you too. You have to figure out what you want and fast!! You may never get your chance with him again. Remember....the grass aint always greener on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
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