pilsg001 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 This is my first post in any forum so I am pretty unsure what to expect but all opinions welcome! Anyway a bit of background info, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months, I am 22 and he is 25. At the start of the relationship he told me was still in love with his ex who lives in a different city but would never go back to them, he also told me he cheated on that ex once when he was drunk but regretted it. I have been in previous relationships where I have been cheated on so I have a pretty general idea of what the warning signs are, so about a week ago him and his friend went to town on a saturday night and at 5:30 I receive a drunk message from him that said "love you" at the end, its the first time he ever has said it and I am not at that stage so I didn't say it back as I didn't think to much of him saying it in a text this early in the relationship whilst being drunk. We were meant to catch up on the Sunday but he said he needed time for himself and ignored my calls and messages the whole day. During the week he was a bit distant and less intimate, and so I suspected something was up. When he went to have a shower he left his phone open on his messages and I looked (something I never do) but I saw a message from a guy who said he used to see before me and was dated from sunday (the day he was ignoring me). I opened it up and I found a lot of messages about them organising to meet up for very specific sex, he said that we were only dating but he wasn't opposed to sleeping with other people (he told me we were exclusively dating). The messages also including naked pictures being exchanged and how they were meeting up but ended because the other persons parents came home so my boyfriend couldn't go over. The whole day all I could think of was the messages so I confronted him about it and he apologised and said he wanted to continue the relationship and he would have never slept with the other person or would never cheat on me. I reluctantly accepted his apology but it is still on my mind all the time, I have lost all my trust in him and I don't know if I could trust him again. After all it seemed pretty clear that if the other guy had the house to himself my boyfriend would have gone around there in a heartbeat, and the way he was talking dirty to the other guy made him sound like a sex addict. I would like to know what people's opinions are, am I overreacting? Should I stay with him or dump him? Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 (edited) This is my first post in any forum so I am pretty unsure what to expect but all opinions welcome! Anyway a bit of background info, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months, I am 22 and he is 25. At the start of the relationship he told me was still in love with his ex who lives in a different city but would never go back to them, he also told me he cheated on that ex once when he was drunk but regretted it. I have been in previous relationships where I have been cheated on so I have a pretty general idea of what the warning signs are, so about a week ago him and his friend went to town on a saturday night and at 5:30 I receive a drunk message from him that said "love you" at the end, its the first time he ever has said it and I am not at that stage so I didn't say it back as I didn't think to much of him saying it in a text this early in the relationship whilst being drunk. We were meant to catch up on the Sunday but he said he needed time for himself and ignored my calls and messages the whole day. During the week he was a bit distant and less intimate, and so I suspected something was up. When he went to have a shower he left his phone open on his messages and I looked (something I never do) but I saw a message from a guy who said he used to see before me and was dated from sunday (the day he was ignoring me). I opened it up and I found a lot of messages about them organising to meet up for very specific sex, he said that we were only dating but he wasn't opposed to sleeping with other people (he told me we were exclusively dating). The messages also including naked pictures being exchanged and how they were meeting up but ended because the other persons parents came home so my boyfriend couldn't go over. The whole day all I could think of was the messages so I confronted him about it and he apologised and said he wanted to continue the relationship and he would have never slept with the other person or would never cheat on me. I reluctantly accepted his apology but it is still on my mind all the time, I have lost all my trust in him and I don't know if I could trust him again. After all it seemed pretty clear that if the other guy had the house to himself my boyfriend would have gone around there in a heartbeat, and the way he was talking dirty to the other guy made him sound like a sex addict. I would like to know what people's opinions are, am I overreacting? Should I stay with him or dump him? Oops my bad. I had to read your profile. I wouldnt trust that situation. Something probably would have gone on. The ignoring part is very telling Edited May 13, 2013 by Keke1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 I'm assuming you're gay. I have a few friends in the gay community, and they tend to be quite promiscuous. The ones in relationships as well. The difference in these situations is that they agreed to an open relationship and they are okay with having sexual interactions with different people. The one couple has a bunch of rules attached to it while the other couple is full steam ahead, no rules. If you guys were not supposed to be seeing other people and did not agree upon an open relationship, then that is completely unacceptable. He'll keep doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 He's obviously got a thing going with this other dude, so if you are gay that means that he is untrustworthy (he's hiding it from you) and if you are straight that means the guy is a bisexual freakazoid. This is why people don't trust others that are promiscuous when it comes to serious relationships, they just can't keep their pants on. Link to post Share on other sites
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