Start of NC

[Leigh 87]

I never said my ex loved me. Or that he loved me more than Andrew loved you. I never said one was better than the other.

 

I was just pointing out some things. In fact, stating some of these things made me realize my own faults in my ex relationship. But I'm no NC and deserve all that entails.

 

You show people how they can treat you. Hopefully some day, you figure all of this crap out. Cause if you don't, you'll just find yourself in another unfulfilling relationship.

 

 

Good night Leigh.

 

 

 

Well you and others allude to Andrew easily being able to find a girl where he thinks " wow I was never in love with Leigh after all, there is no way I would never be able to ever have sex with a hooker again now"

 

I believe he loved me as much as he can love a women. He did things with me that are not in his usual character, as he has never been like that with a girl; before me.

 

I AGREE with the hooker thing, though! I DO NOT think it is a healthy thing to do in a committed and loving relationship!

 

I have learnt that through TaraMaiden and her advice, and also my mothers advice. Both smart women.

 

I have learnt a lot about myself through Andrew, and I do realise that I will not let other guys treat me in the way he did, regarding hookers.

 

At the time though, I did not think Andrew did anything wrong; I knew in my heart he truly loved me and that he would have been happy without the hookers anyway.

 

Next time around OF COURSE I am going to seek out a man who does not see hookers.

 

Isn't that a given?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Look, Andrew showed me daily his love. I honestly do not get into relationships with men who I don't adore me and love me on some level.

 

Leigh. THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE EVER HAD. Remember?

 

Please, please, please stop saying "adore me" and "crazy about me" over and over and over.

 

I am not doubting that you and Andrew loved each other, and I am not fixated on the hooker issue (even though it is CLEAR that you are, from reading this thread - you are gong on and on about it).

 

But a real, serious and deep relationship is not experienced as someone "adoring" and being "crazy about" and "wanting badly." It just is NOT.

 

YOU are obsessed with all those things. In recent months, your posts were not all about that crap and you were posting like a regular girl with feelings, interests, a life. But your unrealistic notions of what it's like to truly be loved would be impossible to deal with.

[Leigh 87]

I was just trying to emphasise that he bloody well did love me in the way you see in the truly loved up couples, and I don't appreciate the ignorance of others who assume he did love me that much due to the hooker thing.

 

And Andrew hated how I was in that regard. This is one of the way in which my unresolved issues came to the surface in our relationship.

 

I would mention that he needed to act like he was crazy about me more, if he showed the least bit of... I dunno, being too tired to just go down on me or please me all the time?

 

He said it drove him crazy how I would mentioned to him how he should be more crazy about me, to HIM it was something that he just FELT and tried his best to SHOW to me, and he did not appreciate it at all the times I mentioned how " well, a guy who was totally crazy about his girl would do this and this.

 

The ironic thing is in the end, I knew he was that word about me. Andrew is generally a lazy person, and does not make too much effort with women he is not that into.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, this is the only relationship you've had?

 

Suddenly this thread makes a lot more sense. Also your naivety about what casual sex is, and how you feel it's appropriate to be a c*ck tease.

 

All makes sense...

 

 

 

I have been with a guy for the same amount of time before. Adam. I lived with Adam from age 18 - 21 ish.

 

I thought I was in love with the last guy, the one before Andrew, only to discover that it was not true love at all.

 

My FIRST relationship was built on co dependence and love; it was not being IN love.

 

Andrew has also had on relationship for 3 months before me, and a few girlfriends before that too. Just no girl he was into enough to introduce to his friends or anything.

 

Andrew knows what being in love is. He was a sort of player before me, in that he always kept things casual and preferred to be young and have fun.

 

BEFORE me, Andrew viewed being tied down to one women as a death sentence. In his journal, however, it said: " why is it that the idea of life together with just Leigh is a happy thought, rather than the death sentence I once viewed life long commitment was"

 

He enjoyed the hookers. I can guarantee he would have been fine without them though.

 

You won't change my mind on this matter. I know Andrew and believe I know how he is more than you do.

[aisuru]

I was just trying to emphasise that he bloody well did love me in the way you see in the truly loved up couples, and I don't appreciate the ignorance of others who assume he did love me that much due to the hooker thing.

 

Hi, sleeping girl here...

 

Not once has anybody said, in ignorance or otherwise, that Andrew didn't love you "in his own way" or otherwise.

 

That has never been the point of this thread.

 

You really need to stop blaming other people and stop transposing your feelings on other people.

 

How old are you?

[Leigh 87]

And from what people have advised me on the casual sex option..

 

My best bet for getting me sexual fix between relationships, would not in fact, be in a casual setting that involved on going sexual contact.

 

A fling, a 1 - 3 time fling, with a man I meet would be better. That way there would be no risk of complicating things.

 

I won't be spreading my legs for any guy who wants to have me though, and I will probably only need that sexual release once every couple of months IF that. Probably less often that that even.

 

I have connected with guys at bars and clubs who WERE into me, in a short term immediate attraction type of way; where they were not only attracted to me, but also enjoyed what I had to say.

 

I will just come across guys like that and make it a, you know... one time fling to prevent anything complicated occurring.

 

I do not see anything wrong with the odd fling if a girl is horny and wants to enjoy being sexual.