Start of NC

[aisuru]

So true.

 

They're made for each other. Screw NC, get married, NOW!

 

I just choked on my cocktail. A waste of fine vodka!

[TaraMaiden]

Leigh.... what did I advise about 'brevity and relevance'....?

I am moving on just fine thanks.

 

Fine just like that.

 

I have implemented no contact. Including a facebook block. I cannot be bothered BLOCKING his number, what if his father dies? He does have skin cancer, his dad... I AM going to support him if a close family member of his dies! SHeesh.

 

Ample info, no more required....

 

Why was he so upset about the facebook block, and the whole NC thing?

 

What the hell dis he expect?

 

Again, this is sufficient.

 

See, the more you expand, the less credible you sound....

 

Best keep it brief.....

maybe if you really feel the need to spill so much, you should keep a journal.

But frankly, the more you go on and on about him - the less you move on and on - as you claim to be doing.

 

He's your ex.

He's now History.

he is not relevant in your day-to-day comings and goings.

 

If you really feel you've moved on - quit with the constant analysis and hypothesis.

 

Frankly, I'm a lot more interested in how the dogs are.

 

Period.

[Sheilalou008]

I have implemented no contact. Including a facebook block. I cannot be bothered BLOCKING his number, what if his father dies? He does have skin cancer, his dad... I AM going to support him if a close family member of his dies! SHeesh.

 

In any case: I will not reply to his texts and I have been ignoring them so far. No contact from me.

 

He has gotten the message.

 

He was VERY upset and offended about the facebook block. I mean really, he DOES realise that seeing pictures of me partying overseas WOULD have upset him? He tends to cling to what feels good for the MOMENT, rather than THINKING about the consequences of being "comfortable" ( aka, potentially upsetting pics on facebook for him, and maybe me one day)

 

Last time we saw each other he still talks as though he has not let go of me, and wants me back when I Have been to therapy and blablabla.

 

Whenever I mentioned forever (aka, it will be weird never having sex ever again, or cuddling in bed every again) he was like STOP NO it is NOT forever wa wa waaa boo hoo.

 

I cannot say what I will do in a few months. By then I SHOULD be more or less over him. I don't cry or feel depressed now, 3 weeks post break up.

 

The thing about NC is: by the time he would want me back, I would have moved on anyway. Hence why NC is not for getting your ex back.

 

On the rare occasions the ex comes back begging for another chance with you, you would be OVER it already.

 

I feel sorry for the people on here I read about who are still crying over their ex months and months and even a year or more AFTER the break up. I really do feel for people like that.

 

I cannot see how people can still cry and be depressive and dark about their ex, if they are genuinely living their life to the fullest, and have their friends, career and studies in order, and are physically git and healthy.

 

People need to realise that they are not alone; at least in my case, my ex is hurting a LOT too. It is very hard for both of us.

 

I do not have it as bad as most people anyways... I mean, my ex did not screw me over, leave me for someone else, or fall out of love with me.

 

Yes I Have read his journal and yes I am 100% sure he left because I have issues I need to address.

 

Trust issues is probably one of them.

 

Everyone will lose a parent at one time. I think it is just an excuse incase he changes his mind.

 

And the bolded part was very rude. Everyone processes things differently. I suggest you get off your high horse and come down to earth where the rest of us are. I know you claim you are "over it" and "happy" but continue to post long winded posts about how this man is "so in love with you" and how you can't wait to find a new love. I think you have delusions of grandeur. You are not above anyone here and it is pretty insulting considering that many have had their hearts broken. Do you know what empathy means? I posted to you in your other thread cus I felt bad for you, like I have many others. Now I find myself having a very hard time feeling anything besides irritation and annoyance.

[aisuru]

Don't worry... She already posted this thread in the dating section 2 days ago:

 

Really need advice on casual hook ups

 

She can't breath without Andrew but would rather go screw a million a-holes instead of being alone. That will really help her already low self-worth, self-esteem and self-love.

 

OMG, so funny, cause I just read that thread. But she doesn't want sex. Just the attention.

 

*face smacking desk*

 

I just have no words. Poor Andrew.

 

THERAPY, THERAPY, THERAPY.

[Leigh 87]

I know because he told me all this the last time I saw him. He completely hates the NC, and wanted me to be in his life, until we got back together.

 

 

Regarding the rude remarks I didn't intend to make about other people...

I am upset too, but I mean... I really doubt I will be in months to come.

To me, it just looks like I should have forgotten about him by then, enough to enjoy life without worrying about what he is doing.

I did not mean to insult people - I just mean to say that, I have a good life and therefore I cannot understand why I would be crying every night after MONTHS of NC.

 

My good friend moved on after 3 months, enough to stop crying about her ex, and she soon moved on to her husband. Her ex left her for another women after 15years together.

I prefer to look to her as a role model, albeit I will not move onto another life partner at her speed! I just plan to at least be not... crying regularly after 3 months of NC, and to also have moved on to guys who I have casual fun with, until I find love again one day.

 

I am a happy person. I read books on people who have been through tremendous adversities. I am happy 99% of the time lol. I love life.

Why would I stop my love for life in general, just because I have to alter it now? My life has changed a lot since my ex, as I have had to move home and I do miss my two dogs and HIS two dogs and their new puppies.

 

My life has changed and I need therapy, but is pretty amusing how people "think" that I am a terribly upset person who has nothing going for me in life and needs years of therapy just to be happy, lol.

 

I need therapy to help me in dealing with some areas of life, but that does not mean I am not loving life during the process of therapy? I don't get hat at all.

 

I will have a sad nights, but I am hardly depressed or upset more often than I feel very happy?

I just don't see how a person not wanting me anymore, should make me totally depressive, and thinking that NO ONE will want me?

 

The way I see it, is: one person did not want to be with me, but that does not mean I will not come across another man one day who falls madly in love with me and will be a wonderful partner to me for many years.

 

I do not think I am the likely one to break here. There is a chance he won't be able to maintain NC.

If he does stick to NC, I will figure that his love for me has dissipated enough for him to want to move on, rather than re visit a relationship with me.

[Leigh 87]

Don't worry... She already posted this thread in the dating section 2 days ago:

 

Really need advice on casual hook ups

 

She can't breath without Andrew but would rather go screw a million a-holes instead of being alone. That will really help her already low self-worth, self-esteem and self-love.

 

 

Your a loser.

 

I like myself thanks. I don't like you though.

 

Any one in my life who actually knows me, realises that I like who I am as a person.

 

Everyone can better themselves. But I do fundamentally like who I am.

 

I am sure I can have the occasional hook up with guys who like who I am, and who are also looking for something casual.

 

I am blocking you, your of no use to me. You obvious do not like yourself very much, and have too much time on your hands painting me as a miserable person who hates herself, lol.

 

If you try to comment in my threads again I am reporting you. Your nothing but a miserable troll.

 

You sound like a horrible person:sick:

[aisuru]

 

I am a happy person.

.

 

You don't sound happy.

 

I do not think I am the likely one to break here. There is a chance he won't be able to maintain NC.

 

You're hoping for him to break NC. I guess you will then feel valued and validated?

 

If he does stick to NC, I will figure that his love for me has dissipated enough for him to want to move on, rather than re visit a relationship with me.

 

Exactly.... You are hoping he will come chasing, begging, and pleading. WHY? WHY?

 

AGAIN, I really really wish you could distance yourself and really read what you're writing on here about Andrew over and over and over and over. It's actually kind of depressing.

[Sheilalou008]

Don't worry... She already posted this thread in the dating section 2 days ago:

 

Really need advice on casual hook ups

 

She can't breath without Andrew but would rather go screw a million a-holes instead of being alone. That will really help her already low self-worth, self-esteem and self-love.

 

Wow, a time line on when to have casual sex? I was nowhere near ready at 6 weeks. It just reeks of desperation and insecurity.

[aisuru]

"not loving life during the process of therapy"

 

Who said that? Who said that you have to absolutely hate your life before you go to therapy?

 

You haven't answered anything I've addressed to you either. You're manipulatiuve and you're calculating and you're using NC to try and 'break' Andrew into professing his undying love for you.

 

That's the worst abuse of the process there is.

 

Oh, and re: wanting attention from blokes and no sex? That's called being a c*ck tease. It's very easy to get into all sorts of nasty situations by being a c*ck tease. You shouldn't do that.

 

sitting on the bench with metal_chick...

 

I don't understand why all your self worth is tied up in being with a man, any man, sex or now sex. "OMG, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE..." *sigh*

[Leigh 87]

OMG, so funny, cause I just read that thread. But she doesn't want sex. Just the attention.

 

*face smacking desk*

 

I just have no words. Poor Andrew.

 

THERAPY, THERAPY, THERAPY.

Whatever. You don't know me, or what I want, or what will make me happy.

 

I like being sexual and I don't see anything wrong with women who enjoy casual hook ups while they wait for their next relationship.

 

It is not for attention? I do not comprehend that actually. I have enough people in my daily life who notice me and think highly of me.

 

I just want casual fun. Because I like being sexual with guys.

 

I do not see why that is a difficult concept to understand.

 

Why don't you go for a run or something, instead of hating on other people online, whom you do not actually know>!>??

 

LOL. And don't dare comment in my threads, I am reporting you too.

 

I only need to listen to people who know me well enough and who are positive and uplifting people.

 

I am a positive person, and personally, I prefer to talk about fun things I could be doing with me time, overseas travel, and I like listening to other peoples stories.

 

I do not really have time for people who bring me down by trying to tell me that I am miserable and will have a hopeless life until I get years of therapy.

 

People with mental issues have the capacity to be very happy in life. They just need therapy to deal with relationships and issues in life that arise.

 

goodbye, I recommend you being more positive, and to get to know people before saying such negative things about them.

[TaraMaiden]

You know... I am honestly, truly beginning to wonder whether you are actually capable of being in love, and loving someone at all....

 

Honestly.

I've never experienced anyone come out of a long-term relationship and be talking about just how much her ex-loves her - and yet, be considering how to find a guy that will give her every gratification she wants - but with very little in return.....

 

Leigh, I really, truly think you have a serious issue here.

Seriously - I do.

 

I think you adore being adored, and will cultivate that - but the speed with which you have apparently managed to 'get over' Andrew, leads me to think that you didn't love him at all.... you just loved the feeling of being loved, flattered and worshipped.....because here you are looking for a decent guy - who will give you all the gratification you feel you want - but whom you would rather not become involved with at all... to the point of leaving him sexually frustrated and unfulfilled....??

 

Woman, what is WRONG with you - ?!?

[Leigh 87]

You don't sound happy.

 

 

 

You're hoping for him to break NC. I guess you will then feel valued and validated?

 

 

 

Exactly.... You are hoping he will come chasing, begging, and pleading. WHY? WHY?

 

AGAIN, I really really wish you could distance yourself and really read what you're writing on here about Andrew over and over and over and over. It's actually kind of depressing.

 

 

 

I really do not need to you to approve that I am a happy person. I am trying to help you learn that you cannot always get an accurate impression of a person ONLINE.

 

And of course I hope he breaks NC - it is an ego boost really. Of course if he came running back to me, telling me he is madly in love with me and wants to be with me again, it would be like in the movies.

 

I do realise that this will more than likely NOT happen though, which is why NC will help me move on entirely from that notion.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who once told you how in love he was with you, to come running back to you to COMFIRM he was indeed crazy about you all along and therefore cannot let you go.

 

NC is about acknowledging that second chances RARELY HAPPEN, and to move on to the stage where you no longer CARE.

 

I still wonder about him coming back, but you know, I really believe that sticking NC will help me get past this.

[Leigh 87]

sitting on the bench with metal_chick...

 

I don't understand why all your self worth is tied up in being with a man, any man, sex or now sex. "OMG, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE..." *sigh*

 

 

 

No, I WANT to be alone, until I find the right person.

 

I just want sexual experiences with men BEFORE I find someone new.

 

I enjoy being sexual, and want to still enjoy it without HAVING a man in my life.

 

My self worth is not tied into a man being with me in ANY way.

 

It is the SEXUAL EXPERINCES I am looking forward to.

 

IS that hard to understand?

 

I do not want deep and meaningful ... feelings between any guy I mess around with.

 

It is a thing I used to do years before Andrew: casual relations?

 

Yeah. You ARE alone. You have your friends, your studies or career, and your health and hobbies. You simply enjoy being intimate with men.

[Sheilalou008]

I know because he told me all this the last time I saw him. He completely hates the NC, and wanted me to be in his life, until we got back together.

 

 

Regarding the rude remarks I didn't intend to make about other people...

I am upset too, but I mean... I really doubt I will be in months to come.

To me, it just looks like I should have forgotten about him by then, enough to enjoy life without worrying about what he is doing.

I did not mean to insult people - I just mean to say that, I have a good life and therefore I cannot understand why I would be crying every night after MONTHS of NC.

 

My good friend moved on after 3 months, enough to stop crying about her ex, and she soon moved on to her husband. Her ex left her for another women after 15years together.

I prefer to look to her as a role model, albeit I will not move onto another life partner at her speed! I just plan to at least be not... crying regularly after 3 months of NC, and to also have moved on to guys who I have casual fun with, until I find love again one day.

 

I am a happy person. I read books on people who have been through tremendous adversities. I am happy 99% of the time lol. I love life.

Why would I stop my love for life in general, just because I have to alter it now? My life has changed a lot since my ex, as I have had to move home and I do miss my two dogs and HIS two dogs and their new puppies.

 

My life has changed and I need therapy, but is pretty amusing how people "think" that I am a terribly upset person who has nothing going for me in life and needs years of therapy just to be happy, lol.

 

I need therapy to help me in dealing with some areas of life, but that does not mean I am not loving life during the process of therapy? I don't get hat at all.

 

I will have a sad nights, but I am hardly depressed or upset more often than I feel very happy?

I just don't see how a person not wanting me anymore, should make me totally depressive, and thinking that NO ONE will want me?

 

The way I see it, is: one person did not want to be with me, but that does not mean I will not come across another man one day who falls madly in love with me and will be a wonderful partner to me for many years.

 

I do not think I am the likely one to break here. There is a chance he won't be able to maintain NC.

If he does stick to NC, I will figure that his love for me has dissipated enough for him to want to move on, rather than re visit a relationship with me.

 

 

No one said you have to cry every night to not be over a broken heart. No one said that you have to be totally depressed either, but you can feel it and understand that people process things differently. Just because you think by the end of June that you will be able to have sex or whatever, doesn't mean that you are better.

 

I agree with the other poster who suggested you go through and revisit your previous posts. You do not sound like a person who enjoys life and is happy all the time. It is very dramatic and exhausting to be honest.

 

Again, I agree that you seem to think NC is a game. It reads just like that. I actively worked at my NC but actually DOING things to make my life better, not just talking about them.

 

"if he contacts me, it must mean that he loves me so much" No, men contact cus they are lonely and on the rare occasion do it cus they want you back and want to be with you. This is not the case though. I mean, you do actually read the threads here, right?

 

Just admit that you are not all rainbows and sunshine and are not above anyone here. You are also not the exception to the rule either. Find yourself and forget about Andrew all together. You will do both of you a huge favor. Block him from your phone. I assure you, if his dad dies, you will find out.

[Leigh 87]

I just want casual fun. Because I like being sexual with guys.

 

Nothing wrong with casual sex. As long as all parties are consenting and safe, go for it.

 

But you like being sexual with guys with no sex. That's c*ck teasing. That's not a good thing.

 

 

 

Yeah it probably would be. To be honest I have not thought about it a great deal.

 

Look, I have good friends and family who like me. I am far from lonely, and I want to be SINGLE and emotionally detached from men UNTIL I happen to come across the right one for me.

 

I am capable of having sex with a man once I am very familiar with him, if that makes sense to you? I cannot just do it with a guy I do not... know well, lol.

 

Without getting into deep and meaningful feelings, I would need to talk to the guy and to both like each other and be comfortable enough for me to sleep with them.

 

And I would need one guy for sex... I am not really down for sleeping with multiple guys within months. Just ONE guy that fits the bill, who I can have sex with occasionally would be nice.

 

I much prefer sex in the form of a loving relationship though. We will see if I am interested in going all the way.

 

Otherwise, I suppose I can just have the occasional kiss and touch session every now and again, without the man wanting to continue it with me, due to me being a sock tease and not wanting sex lol.

[TaraMaiden]

No, I WANT to be alone, until I find the right person.

 

I just want sexual experiences with men BEFORE I find someone new.

 

I enjoy being sexual, and want to still enjoy it without HAVING a man in my life.

 

My self worth is not tied into a man being with me in ANY way.

 

It is the SEXUAL EXPERINCES I am looking forward to.

 

IS that hard to understand?

 

Yes.

 

Because it's completely unattainable.

 

There has to be give and take in any situation. And the way you describe things you are all take and no give....

[aisuru]

Whatever. You don't know me, or what I want, or what will make me happy.

 

I like being sexual and I don't see anything wrong with women who enjoy casual hook ups while they wait for their next relationship.

 

It is not for attention? I do not comprehend that actually. I have enough people in my daily life who notice me and think highly of me.

 

I just want casual fun. Because I like being sexual with guys.

 

I do not see why that is a difficult concept to understand.

 

Why don't you go for a run or something, instead of hating on other people online, whom you do not actually know>!>??

 

LOL. And don't dare comment in my threads, I am reporting you too.

 

I only need to listen to people who know me well enough and who are positive and uplifting people.

 

I am a positive person, and personally, I prefer to talk about fun things I could be doing with me time, overseas travel, and I like listening to other peoples stories.

 

I do not really have time for people who bring me down by trying to tell me that I am miserable and will have a hopeless life until I get years of therapy.

 

People with mental issues have the capacity to be very happy in life. They just need therapy to deal with relationships and issues in life that arise.

 

goodbye, I recommend you being more positive, and to get to know people before saying such negative things about them.

 

I ran three miles earlier tonight and had one of my best times ever. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

Hey, I love sex. I have even enjoyed casual sex in the past.

 

However, I really don't believe women are TYPICALLY built for casual sex. We can say we are but I think oftentimes we think it's a way to get a guy to like us. Or a way to bury our pain that we're not with somebody RIGHT NOW.

 

You deserve better. You deserve to figure your **** out.

 

AGAIN, read your million posts with an objective perspective. You're not in a healthy space.

 

Ask me how I know??? Perhaps because I have been there! Albeit, without posting incessantly on a message board about my ex while simultaneously seeking tips for casual sex in another country.

 

*sigh*

 

This is pointless. You know everything.

[aisuru]

Yeah it probably would be. To be honest I have not thought about it a great deal.

 

Look, I have good friends and family who like me. I am far from lonely, and I want to be SINGLE and emotionally detached from men UNTIL I happen to come across the right one for me.

 

I am capable of having sex with a man once I am very familiar with him, if that makes sense to you? I cannot just do it with a guy I do not... know well, lol.

 

Without getting into deep and meaningful feelings, I would need to talk to the guy and to both like each other and be comfortable enough for me to sleep with them.

 

And I would need one guy for sex... I am not really down for sleeping with multiple guys within months. Just ONE guy that fits the bill, who I can have sex with occasionally would be nice.

 

I much prefer sex in the form of a loving relationship though. We will see if I am interested in going all the way.

 

Otherwise, I suppose I can just have the occasional kiss and touch session every now and again, without the man wanting to continue it with me, due to me being a sock tease and not wanting sex lol.

 

You're describing a relationship.

[Leigh 87]

No one said you have to cry every night to not be over a broken heart. No one said that you have to be totally depressed either, but you can feel it and understand that people process things differently. Just because you think by the end of June that you will be able to have sex or whatever, doesn't mean that you are better.

 

I agree with the other poster who suggested you go through and revisit your previous posts. You do not sound like a person who enjoys life and is happy all the time. It is very dramatic and exhausting to be honest.

 

Again, I agree that you seem to think NC is a game. It reads just like that. I actively worked at my NC but actually DOING things to make my life better, not just talking about them.

 

"if he contacts me, it must mean that he loves me so much" No, men contact cus they are lonely and on the rare occasion do it cus they want you back and want to be with you. This is not the case though. I mean, you do actually read the threads here, right?

 

Just admit that you are not all rainbows and sunshine and are not above anyone here. You are also not the exception to the rule either. Find yourself and forget about Andrew all together. You will do both of you a huge favor. Block him from your phone. I assure you, if his dad dies, you will find out.

 

 

I Am not all rainbows or sunshine, and I never said that I was. I have had a very depressing life up until Andrew. He taught me how to be happy, essentially. I was still too stuck in an eating disorder when I met him to truly smell the roses and make friends and get out and make a life for myself.

 

I do not let little things get to me. I accept I will cry over Andrew now and again, but I AM very excited about my daily life in general. I enjoy living without Andrew too, although I still miss him. As he misses me.

 

Since him I no longer care about food (beyond wanting to be youthful, healthy and happy enough to enjoy life to the full), I have friends and some good friends, I have college to think about also... My life has enough IN it for me to be very happy about.

 

Now I really love life and all it has to offer me. That is something Andrew was the catalyst of. Now I am happy after knowing him, without him having to help me reach that point.

 

I AM a happy person though. When I wake up each day I feel joy and contentment that I Am alive and healthy.

 

I really like all that life has to offer me right now. My moods are normally high. I miss Andrew and my dogs though, and I have cried once or twice since him leaving.

[Sheilalou008]

I am not a person who can have sex if my heart and mind is with someone else. It just isn't me. I know there are people who can separate the 2 but being that fresh out of a relationship seems fishy. Don't most follow that route if A) they were never in love. B) need validation.

 

I don't know, but it makes my head hurt.

[aisuru]

it would be like in the movies.

 

You've watched 'The Notebook' a million times, haven't you?!

 

There goes more vodka! And I've read this post like 3 times.

 

HMPH!

[Leigh 87]

You're describing a relationship.

 

 

 

 

I would be happy with a guy who simply likes and respects me as a person.

 

I guess that is the minimum criteria I need in a casual sex buddy, if I am really honest with how I feel.

 

I mean, come on though; I want to at LEAST be able to carry a conversation with him while we begin to watch a movie together, before we jump each other.

[Sheilalou008]

I Am not all rainbows or sunshine, and I never said that I was. I have had a very depressing life up until Andrew. He taught me how to be happy, essentially. I was still too stuck in an eating disorder when I met him to truly smell the roses and make friends and get out and make a life for myself.

 

I do not let little things get to me. I accept I will cry over Andrew now and again, but I AM very excited about my daily life in general. I enjoy living without Andrew too, although I still miss him. As he misses me.

 

Since him I no longer care about food (beyond wanting to be youthful, healthy and happy enough to enjoy life to the full), I have friends and some good friends, I have college to think about also... My life has enough IN it for me to be very happy about.

 

Now I really love life and all it has to offer me. That is something Andrew was the catalyst of. Now I am happy after knowing him, without him having to help me reach that point.

 

I AM a happy person though. When I wake up each day I feel joy and contentment that I Am alive and healthy.

 

I really like all that life has to offer me right now. My moods are normally high. I miss Andrew and my dogs though, and I have cried once or twice since him leaving.

 

You are a better person that I am then.

 

I used myself to make me happy. I didn't put that pressure on anyone else cus I figured it had to come from within. Silly me.

[aisuru]

"I would be happy with a guy who simply likes and respects me as a person."

 

Yet you're ready to take back a bloke who bangs hookers.

 

Awesome.

 

Stop that!

[aisuru]

I would be happy with a guy who simply likes and respects me as a person.

 

I guess that is the minimum criteria I need in a casual sex buddy, if I am really honest with how I feel.

 

I mean, come on though; I want to at LEAST be able to carry a conversation with him while we begin to watch a movie together, before we jump each other.

 

BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT CASUAL SEX BUDDIES DO. NO MOVIES. NO CUDDLING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER.

 

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SEX. THE MORE ADVENTUROUS AND SEXUALLY EXPLORATIVE THE BETTER.

 

You do NOT need a casual sex relationship. It will not feel your void. It will make you feel used and worse about yourself.

 

I beg you... please don't do that to yourself right now. Balance out your emotions and feelings from the breakup. Figure your **** out.

 

You deserve that much self respect.

 

If you don't respect yourself, NO MAN WILL.

 

That's all.