AberecrombieGuy20 Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I'm desperately looking for advice. My Ex Girlfriend "Rita" and I broke up in May. in March, I wrongly cheated on her with a male friend "Tony". It had been tearing me up ever since, and even though we aren't together anymore, I just had to tell her, I did not want any more lies or deception in my life. Rita took it pretty bad...We were together for 3 years, and best friends for 4. I was the first person she ever truly trusted and loved, and I've been feeling torment ever since betraying that last March. After telling her, she took a few days to deal with it, and called me back yesterday, crying on the phone. To make things worse, I'm still friends with Tony, and that just makes it even more awkward. I know I can never fully make things better...but how can I start? What can I do to rebuild our friendship? any advice would be greatly appreciated btw, Rita already knew since before we started dating of the issue of my being bisexual, so that was previous knowledge, and not another shock Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 You broke up in May & tell her 4 months later that you cheated on her while you were together? What on earth for?!? Because of your own guilt? That's your problem to deal with. You shouldn't have laid that on her to appease your own guilty conscience. What can I do to rebuild our friendship? Leave it for her to decide if she wants to rebuild your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AberecrombieGuy20 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 not to appease my own guilty conscience so much, but to do the right thing. I know I should have done the right thing a long ass time ago, but you have to start somewhere, right? She does still want to keep the friendship, and that's a good thing, but i'd like to know if there's anything I can do to help it during the healing proccess? or do I just need time to take it's course? Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Aber- Why did you break up initially if it wasn't for the cheating? This relationship may be one you just have to leave behind. Take the lessons you learned and start fresh w/someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AberecrombieGuy20 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 Our Breakup was the result of us drifting apart..not as friends, but as a couple. I was living in Florida on a college internship for 8 months while she was at home in Illinois. Aside from that, she's said from earlier on that she couldn't really picture herself married to me. A little young to be thinking so far in the future, IMO, but that was one of her reasons. I was a bit hurt, but I respected what she felt she needed to do, and we continued our daily conversations as friends, and the transition from couple back to friendship was quite smooth. You're not the first to advise me to leave this behind....but i still love her (as a friend) and would feel even more horrible for just...ditching her. I hurt her and she's in pain right now, but from what she says, she still wants to continue the friendship, even though it will never be the same. Do you really think ending the friendship is the best route? If we continue to stay friends, do you think this will repeatedly haunt us and hurt us? I want to do the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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