feeling bad abt relationships

[LiNdA cHaN]

I have 10ex bfs before and those who knew this always criticize mi for that.Of coz others might think that i'm not a virgin but the fact is that i'm still one & always be one until the day i got married.Actually i am quite a coonservative person and would not mind wat others said although people might gossip about mi.i feel quite depressed that why i had so many bfs before & yet no1 can be lasting.My longest relationship was about 6mths & the rest were either 1day/1mth/2mths relationship.It is not that i will anyhow go steady wih any1 who woos mi,i did try to chose all of my bfs wisely in the 1st place but knowing them as friends & to go steady with them is 2 different matters.1 question is that are all guys are always so disgusting?Always want petting & touching.Must gals give in to their desires?Maybe a little petting is acceptable but not alot!i'm some1 who prefer kissing & hugging only.Petting is good before sex but not doing for no purpose to only get yrself feeling high rite?All of my exbfs adores mi but becoz of some personal reasons i broke off with them.i am now feeling so tired of guys but i know i can't be single for long.i just broke off with my 10th bf and i really thought that i can have a lasting relationship with him but e couldn't.Now that i have to find another bf is a tough thing.i just feel very tired of starting another relationship but i really used to having a bf & is feeling desperate.Of coz i would not anyhow accept some1 whom i dun like.PLEASE HELP MI

 

From Miserablegal

[michael]

Hi Miserablegal,

 

sorry to hear about the problems you have. i just wanted to answer your question. i don't believe that all guys are so disgusting. i am not. if you have red the other messages than you know that i broke up with my girl-friend. (or better she broke up with me)well, we haven't slept often together, but that hasn't disturbed me. for me it was very important to hold her hand, to hug her and to kiss her. i didn't want to kiss her just to get her ready for bed. no! i just wanted to show her that i lover her and i liked to feel her lips on mine, i liked to saw her closing her eyes when we kissed and sometimes i shut them too to feel the kiss more extensive. for me it is important to find someone who loves me for what i am, and not for a callboy. so keep looking and you will find the one you're searching for.

 

good luck,

 

mike

[Dan]

Miserable gal,

 

I am sorry you have been having such a rough time with this. You have my sympathy (I have had rather sad times myself, as have most people). It is admirable that you want to save your virginity until marriage. Tell me, what are your reasons for this?

 

It is true that not all guys are sex maniacs alone, but if you think about it, I don't see why it should disgust you so much. After all, if one of these past boyfriends considers you attractive and interesting, wouldn't you expect them to desire you sexually? I'm not saying you should give in to them, you should only do what you are comfortable with, but it could be seen as flattering...

 

One thing that worries me about your writing is that you seem very impatient about having a boyfriend. I have been impatient in my life about these things and it has caused me depression. Eventually, I didn't care. Why waste my time worrying about these things. I began keeping myself busy with hobbies, sports, school,etc. and it made my life more stable.

 

You may consider giving yourself a break completely from men for awhile. You might find it relieving. If you find yourself rushing back to a relationship, you may want to think about if you are running away from something at home that's lacking to get it from a man. After all, to enter a healthy relationship, one needs to first love oneself and be mentally stable. So relax, enjoy the possibilites of each new day...

 

Whatever you do, be careful and good luck!

 

Dan