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Funniest Verses In The Bible

M30USA

By M30USA
in Spirituality & Religious Beliefs

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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Here's my latest pick. This one took a minute to visualize, but when I got a picture in my mind, I found it hysterical!

 

JESUS' FAMILY THINKS HE'S GONE CRAZY!

 

"Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” (Mark 3:20, 21 NIV)

 

To think that the family members of God, himself, have to take charge and run after him (God) to try to contain his madness! Lol!

Edited by M30USA
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TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

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They did that kind of stuff and even provoked him...

 

The Visual Bible - Gospel of John - YouTube

 

I love Jesus' response..."my time has not yet full come". A few times in life God has given me a vision and I have told no one, b/c it would just get criticized. Some visions are just between you and God. If you do confide, and someone tries to discourage, I think of this saying from Jesus. :)

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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I always tried to imagine myself in Peter's shoes.

 

HIM? Heck no, I don't know him. Jeez...

 

{crow} oh crap. :(

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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I guess I should have said that I always tried to imagine myself in his sandals. :D

 

I always liked it when as a boy, he was messing with scholars at the temple.

 

Then he gives a smart-ass response to his parents when they said they had been looking for him. I could imagine my mother's response. "You just come down from your high horse mister!!! We've been looking for days! Son of God or not, you're grounded!!!!!!"

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pie2 Established Member

pie2

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:lmao:

 

I LOVE this! I'm cracking up :laugh:!!

 

I love when Jesus heals people and tells them not to say a word...and they run around blabbing it all over the place, heehee :D.

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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I guess I should have said that I always tried to imagine myself in his sandals. :D

 

I always liked it when as a boy, he was messing with scholars at the temple.

 

Then he gives a smart-ass response to his parents when they said they had been looking for him. I could imagine my mother's response. "You just come down from your high horse mister!!! We've been looking for days! Son of God or not, you're grounded!!!!!!"

 

Lol!

 

Or what about the time at the wedding of Cana when the wine ran out and Mary, his mom, asks Jesus to help fix the apparently petty problem and Jesus said, "Woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come."

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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:lmao:

 

I LOVE this! I'm cracking up :laugh:!!

 

I love when Jesus heals people and tells them not to say a word...and they run around blabbing it all over the place, heehee :D.

 

Yea! Did you notice that sometimes Jesus told them they SHOULD tell people of their healing, and other times he said they SHOULDN'T? Very bizarre. I believe this is an example of the precise, micro-plan of God at the time. In other words, it had to be done exactly a certain way at that exact time.

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pie2 Established Member

pie2

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Yea! Did you notice that sometimes Jesus told them they SHOULD tell people of their healing, and other times he said they SHOULDN'T? Very bizarre. I believe this is an example of the precise, micro-plan of God at the time. In other words, it had to be done exactly a certain way at that exact time.

 

Totally! A plan beyond our comprehension.

 

Also, it's nice to remember that sometimes opening my big mouth is all just a part of God's plan. :)

johan Established Member

johan

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God almost certainly has no sense of humor. If you're laughing at the Bible you're either not really getting it, or you've been reading it too much.

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Lol!

 

Or what about the time at the wedding of Cana when the wine ran out and Mary, his mom, asks Jesus to help fix the apparently petty problem and Jesus said, "Woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come."

 

Yes, silly woman.

 

Alright alright already, I made some booze for the guests, okay?

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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God almost certainly has no sense of humor. If you're laughing at the Bible you're either not really getting it, or you've been reading it too much.

 

He said to be like children, right? Who is more full of laughter?

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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Yes, silly woman.

 

Alright alright already, I made some booze for the guests, okay?

 

It was some pretty high-quality booze, too.

 

“Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you [Jesus] have saved the best till now.” (John 2:10 NIV)

 

That verse is highly prophetic and can represent everything from his later miracles, to his resurrection, to his second coming.

johan Established Member

johan

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He said to be like children, right? Who is more full of laughter?

 

That is evidence God has a sense of humor?

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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That is evidence God has a sense of humor?

 

What about the logic escapes you? He wants us to be like children, right? That means being happy and full of laughter, right?

 

We are made in his image, right?

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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That is evidence God has a sense of humor?

 

Here is evidence that God has a sense of humor:

 

A = [(r/t) + 2x] + yx

 

You won't find what you're looking for here. Please stop trolling.

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johan Established Member

johan

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What about the logic escapes you? He wants us to be like children, right? That means being happy and full of laughter, right?

 

We are made in his image, right?

 

Sorry. I've been directed to only post in a way that pleases the OP. I'll have to keep my intolerable opinion to myself. And I suppose I'll also have to agree with you, although I happen to think it's more likely we created God in our image. (Oops.)

pie2 Established Member

pie2

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God almost certainly has no sense of humor.

 

Almost certainly you say...but you admit that there's still the chance that God chuckles at us every once in awhile :).

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Here is evidence that God has a sense of humor:

 

A = [(r/t) + 2x] + yx

 

You won't find what you're looking for here. Please stop trolling.

 

That is funny. You don't need the brackets and you can combine the x's! Good one. :D

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Sorry. I've been directed to only post in a way that pleases the OP. I'll have to keep my intolerable opinion to myself. And I suppose I'll also have to agree with you, although I happen to think it's more likely we created God in our image. (Oops.)

 

Like Jesus always said, when in Rome, do as the Romans do... :D

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Okay, just being silly but something comes to mind that is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

 

The History of the World - Moses

 

I give you fifteen {drops and breaks one of three tablets}... uh, ten commandments!

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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That is funny. You don't need the brackets and you can combine the x's! Good one. :D

 

Yea, thought I put a division sign on that last one, lol. Nice catch.

TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

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God almost certainly has no sense of humor. If you're laughing at the Bible you're either not really getting it, or you've been reading it too much.

 

"The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them."

 

God apparently gets a chuckle out of humans that he created trying to teach him, instruct him, offer him tips, and pretend they can usurp him...one fella already tried that...(Lucifer).

 

But you laugh at them, LORD; you scoff at all those nations.

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Eve Established Member

Eve

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Exodus 14:25

 

He twisted their chariot wheels, making their chariots difficult to drive. "Let's get out of here--away from these Israelites!" the Egyptians shouted. "The LORD is fighting for them against Egypt!"

 

:lmao: Such a simple intervention. I can just imagine the army of Egyptians crapping themselves as they tried (in all their bravado and regailia) to steer their chariots.

 

Take care,

Eve x

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pureinheart Established Member

pureinheart

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I guess I should have said that I always tried to imagine myself in his sandals. :D

 

I always liked it when as a boy, he was messing with scholars at the temple.

 

Then he gives a smart-ass response to his parents when they said they had been looking for him. I could imagine my mother's response. "You just come down from your high horse mister!!! We've been looking for days! Son of God or not, you're grounded!!!!!!"

 

This is too good!

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M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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Posted (edited)

Another funny one:

 

"He [Jesus] kept saying, 'I am the man.'" (John 9:9 ESV)

 

He da MAN!

Edited by M30USA
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