Some 'sticky' obessive thoughts...what now?

[Thinkalot]

To treat my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I have been having CBT and also taking medication (currently Luvox).

 

I stopped the CBT quite some time ago, after my psych said he thought I was doing much better, and could just keep following the things I'd learnt at home.

 

Owing to the cost, I was more than happy to follow that advice.

 

I am at a stage now, where compared to where I used to be, I am MUCH better. I am able to employ the techniques I've been taught.

 

However, obsessive thoughts still do intrude, albeit with less force. And there are a few particular subjects which remain quite bad for me. I have learnt to ignore them as best as possible. However if there is a trigger, they come in quite strongly.

 

I am now wondering if I should return to therapy for a while, and focus on these particular areas. Unlike other obsessions, these haven't shifted around...they remain constant pains in the butt.

 

I must admit, to my embarrasment, that one of them is the fact that my fiance first had sex in high school with his ex-wife, when they were 15 and 16. I was quite religious back then...and did not lose my virginity till I was nearly 22. In fact, our entire school experiences are were very different...me very serious, academic, focussed, driven, and ambitious, and well...straight! Him laid back, fun loving, not very academic, and of course...having sex.

 

Any normal person would not be bothered by this any more. My fiance has only had a few sexual partners in his life, and is very moralistic. It was also a LONG time ago. Besides, we each made choices which suited us at the time, which is as it should be. I know all the rational arguments. But of course, my obssesive thoughts are NOT rational.

 

This particular obsession strikes if I happen to see teenagers kissing, if I have a news story to do in a high school, and see young couples etc. Then I end up feeling sick, visualising my fiance having sex with his ex...etc etc. VERY unhealthy. Not something I wish to still be dealing with either, when we have our own kids.

 

I know the usual tactic is to attack the overall obsessive problem, rather than a specific issue...but as this is so recurring and constant, I am wondering if I should head back for some more therapy, and focus on working through my issues with this.

[Merin]

I think that knowing what the issue is, is a great place to start... obviously you already know what you need to work throu... so I don't see any reason not to return for some therapy if you feel it may help you find some resolution or peace of mind:)

[pav186]

Hey thinkalot!

 

You're making progress and thats the most important thing. The triggers are difficult because you've put such an emphasis on it for so long that its just ingrained (sp?) in your head to respond a certain way to that stimulus. But this is all stuff that you and I know.

 

Although I am doing much better too, most days its on my mind maybe 15 mins as opposed to hours and hours back in Feb-April. For me its still the same triggers, the states name where it happened, anytime i hear someone talking about virginity, the guys name, hell even the record store Virgin makes me think about it. But i just try to see the stimulus and incorporate it as something so completely unrelated to anything thats its just ridiculous. Theres actually a song out right now that makes it kinda bad cuz she describes losing her virginity a little bit so I cant really listen to it (White Houses by Vanessa Carelton) and I know its dumb so no one make fun of me

 

 

Actually now that I think about it, it is really a lot better than it was. I may have fleeting thoughts but theyre not really on a repetitive loop and no real visuals or images...so i suppose thats good.

 

Anyways, good luck

 

Pav

[Thinkalot]

Thanks to you both.

 

Pav... me too.... SO much better than I was late last year for example. And just the odd trigger setting off the obsession mentioned above. I get over it much quicker when it hits too.

 

But, I think I will book in for a few sessions and see what I can do to make things even better!

 

Good luck and best wishes to you too.

[loveregardless]

I am having a particularly hard time with thoughts of the same sort lately...well not lately..its been a persistent probelm for some time, but this week has been pretty bad. I just try to sing or make up poems in my head or otherwise distract my mind enough for me to loose concentration on the obsessive thought...stare at the sky, twiddle my thumbs, whatever it takes. sometimes they just "hit' me out of nowhere with such extreme visuals that my head actually shakes or my whole body jolts... certain roads, certains songs, names and words..certain people espeically cause me to have these attacks. My boyfreind has been very supportive but it actually worsens the situation to have him coddle me at the time...I don't want to acknowledge the thoughts and having him comfort me is definetely acknowleding them. Its rough...(sigh)

Good luck to you guys though...by the way, I don't think that therapy is ever a bad thing or a bad idea, it is always good to have someone to talk to and someone to give you objective pointers/tips/helpful information. I am not on any medications and haven't been for about two years...every day is a struggle, but its worth it... and don't ever forget that your not alone.

[savethedrama4allama]

Hi Thinkalot,

 

Lately I've been having bad thoughts too. Its a lethal mix of being given a good reason to be insecure (being lied to months ago) plus my own inability to let it go. I am sure you've heard my constant complaints about my boyfriend's ex who has dependent personality disorder along with some other mood disorders that make her angry, spiteful, yet dependent...and after over 1.5 years of being broken up, she is still trying to contact him. Now I am her source of hatred because she thinks that I am the cause of him ignoring her. She quit counseling and stopped taking her meds years ago even though she needs them.

 

I just want to say that I can identify with you, as I have my own obsessive thoughts myself. If I see the hospital where she was when he visited her and covered it up; if I hear anything about her school or church where they went together, etc, it is like a stab in the gut. I also think that her obsessive nature has fueled me.

 

I guess I want to say, thank you for taking responsibility and control of your issues. This is for two reasons. One, it gives everyone else here courage to admit we have the same thoughts when they are pretty taboo in our society, as well as the hope that these thought patterns can be changed. Two, my boyfriend's ex would rather make our lives hell than admit she has a problem and resume her treatment. So it is apparent to me that you are a caring and giving person that you are willing to work toward a healthier relationship with your boyfriend (and yourself.)

 

-savethedrama

[NatoPMT]

Hi Thinkalot

 

I wish i could make some sensible suggestions but i am always concerned i may give bad advice to you.

 

I also get thoughts like that - mine are particularly bad at the moment as i am going on holiday with my bf to a country he went to with his ex. I deal with it by recognising the thoughts as soon as they come into my head as non constructive and actively saying 'no' to myself then distraction - calling a friend, something totally not to do with the issue at hand - not even giving it the time of day so to speak. The distraction has to be something that i cant think during, so taking a walk would just allow me to think about it further.

 

Rich coming from me as i have my other thread going on right next door to this one on my anxiety about the future. That said, i feel i cant distract myself from that as i need to know whats causing it.

 

BB

[meanon]

It certainly won't hurt to have more therapy, Thinkalot. I'd give it a try.

 

You may find that longer at the right dose of the meds will help too. I hope you've got that sorted now, if not then you may need to increase the dose to get on top of those thoughts and then reduce it gradually later - with your doctors input of course as it needs to be done under supervision.

 

You're almost there . The experience of others is that the meds need to be right to banish the thoughts completely. There's often also a kind of leap of faith towards the end when it all comes together and you just need to believe that it's within your power not to act on the thoughts, even if you have them. Having spent so long at the mercy of them with little control, that's a hard final step to make. Once people make it, the thoughts often gradually recede. It's the acting on them and the rumminating about them that makes them stick.

[loveregardless]

so heavily meanon is not healthy and unless the intent is to stay on the meds forever will not put an end to the problem, only therapy and behavioral modification as well as intense soul searching and self discovery will yeild such results. (yoga, meditating, etc. etc.) People need to be their own therapists as well, you are the only person who knows you like you do. and you are the only person who can fix yourself.

[mr wonderful]

Hi thinksalot, I too have a simlar problem. Is there any advise you can give to someone to help them start the process? I mean I think all the time about things and it takes the smallest thing to get me thinking. I really could use some help, it's nice to know that I am not the only person for who this is a problem. My SO says I need to just let things go but it's just not that easy. I realise there are alot bigger problems in the world. I just would like some advice... thanks

[Thinkalot]

Firstly...thanks everyone for the support and wise and kind words, as usual.

 

I am going to book back in and see the therapist...a refresher won't do me any harm.

 

Meanon- I am on a higher dose than a was some weeks back, when things took a downturn...and that has definately calmed things back down a lot. I am not on the highest dose however. I am fairly reluctant for some reason , to up the dose.

I know what you are saying about the ruminating, making them stick. I am going to try and arm myself with a whole new association with high schools, for example, so that I don't automatically start thinking about my fiance and his ex !!

 

Mr Wonderful- I would suggest you book in to see a therapist and talk about this. You may be able to work through it with therapy alone, or you may need to go on medication for a short while. I was very hesitant at the start to take anything, but it has helped me so much in overcoming this. Best luck. Feel free to ask anything else, and I will try and help.

[moimeme]

I am not on the highest dose however. I am fairly reluctant for some reason , to up the dose.

 

But if the higher dose will finally 'unstick' the last of the sticky thoughts and leave you free to learn how it is to live without them and to learn how to live without them, why not?

[Thinkalot]

Merry...must you always speak sense?

[moimeme]

Sorry! Drives people right up a wall, I know. If it helps at all, I get practice by talking sense to myself. If you think I have a lot of it, it's because I had to do a lot of talking to me!

[Thinkalot]

Well this discussion has prompted me to make an appointment with my doc for another check up and chat about the meds.

[Thinkalot]

Bye the way Merry...is that your toned back dancing in your new avatar?

[moimeme]

Sure, yeah - and I turned redhead, too The back's not far off mine, mind you

[Thinkalot]

LOL! Good to know you don't have any body image problems

[mr wonderful]

Hey thinksalot, my SO asked me a question last night. She said that I am looking to deep into it, is that a sign of being obsessive? If not the fact that I am still thinking about it probably does. LOL