My Girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me

[Sandz]

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, when we first started going out it was an on off relationship but after the first year we started to get serious and I've genuinely fell in love with her. I recently found out she cheated on me with her ex within the first year we were going out not once but 4 times one time just after our first valentines day. Her ex has always tried to keep in touch with her by txt and phone and she's been saying she's not interested in knowing him and she doesn't maintain contact. I recently found out she had been texting him but just casually, and she wanted to meet up with him for the last time. When I checked her phone again she had deleted the messages. I confronted her and she revealed all (so she says) and shes been really apologetic about it and saying she's gonna prove herself to me and gonna make this relationship work. She says I mean the world to her and she would kill herself if I ever left her. I really don't know what to do, she says since we've been serious she hasn't slept with anyone else or her ex but I just can't believe her and I'm struggling to let go of her. Please help I need advice my mind is telling me to leave but my heart is saying stay and work it out. HELP

[CarrieT]

Dump her.

 

She's not worth it and if you honestly believe she will attempt to kill herself, call 911. Three days in a psych ward will fix most anyone who is just using ploys like that to manipulate people.

[ChessPieceFace]

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, when we first started going out it was an on off relationship but after the first year we started to get serious and I've genuinely fell in love with her. I recently found out she cheated on me with her ex within the first year we were going out not once but 4 times one time just after our first valentines day.

 

The bold text is the text proving why you should immediately end this relationship. The relationship was in fact over the first time she cheated, you just didn't realize it until now.

 

Her supposed threats are typical manipulative behavior of sociopaths and cheaters.

[BeholdtheMan]

I recently found out she cheated on me with her ex within the first year we were going out not once but 4 times one time just after our first valentines day.

How extremely sleazy and disrespectful...ugh

 

Come on, time to leave

 

I recently found out she had been texting him but just casually, and she wanted to meet up with him for the last time. When I checked her phone again she had deleted the messages. I confronted her and she revealed all (so she says)

She's only being honest with you when you force her into a corner...chances are you don't know the whole truth

 

She says I mean the world to her and she would kill herself if I ever left her.

Say "I'm leaving you" and see if she kills herself. She probably won't. More likely, she'll run off to her ex for some comfort sex

 

On a more serious note, she's blatantly trying to manipulate you. Don't be a fool and fall for it

 

I'm struggling to let go of her.

Don't struggle, just man up and do it. Trust me, you'll feel much better once you dump her and find someone who won't cheat on you 4 times on your first Valentine's Day

 

my mind is telling me to leave but my heart is saying stay and work it out. HELP

Brother, your mind is right! Listen to it. Your mind is urging you to make the strong, self-respecting decision. Your heart is urging you to make a weak, desperate decision.

[therhythm]

Dump her.

 

She's not worth it and if you honestly believe she will attempt to kill herself, call 911. Three days in a psych ward will fix most anyone who is just using ploys like that to manipulate people.

 

You won't get any better advise than the above one.

Dump her and be happy you found out now you are still young!

[Darren Steez]

There is no "casual" texting someone you had sex with while cheating on your partner. It's called fishing, most likely she was ready to do it again before she got caught. It doesn't take a whole lot of flirting and work if both parties know what they want..if not now then it will be sometime in the future. But I can tell by your post, you've already taken her back. Good luck with that.

[sayyes19]

There is no "casual" texting someone you had sex with while cheating on your partner. It's called fishing, most likely she was ready to do it again before she got caught. It doesn't take a whole lot of flirting and work if both parties know what they want..if not now then it will be sometime in the future. But I can tell by your post, you've already taken her back. Good luck with that.

 

Please don't take this girl back. She doesn't deserve it. Eventually she will leave you and make other guys go mad. It's better that she gets her realization now.

[LSTom]

If you take her back, you'll only have yourself to blame. There's no way someone can love you and do those things she did to you.

 

Unlike the other poster, I would not call 911 and do the world a favor.

[road]

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, when we first started going out it was an on off relationship but after the first year we started to get serious and I've genuinely fell in love with her. I recently found out she cheated on me with her ex within the first year we were going out not once but 4 times one time just after our first valentines day. Her ex has always tried to keep in touch with her by txt and phone and she's been saying she's not interested in knowing him and she doesn't maintain contact. I recently found out she had been texting him but just casually, and she wanted to meet up with him for the last time. When I checked her phone again she had deleted the messages. I confronted her and she revealed all (so she says) and shes been really apologetic about it and saying she's gonna prove herself to me and gonna make this relationship work. She says I mean the world to her and she would kill herself if I ever left her. I really don't know what to do, she says since we've been serious she hasn't slept with anyone else or her ex but I just can't believe her and I'm struggling to let go of her. Please help I need advice my mind is telling me to leave but my heart is saying stay and work it out. HELP

 

Dating is the job interview for marriage. She failed. Dump. Repeat. Until you find the right one.

[crederer]

She probably has some serious emotional issues to do that. I had an ex that did that to me too. Who knows what she actually did but there were 3 times that I know of. She threatened to kill herself if I left. I did, she's still alive.

 

I have sex with her sometimes when I strike out at the bar. I know it's hard on her emotionally but I don't care. Easy piece for me when I need it and she totally deserves it. That makes me sound like an A hole but ef it.