Are drunken words really sober thoughts?

[Jay15]

Ex gf calls couple weeks ago, said "I love you, I miss you, do me you miss and do you ever think we ever get back together". We broke up 4 months ago, little contacts and busy with school I didn't say it back to her and told her I don't want to think about it. I was wondering on people opinions on drunk calls.. are they sober thoughts or not.

[carhill]

Emotion talking without the benefit of intellect.

 

If I had a nickel for every woman who told me she loved me while inebriated....

[BustedUpInside]

Well, as a woman who has been drunk before, I can tell you that for me, it is probably both true and false words from your ex.

 

She probably does occasionally have doubts about the break up and she probably does still have feelings of love for you, but the problem is that drunk talk is not the same as sober for a variety of reasons.

 

Think about the things you have said or thought while inebriated. While not necessarily changing your mind the next day, you definitely have to acknowledge that the thoughts may have been exaggerated or not thought out rationally.

 

I would just forget that she said it. If she can't say it again in the cold light of day then it is not worth dwelling on.

[Leigh 87]

For me they are.

 

I drunk for the first time last night, and I went from totally happy and moving on with my life and enjoying no contact - to contacting him and telling him that I miss him and am so sad.

 

Drunk thoughts are more honest to me than sober ones, at times. I mean, without drinking and with NC, I am actually just as happy as I was when we were together. It is ONLY when I drunk a little, that I cried and remembers how much I love him still.

 

Oh well. Back to NC.

[Leigh 87]

To be honest though, 4 months is a fair amount of time to move on.

 

If she is drunk texting you, then she has issues. I know of a women who's 15 year, long term partner left her for another women. She was DEVASTATED.

 

...After 3 months she woke up and realised she could think about other men again.

 

Not long after, she met her husband.

 

SO....... while alcohol can bring up sad emotions regarding a break up initially, I think after 4 months, healthy and happy person who are truly working on themselves, as I am trying to right now, SHOULDNT be drunk texting their ex.

 

If I were you, I would have texted back one thing to her : " look, I wish you well, however; you need to move on. It has been for months, and we need to continue no contact. Please move on with your life"

 

Although the smarter people on here will probably urge you to not contact her back AT ALL again.

 

I am just a softy and would be concerned if my ex is still pining over me in months to come...

[soccerrprp]

Ex gf calls couple weeks ago, said "I love you, I miss you, do me you miss and do you ever think we ever get back together". We broke up 4 months ago, little contacts and busy with school I didn't say it back to her and told her I don't want to think about it. I was wondering on people opinions on drunk calls.. are they sober thoughts or not.

 

I tend to believe that words uttered while under the influence are typically what the person truly feels, but has been repressing them. Alcohol allows us to be uninhibited, or less inhibited. I also believe that after a certain point of inebriation, I mean, full-whacked drunk, that your guess is good as anyone else's. Way too unpredictable with that much alcohol in the system. Different for different people, of course, but those are my thoughts.

[Jay15]

THanks for the opinions

[Jay15]

To be honest though, 4 months is a fair amount of time to move on.

 

If she is drunk texting you, then she has issues. I know of a women who's 15 year, long term partner left her for another women. She was DEVASTATED.

 

...After 3 months she woke up and realised she could think about other men again.

 

Not long after, she met her husband.

 

SO....... while alcohol can bring up sad emotions regarding a break up initially, I think after 4 months, healthy and happy person who are truly working on themselves, as I am trying to right now, SHOULDNT be drunk texting their ex.

 

If I were you, I would have texted back one thing to her : " look, I wish you well, however; you need to move on. It has been for months, and we need to continue no contact. Please move on with your life"

 

Although the smarter people on here will probably urge you to not contact her back AT ALL again.

 

I am just a softy and would be concerned if my ex is still pining over me in months to come...

 

 

we kept in touch on and off. I guess we stay as friends after the break up.

[Jay15]

To be honest though, 4 months is a fair amount of time to move on.

 

If she is drunk texting you, then she has issues. I know of a women who's 15 year, long term partner left her for another women. She was DEVASTATED.

 

...After 3 months she woke up and realised she could think about other men again.

 

Not long after, she met her husband.

 

SO....... while alcohol can bring up sad emotions regarding a break up initially, I think after 4 months, healthy and happy person who are truly working on themselves, as I am trying to right now, SHOULDNT be drunk texting their ex.

 

If I were you, I would have texted back one thing to her : " look, I wish you well, however; you need to move on. It has been for months, and we need to continue no contact. Please move on with your life"

 

Although the smarter people on here will probably urge you to not contact her back AT ALL again.

 

I am just a softy and would be concerned if my ex is still pining over me in months to come...

 

 

How was the called/text last night go? May I ask

[Leigh 87]

It goes good at first with my ex. He is always just as happy to hear from me, the same way he loved hearing from me before, in a relationship with him.

 

It is good that he is still too into me to move on at all, yet it does have setbacks: when we talk, he still loves me yet he does not want me in a committed R.

 

He makes me feel wanted, I can tell he still loves me the same way: yet he does not want me in a R.

 

It is a very confusing thing to experience!

 

Of course he was happy to hear from me, so it went well in that regard; until I cried because I had a bit to drink and realised that I cannot truly have him in all ways, so I would rather not bloody talk to him at all, haha.

 

What did the girl say to you? Did you two still love each other when you broke up?

 

I mean, months after a break up, the other person should KNOW if they want you back. If she is not desperately in love with you and wanting you back NOW, she most likely never will want you back.

 

If I was in your position, I would have perhaps texted back something like " unless your very sure that you want me back in a relationship, please stop contacting me just because you miss me. Either move on from me, or leave me alone"

[Skipper888]

well my ex broke up with me 4 months ago. Said she was confused about me and another guy. Well didnt hear much from her in the first month except breadcrumbs, then after her birthday i would get drunk phone calls and msges for about 2 months we saw eachother a couple of times like we were together then something changed she kind of stopped, i was shattered cause i was like wtf i thought we were happy again and about yo get back together.. then she said we should go our seperste ways and be over forever.

 

Havent heard from her in 9 days ( .. she must really be sure this time. ( i keep hoping she will come back but i sont think she will

[Jay15]

It goes good at first with my ex. He is always just as happy to hear from me, the same way he loved hearing from me before, in a relationship with him.

 

It is good that he is still too into me to move on at all, yet it does have setbacks: when we talk, he still loves me yet he does not want me in a committed R.

 

He makes me feel wanted, I can tell he still loves me the same way: yet he does not want me in a R.

 

It is a very confusing thing to experience!

 

Of course he was happy to hear from me, so it went well in that regard; until I cried because I had a bit to drink and realised that I cannot truly have him in all ways, so I would rather not bloody talk to him at all, haha.

 

What did the girl say to you? Did you two still love each other when you broke up?

 

I mean, months after a break up, the other person should KNOW if they want you back. If she is not desperately in love with you and wanting you back NOW, she most likely never will want you back.

 

If I was in your position, I would have perhaps texted back something like " unless your very sure that you want me back in a relationship, please stop contacting me just because you miss me. Either move on from me, or leave me alone"

 

Wow, I'm some what in the same situation as you, but she drunk dial me.We dated for 4.5 years. She broke up with me, because she said she lost romantic feelings. We kept in contact after the break.(which I regret) She love and cares for me, but she said she doesn't want to and that love isn't that strong. She doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. I still love her after the break up, but I'm not sure about her feelings. She seems confused with her feelings about me at the moment. I feel you on the confusing experiences. She said "I love you, I miss you, do me you miss and do you ever think we ever get back together". Also, questioning me like " Do you love me or miss me?" I wanted to say yes, but I didn't respond to any of them. Then she got upset and said "you hate me". I just said no I don't. She said "you must feel special for me saying this to you". I was some what happy that she said that, but it hurts in a way because we are not together. We don't text to each other, she prefer to call me then texting. Sorry if some of the sentence doesn't sense. I'm not good at explaining haha

[Jay15]

well my ex broke up with me 4 months ago. Said she was confused about me and another guy. Well didnt hear much from her in the first month except breadcrumbs, then after her birthday i would get drunk phone calls and msges for about 2 months we saw eachother a couple of times like we were together then something changed she kind of stopped, i was shattered cause i was like wtf i thought we were happy again and about yo get back together.. then she said we should go our seperste ways and be over forever.

 

Havent heard from her in 9 days ( .. she must really be sure this time. ( i keep hoping she will come back but i sont think she will

 

 

Seems like she misses the times she had with you, but yet she's giving mix signals. Leading you on You deserve better, especially she was confused with you and another guy. I would not go back to my ex if she's dating another guy. Try to focus on yourself. I've been going to the gym and playing sports with my buddies to keep her off my mind. Stay strong

[Skipper888]

yeah i wouldnt take her back. But want her to try but she doesnt even care anymore. Hope she never finds happiness, know thats means but yeah i didnt deserve this i loved that girl so much

[Leigh 87]

Wow, I'm some what in the same situation as you, but she drunk dial me.We dated for 4.5 years. She broke up with me, because she said she lost romantic feelings. We kept in contact after the break.(which I regret) She love and cares for me, but she said she doesn't want to and that love isn't that strong. She doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. I still love her after the break up, but I'm not sure about her feelings. She seems confused with her feelings about me at the moment. I feel you on the confusing experiences. She said "I love you, I miss you, do me you miss and do you ever think we ever get back together". Also, questioning me like " Do you love me or miss me?" I wanted to say yes, but I didn't respond to any of them. Then she got upset and said "you hate me". I just said no I don't. She said "you must feel special for me saying this to you". I was some what happy that she said that, but it hurts in a way because we are not together. We don't text to each other, she prefer to call me then texting. Sorry if some of the sentence doesn't sense. I'm not good at explaining haha

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah it will always feel good when they initiate contact with us, and say they miss us... Because we love them and it feels good when the person we love so much, shows signs that they care about us and are thinking about us.

 

Just know that they left us, so until they declare that they are madly in love with us and want to be with us again, that they simply just miss us, and do not want to be with us anymore.

 

It is cruel of them to throw us bread crumbs. Of course they miss us - after years together, it is natural to miss a person. They were a huge part of our lives.

 

It is very normal for your ex to miss you very much, yet without wanting to be with you romantically again. Ever.

 

WELL DONE for not biting her bait. She wanted a response from you. She wanted to feel that you love and miss her still. She gets off on that.

 

Just let her be. She is just bored in her own life and is not moving onto someone better than you, so she is using you and messing with your emotions.

 

She is not trying to be selfish or mean, but her actions are indeed selfish and inflict harm on you! She does not want you back and lost feelings for you, so making that sort of contact to you only gives you FALSE hope.

 

Please keep being strong and ignore her!

 

It is for the best.

 

One day you will find a person who loves and adores you, who will stay with you in a relationship.

 

The more you talk to this girl and feed her need to know that you still care about her, the longer it will take you to get over her.

 

I know it is hard. My ex tells me he loves and misses me too.

[aisuru]

I tend to believe that words uttered while under the influence are typically what the person truly feels, but has been repressing them. Alcohol allows us to be uninhibited, or less inhibited. I also believe that after a certain point of inebriation, I mean, full-whacked drunk, that your guess is good as anyone else's. Way too unpredictable with that much alcohol in the system. Different for different people, of course, but those are my thoughts.

 

For me my drunk words are my sober thoughts.

 

So when I told my ex (before we broke up)that I felt like we didn't know each other, I truly felt that way....

 

Last week (6months lost break up) i drunkenly texted that I missed him and wished we could talk, I meant it.

 

Alcohol allows me to let my guard down and say what I am thinking. I need to learn how to embrace those thoughts and feelings when sober so I can share them appropriately with positive actions and effect. But I generally hide my emotions in alcohol...

 

Just got home after a few drinks and am thinking about him more than when sober earlier during the day. I do miss him. I wish it worked out. I know why it didn't work out. Meh.

[Jay15]

yeah i wouldnt take her back. But want her to try but she doesnt even care anymore. Hope she never finds happiness, know thats means but yeah i didnt deserve this i loved that girl so much

 

I feel the same way about her never finding happiness. I thought getting revenge, but in reality I wouldn't do or say it

[skydiveaddict]

I was wondering on people opinions on drunk calls.. are they sober thoughts or not.

 

He who sins when drunk shall be punished when sober.

[aisuru]

 

Last week (6months lost break up) i drunkenly texted that I missed him and wished we could talk, I meant it.

 

WHOOPS, I meant 6 weeks post break up! Which was 2 weeks after I saw him last. You can dig through my posts to see my very long story to understand.

 

But yes, my drunk words are typically a mumbo jumbo mix of my sober thoughts.

[Jay15]

Yeah it will always feel good when they initiate contact with us, and say they miss us... Because we love them and it feels good when the person we love so much, shows signs that they care about us and are thinking about us.

 

Just know that they left us, so until they declare that they are madly in love with us and want to be with us again, that they simply just miss us, and do not want to be with us anymore.

 

It is cruel of them to throw us bread crumbs. Of course they miss us - after years together, it is natural to miss a person. They were a huge part of our lives.

 

It is very normal for your ex to miss you very much, yet without wanting to be with you romantically again. Ever.

 

WELL DONE for not biting her bait. She wanted a response from you. She wanted to feel that you love and miss her still. She gets off on that.

 

Just let her be. She is just bored in her own life and is not moving onto someone better than you, so she is using you and messing with your emotions.

 

She is not trying to be selfish or mean, but her actions are indeed selfish and inflict harm on you! She does not want you back and lost feelings for you, so making that sort of contact to you only gives you FALSE hope.

 

Please keep being strong and ignore her!

 

It is for the best.

 

One day you will find a person who loves and adores you, who will stay with you in a relationship.

 

The more you talk to this girl and feed her need to know that you still care about her, the longer it will take you to get over her.

 

I know it is hard. My ex tells me he loves and misses me too.

 

 

Thank you very much for the advice and stay strong! Yeah, I 've been wanting to talk her for days, but it wouldn't be worth it. I wish the best luck for you overcome this confusing experiences.

[WhatamIdoingwrong]

My ex DUMPED me whilst drunk. I texted the next day to ask if she meant it now she was sober, and she still meant it. Ouch.

[amaysngrace]

My ex DUMPED me whilst drunk. I texted the next day to ask if she meant it now she was sober, and she still meant it. Ouch.

 

They don't call it liquid courage for nothing.

[Leigh 87]

Thank you very much for the advice and stay strong! Yeah, I 've been wanting to talk her for days, but it wouldn't be worth it. I wish the best luck for you overcome this confusing experiences.

 

 

 

 

I am madly in love with my ex lol and I am sure he will have a weak moment and text me sometime when he is drunk and misses me.

 

I will WANT to respond and maybe I WILL Be weak.. cos I love him so much:(

 

I just have to stay strong and realise that unless he is also madly in love with me and wants me back, that anything else he says will only give me false hope.

 

Tonight when I drop the last of his stuff off I will have to make it VERY crystal clear, that he IS NOT to call, text, or add me back on facebook UNLESS he realises that he is crazily in love with me and wants me back again for another chance.

 

I think making it clear to our exes could help.

 

Unless they are retarded and do not get it. And would rather throw ys break crumbs to make themselves better cos they miss us, boo hoo....

[Jay15]

I am madly in love with my ex lol and I am sure he will have a weak moment and text me sometime when he is drunk and misses me.

 

I will WANT to respond and maybe I WILL Be weak.. cos I love him so much:(

 

I just have to stay strong and realise that unless he is also madly in love with me and wants me back, that anything else he says will only give me false hope.

 

Tonight when I drop the last of his stuff off I will have to make it VERY crystal clear, that he IS NOT to call, text, or add me back on facebook UNLESS he realises that he is crazily in love with me and wants me back again for another chance.

 

I think making it clear to our exes could help.

 

Unless they are retarded and do not get it. And would rather throw ys break crumbs to make themselves better cos they miss us, boo hoo....

 

 

I see, how are you doing so far with yourself? Been been keeping you self busy? I hate going to sleep at night..knowing that she is not going to call me and waking up to no text. Making me want to call her even more, but I can't its going to push her away. :/ I called her last sunday morning , but she didn't pick up or call back..good thing.