People always think too much of me...

[DanielStone]

Hi, this may be a bit difficult to explain but I'll try my best.

 

Basically, I'm an 18 year old student from London. I have no real problems talking to people or socialising, in fact I go out quite often and I'm forever using Facebook, Twitter ect.. I tend to get a lot of people talk to me over these Social Network Sites, which, in reality is brilliant and I love it and understand it is a lot more than what other people get, however, there are problems with it... I don't know what it is about me but people see my pictures and stuff on these sites and automatically think I have a great body and am extremely good looking ect... Which again is nice, however, unlike a lot of people I look a hell of a lot better in photos... Mainly because I get to pick and chose the photos that go up on these sites, so ones that show off my good sides.

 

Now, every time I get around to meeting some of these peoples they ALL seem disappointed... I'm 6'4 and a BIG guy, I wouldn't consider myself fat, however I have very broad shoulders and am over weight with a bit of a belly... I have quite a lot of spots as well so I'm not exactly a good looking guy.. and because all these peoples expect so much of me they end up not liking me at all and just brushing me off because I'm not much of a looker...

 

Also, when I actually go out, no women approach me.. not at all and if I approach someone 9/10 they'll leave before I can get a number and if I do get a number nearly all of them are either fake or they don't reply.

 

I have tried a few things to make myself more... attractive, getting new hair styles and clothes ect which I've been doing for a while.. I have pretty much put it down to my looks and my weight, which I find extremely hard to shift due to medical issues but theres no point getting into that!

 

Just, I don't know what else to do! My whole generation is so focused on looks that it just drives some people out of the frame... What else can I do to start actually getting women?

 

Thanks for reading, I know it's a bit of an essay but any replies would be appreciated!

[Roadkill007]

Rely less on getting a "good" photo, and simply use a photo where it shows you having fun.

 

Food for thought : think about it role reversal. "hot" girl on facebook ends up looking nothing like her profile pic, which she photoshopped. Ofc if the guy was interested BECAUSE of the "hot" girl's pic, he'd be disappointed with reality.

 

Point isn't necessarily that making yourself look nice in photos isn't cool, but that doing so with the intent to "lure" girls is.... silly. You're only going to catch flakes that way, basically .

[DanielStone]

Ok, I may have mislead you a little bit there.

 

When I said I pick good pictures, I don't mean I sit for hours picking like 1 photo and photo shopping all my photos and stuff, It just meant that I pick ones I like that I think I look good in... There not ones where I have posed to try and look like some gay fan boy or ones where I have tried to make it look natural and purposely try to take good photos... In fact the only camera I own is on my phone and I rarely use it! All the photos I use are ones taken by other people from parties or when we've gone out with friends, they're completely normal photos that I like pretty much..

[Roadkill007]

maybe you can put a funny "disclaimer" on your photo saying "warning, may be larger than appears in the camera" ?

 

that sounded funnier in my head... SHUDDUP!

 

 

 

anyways, in that case I'm not sure it's even what you think the problem is. Why don't you do a little experiment where you use a less flattering picture and see if people you meet that haven't seen your previous pictures have the same reactions? Or perhaps you can see comments from people who've seen your other pics and get some more valuable feedback?

 

Basically, I think it's worth considering that there's another problem besides your generation being shallow (most teens are pretty shallow anyways, and some just never grow up ). It doesn't really help either, that it's facebook. C'mon.... facebook.

 

Also, if you can also describe your interactions when approaching girls irl with the intention of getting a number, I think you can get some pretty specific advice from people here. Getting experience approaching girls irl is probably more useful in the long run, anyways, than learning how to be attractive in OLD.