ironmanpower Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 So there's this girl in my circle of friends who I've known for about 3 years. I've never noticed her until recently when the a group of 10 friends decided to do a road trip. We are part of a cycling group and we meet weekly for rides. My friends were discussing about my swinging bachelor lifestyle and how I'm still single and available in my 30s. So during the trip, I started talking to her and know more about her. Found that she's doing a mid-career switch and is now back to school full-time. After the trip, I started texting her and told her I'd be at her school for a seminar. She suggested coffee but we met for dinner instead. We chatted like friends but then I realized there was no attraction. So what do I do next? I am the one that is always initiating contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 You realized there was no attraction? How? Did you try to make a move of some kind and were rejected? Did you simply ask her? IMHO if you are both heterosexual to any degree and alive and having dinner 1-on-1 there will be some basic level of attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 You were not attracted to her? How do you know that she wasn't attracted to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironmanpower Posted May 15, 2013 Author Share Posted May 15, 2013 Oh, I'm attracted to her but I am always the one initiating contact. But truth to be told, her responses to my messages were pretty quick. I've not made any move yet and I am still figuring out my next move. Having said that, a group of us are going somewhere for a cycling trip and she's going as well. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 Not worth the time unless you absolutely sure she is into you. make sure she aint lying about that Link to post Share on other sites
jeni45667 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 If you like her, go for it! Women love to be pursued. Be very very obvious about your intentions. I wish I were in her shoes. I am really into this guy who loves running marathons and cycling. We're just friends, but I wish he would see me as more than that one day. If you wouldn't mind me asking, did your friend do anything that made you see her as more than friends? Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 I am generalizing here. Some (a lot, most) people are not attracted to the "swinging [single] lifestyle" man or woman. If she is aware of your reputation, perhaps she sees you as merely looking for a fling or one-night-stand. If she would be justified in that assessment, perhaps you should move on. If on the other hand, you are looking for a meaningful, lasting relationship, you would be wise to make her feel significantly different than your previous fling partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironmanpower Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 So how do I made her feel significantly different? Today a group of us 20 friends met for a group cycling of about 80 miles. She did not rode much and my friend and I were riding with her and keeping a lookout for her. And do most woman want men to initiate contact? She's a little different from the rest of my dates as some of them do text me to asked me how I am doing. Link to post Share on other sites
JenFree2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I guess giving yourself more time to know her can give you a better decision on this. Once you have enough ... Assess then decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironmanpower Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 To cut the long story short, my friends, her and I went for a short vacation over the weekend. There was a lot of teasing from my friends and they were urging me to sit beside her, be a gentleman, grab her attention etc. But thats' not me as I'm an easy guy and I dont go all out to impress a girl by doing silly stuff. So we were double dating in a restaurant as the rest decided to have something else for dinner. At the end of the dinner, I excused myself to the washroom, my friend asked if she knows that I'm chasing her. She nods her head and my friend asked her how do you she find me. She mentioned "okay, but i dont know him well enough." I guess she's assessing me at the moment and I've not been in the friendzone yet. Thats about it. During the whole trip, there were eye contact and we were making funny faces at each other. We had lots of fun but the teasing from my friend make the whole situation very stressful and tense for me and her. I can sense it as at the end of the trip, she was talking less to me and she was kind of cold. Since the cat has been out of the bag, I would give her a ring on Tuesday and asked her out on Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
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