Is Spanking Wrong?

[KathyM]

I already said we are not having babies. We are childfree.

Allrighty, then I guess whether or not to spank won't be an issue for you or your husband.

[thefooloftheyear]

I cant say one way or the other...But I will make some observations.

 

My parents hit us all...My mom was vicious with a wooden spoon..Its an Italian thing..Anyone who is Italian will know exactly what I am talking about..

 

My Dad would give you a dirty look first..Then, if you continued to piss him off, you'd get cracked..He hit hard and its a safe bet that CPS would be paying a visit to our house if it was the case today..

 

None of us suffered any traumatic stress from it..Its was just the way it was back then...Everybody got a beating once in a while..It was commonplace..

 

I have one kid...A little girl..I love her to death...I'd never lay a hand on her in that way....EVER...But, she is also an amazing kid..She is so well behaved sometimes I wonder if she is actually a kid..Never done anything to warrant even a dirty look...She is very well adjusted in all aspects..

 

 

Kids today dont get hit, for the most part..Its unbelievably rare, from what I have seen..yet, I am of the opinion that the subsequent generations are more effed up emotionally than we ever were..At least that is what I am seeing...

 

So..what do you draw from that?? Who knows???

 

 

TFY

Edited July 30, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[xxoo]

I would want to spank my kids if talking and taking away privileges did not work, while my husband thinks any kind of hitting is wrong.

 

And if spanking doesn't work?

 

Few parenting strategies "work" in a sense that the child shapes up and acts perfectly. And there are far more tools than talking and taking away privileges.

 

Hitting is just so unnecessary. If I can not solve problems without hitting, how can I teach my children to solve problems without hitting? I can't teach what I do not know.

[Nyla]

I guess I think spanking "works" because every kid in my family, extended and immediate, was very well behaved. I also noticed that the kids I went to school with who were spanked were equally polite and followed the rules.

 

The idea that spanking is terrible is a North American way of thinking. Most immigrant parents that I knew weren't afraid to spank their children. A Canadian comedian with Indian parents once said: "If your parents are not from Canada, they will whoop your ass. White people need to start beating their kids.":laugh:

 

I do think that children these days have far too much power and not enough respect for authority. This is coming from my past experience as a nanny; the kids I looked after whose parents refused to spank were disrespectful and they had a lot of problems at school. The one family I worked with who spanked their kids raised three well mannered and respectful boys.

 

I had teachers who admitted to spanking their children and these were people who were educated in child development. Of course, this was during the mid to late eighties so I realize things have changed since then.

 

My nieces are spanked by their parents but I never do it. It is good for kids who are raised in a very strict manner to have aunts and uncles who spoil them.

 

The one good thing about my upbringing is that I am not some whiny and entitled little brat who expects everything to be handed to her, like so many people in my generation. My parents wanted to raise children who defied stereotypes and lived productive lives. They were too ignorant to know the healthiest parenting methods, so they just blindly continued the cycle. They were wrong but I understand that their intentions were good.

Edited July 31, 2013 by Nyla

[BornToDie]

I had a smart mouth with my mom, and if I had a dollar for every time I heard her say, "I'm about to slap the s*** out of you," I probably could've moved out. It was a nightmare. She spanked me when I was young, but as a teenager, she would punch me, slap me, and pull my hair. I was never a bad kid, either. I didn't do drugs or drink that much, I made all As, and I didn't get pregnant. She'd start this after me not doing a chore, or it would start as simple as me asking her if she could take me somewhere. Can you imagine how scary it was to walk on eggshells like that? Even now, after she died, I still resent her for what she did. She'd always end up apologizing, but I just eventually thought, "You're not sorry; you'll just do it again."

 

I knew it wasn't normal, and my granddad finally told me that my grandmother (mom's mother) would do the same thing to her, and he had to pull her off my mom many times, just like he had to do with me. My grandmother even chased my mom around the house with a knife once, threatening to kill her just like my mom did one night with me. It's a cycle of abuse.

 

I think the definition of spanking varies from person to person, and that's why it's such a hot topic. In Alabama, where I grew up, the law states that you may use "reasonable and appropriate physical force" on your children. How is that defined?

My point is, when you lay hands on your child, they remember. My mom burned so many memories into my brain when she beat the hell out of me, and because of that, I'm not going to treat my child the same way.

[thefooloftheyear]

I was slapped and spanked as a kid. My stepfather had a fondness for using the belt on me. I acciepted it when I was very little but as I got older I would feel a burning hatred in the pit of my belly whenever he would hit me. I think because I was naturally starting to identify myself as a separate person and draw my own boundaries which of course my parents did not respect. Spankings did nothing to deter me.

 

When I grew up and had my first child I spanked him because I assumed that's what parents did. I usually did it in anger because although I had heard the theory about not spanking kids in anger I didn't actually want to spank my kids when I wasn't angry. If I was calm and rational then I would think of some other way to deal with situation.

 

After my second son was born I started to notice that I felt pretty lousy after I spanked. Even though I never did more than a few swats on the butt, I would just feel sick about it for hours afterwards. By the time my oldest was 8 and my youngest was 4 I had abandoned spanking all together. Both of my sons turned out pretty damn fine if you ask me. They are kind respectful compassionate people and they were as kids too.

 

On the other hand, my little brothers, who are actually quite close to my kids in age as my first sibling wasn't born until I was 14 years old, used to get slapped all day every day from the time they were babies by my mom and my stepfather. I think back to it now and it makes me cringe. By the time they were school age they had so many issues and they were so out of control, especially my youngest brother. To be honest the spankings and the smacking wasn't the only dysfunctional thing going on in that house. My mother and my stepfather had become miserable and angry 24/7 and fought bitterly in front of my brothers all of the time. However hitting my brothers did nothing to help the situation nor did it turn them into sweet obedient children.

 

Up until about 15 years ago I was pro corporal punishment and I argued for it. Even long after I had stopped spanking my own kids I still argued that parents had the right to hit their children if that's how they chose to discipline. Now it just sounds so barbaric to me and I can't believe that I ever thought it was okay for adults to hit little children. I have 3 small grandchildren and my son and his wife do not hit them ever. They are every bit as well behaved as any other kids, including those who are spanked. I'm not so sure that I would call spankings child abuse or that I would call parents who spank child abusers as there are degrees of spanking severity but I just don't think it's necessary in most cases.

 

 

But does it really prove anything?

 

There seems to be just as many people that got spanked and are perfectly normal as there are those that werent..(shrug)...

 

TFY

[Silly_Girl]

I guess I think spanking "works" because every kid in my family, extended and immediate, was very well behaved. I also noticed that the kids I went to school with who were spanked were equally polite and followed the rules. .

 

Or perhaps you kids would have been good anyway, and perhaps the kids you knew well (knew their home life, knew whether they were spanked) were good kids too, because we often hang around with kids similar to us.

[Nyla]

I wouldn't know. I wasn't allowed to see my friends outside of school very often.

[John316C]

Because you or someone you know didn't suffer effects of it (which is up for debate)...doesn't mean it doesn't exst.

Theres a lot of people who say everything turned out OK, while they just ignore everything negative that has come out from it to themselves and others in their life. I know such people. In fact I grew up in a school full of Portuguese, Italians and Brazilians. Most of them were clearly has something emotionally wrong with them which would pass as nothing to the untrained eye.

I also suffered emotional and physical abuse for 75% of my 28 years of life and no one knew.

 

Covertly by my parents in ways where you get brainwashed to think its your fault. Spanking was part of it when I was younger. Spanking (Violence) turns into more violence. People loose control. They would never punch or kick or shove me but was so scared I used to hide in closets, under beds, everywhere to escape. Emotionally they were crazy and out of control. On the outside everyone believes them because they are rich or look like the perfect family. No one is going to tell you they were abused, they are going to avoid it or pretend like it was right so they can feel better about themselves. They will even whitewash themselves and others so they don't have to deal with the emotional reality.

 

Abuse is abuse. Period. Hitting someone is violence. You would not hit a young child who doesn't even have the developed brain of an adult to control or learn because they don't have matured brains.

 

There is nothing that anyone can say or do that will ever change that.

 

Spanking/Beating can turn into anything. It can lead to more aggressive behaviors like assault. In fact the CDC (United States Center for Disease Control & Prevention terms spanking as 'minor assault'.)

It can also turn into emotional/and sexual assault and neglect which is prevalent in American divorces.

Spanking/Beatings are part of an array of abusive behaviors.

 

It also sets a bad precedent for how you should treat others who disobey/anger/disagree with you in the future, like your spouse, other civilians, pets, and your children. It teaches that they way to solve problems is with violence and aggressing against others and not through explanations and socializing.

Edited July 31, 2013 by John316C

[thefooloftheyear]

Because you or someone you know didn't suffer effects of it (which is up for debate)...doesn't mean it doesn't exst.

Theres a lot of people who say everything turned out OK, while they just ignore everything negative that has come out from it to themselves and others in their life. I know such people. In fact I grew up in a school full of Portuguese, Italians and Brazilians. Most of them were clearly has something emotionally wrong with them which would pass as nothing to the untrained eye.

I also suffered emotional and physical abuse for 75% of my 28 years of life and no one knew.

 

Covertly by my parents in ways where you get brainwashed to think its your fault. Spanking was part of it when I was younger. Spanking (Violence) turns into more violence. People loose control. They would never punch or kick or shove me but was so scared I used to hide in closets, under beds, everywhere to escape. Emotionally they were crazy and out of control. On the outside everyone believes them because they are rich or look like the perfect family. No one is going to tell you they were abused, they are going to avoid it or pretend like it was right so they can feel better about themselves. They will even whitewash themselves and others so they don't have to deal with the emotional reality.

 

Abuse is abuse. Period. Hitting someone is violence. You would not hit a young child who doesn't even have the developed brain of an adult to control or learn because they don't have matured brains.

 

There is nothing that anyone can say or do that will ever change that.

 

Spanking/Beating can turn into anything. It can lead to more aggressive behaviors like assault. In fact the CDC (United States Center for Disease Control & Prevention terms spanking as 'minor assault'.)

It can also turn into emotional/and sexual assault and neglect which is prevalent in American divorces.

Spanking/Beatings are part of an array of abusive behaviors.

 

It also sets a bad precedent for how you should treat others who disobey/anger/disagree with you in the future, like your spouse, other civilians, pets, and your children. It teaches that they way to solve problems is with violence and aggressing against others and not through explanations and socializing.

 

I think I have just read the most ridiculous post I have ever read on this site...and that is saying a lot....

 

Just answer this one question...Sure, spanking has gone the way of the rotary phone..

 

Why is it that these current generations are FAR more effed up than we EVER were? There was NO Columbine, no Connecticut school massacre..No Timothy McVeigh..? More kids getting high, committing suicide, etc...Why is this?

 

Now, dont get me wrong, I am not saying that if these kids were spanked they wouldnt have done what they had done, but the "coddling" culture that exists today has raised a bunch of weak willed kids..Thats for sure...No one will argue that the kids today are way softer than we were..

 

I dont think spanking vs non spanking proves a damn thing...

 

When I was a kid..I took a paper clip and inserted into the socket in the wall..Yep..I got shocked..Did I ever once put anything in that socket except a plug from that point on? Nope..

 

Bully's?? My dad and mother told me that if someone tries to bully you, dont put up with it..If they continue and get physical, dont go to the teacher, punch him in the face..Thats right..Well...Guess what? I never got bullied-even though I was a bit of a runt as a kid..I never had to suffer the emotional and mental trauma of that nonsense...Kids are committing suicide over this crap..Maybe if they decided they were going to fight back and not get crapped on they wouldnt have all these issues.

 

 

Sheesh...

 

TFY

[miss_jaclynrae]

I think I have just read the most ridiculous post I have ever read on this site...and that is saying a lot....

 

Just answer this one question...Sure, spanking has gone the way of the rotary phone..

 

Why is it that these current generations are FAR more effed up than we EVER were? There was NO Columbine, no Connecticut school massacre..No Timothy McVeigh..? More kids getting high, committing suicide, etc...Why is this?

 

Now, dont get me wrong, I am not saying that if these kids were spanked they wouldnt have done what they had done, but the "coddling" culture that exists today has raised a bunch of weak willed kids..Thats for sure...No one will argue that the kids today are way softer than we were..

 

I dont think spanking vs non spanking proves a damn thing...

 

When I was a kid..I took a paper clip and inserted into the socket in the wall..Yep..I got shocked..Did I ever once put anything in that socket except a plug from that point on? Nope..

 

Bully's?? My dad and mother told me that if someone tries to bully you, dont put up with it..If they continue and get physical, dont go to the teacher, punch him in the face..Thats right..Well...Guess what? I never got bullied-even though I was a bit of a runt as a kid..I never had to suffer the emotional and mental trauma of that nonsense...Kids are committing suicide over this crap..Maybe if they decided they were going to fight back and not get crapped on they wouldnt have all these issues.

 

 

Sheesh...

 

TFY

 

And you said HIS post was ridiculous?

 

Who says current generations are far more effed up? That is a pretty bold statement to make, especially to use such examples to prove it.

[veggirl]

I think I have just read the most ridiculous post I have ever read on this site...and that is saying a lot....

 

Just answer this one question...Sure, spanking has gone the way of the rotary phone..

 

Why is it that these current generations are FAR more effed up than we EVER were? There was NO Columbine, no Connecticut school massacre..No Timothy McVeigh..? More kids getting high, committing suicide, etc...Why is this?

 

Now, dont get me wrong, I am not saying that if these kids were spanked they wouldnt have done what they had done, but the "coddling" culture that exists today has raised a bunch of weak willed kids..Thats for sure...No one will argue that the kids today are way softer than we were..

 

I dont think spanking vs non spanking proves a damn thing...

 

When I was a kid..I took a paper clip and inserted into the socket in the wall..Yep..I got shocked..Did I ever once put anything in that socket except a plug from that point on? Nope..

 

Bully's?? My dad and mother told me that if someone tries to bully you, dont put up with it..If they continue and get physical, dont go to the teacher, punch him in the face..Thats right..Well...Guess what? I never got bullied-even though I was a bit of a runt as a kid..I never had to suffer the emotional and mental trauma of that nonsense...Kids are committing suicide over this crap..Maybe if they decided they were going to fight back and not get crapped on they wouldnt have all these issues.

 

 

Sheesh...

 

TFY

 

Who says we are more effed up? ARE suicides actually up?

 

Sure there wasn't Columbine but there have been psychopaths all along. Charles Manson? Wasn't that the time of hippy love?

 

I'd bet that many, many of the bullies today are "bullied" themselves at home. I'm not sure how you can decide that hitting a kid will make them peaceful towards other people. ARE kids more coddled today? Or are more parents absent from their lives? Most kids don't grow up with ANY parent at home, in the past wasn't it common for mom to be home? I don't know, maybe the lack of attention is an issue, not too much attention?

[thefooloftheyear]

Who says we are more effed up? ARE suicides actually up?

 

Sure there wasn't Columbine but there have been psychopaths all along. Charles Manson? Wasn't that the time of hippy love?

 

I'd bet that many, many of the bullies today are "bullied" themselves at home. I'm not sure how you can decide that hitting a kid will make them peaceful towards other people. ARE kids more coddled today? Or are more parents absent from their lives? Most kids don't grow up with ANY parent at home, in the past wasn't it common for mom to be home? I don't know, maybe the lack of attention is an issue, not too much attention?

 

I take it neither of the last two posters have any kids?? just checking.

 

Suicides are WAY up ...I thought so, but I had to look and even I was surprised..Sharply higher...Drug use is way up, legal and illegal, etc...YES, VG kids are way more coddled today than in my time..

 

Look....Here is the deal..My parents grew up in an age where not only did they get spanked at home, but they also got "beaten" by nasty nuns at school..and so did damn near everyone else..have either of you two ever heard of "The greatest generation"..Look it up..It was likely the high point in American History in terms of progress, prosperity, family, etc..I am 100% sure those folks just about all were spanked..

 

So what do we have now? Everyone gets a participation trophy, kids can now sue their parents for abuse if they are spanked....With all of this so called "enlightenment" you would think we would be basking in peace, prosperity, rainbows and unicorns....Nope..This generation cant even get out of their parents basements...And every few months you hear about some atrocity by some miscreant kid...That stuff was so rare 30 years ago, you never even heard about it.

 

Go back and read the thread...Its full of folks, who were spanked as a child and went on to lead perfectly normal lives..

 

As a parent, i have never had to deal with any of that,...My daughter is an angel and never so much as gave me a reason to give her a dirty look..I dont think I could spank her if if she was unruly...My brother has spanked his kids and frankly they are very well adjusted young adults..Honor students and athletes..

 

All I am saying is show me some proof that people get permanently damaged from spanking...Its just not there...I dont care wat anyone says or thinks..

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

And you said HIS post was ridiculous?

 

Who says current generations are far more effed up? That is a pretty bold statement to make, especially to use such examples to prove it.

 

 

You have a habit of making my point..I dont need your help, but thanks just the same..darlin..

 

TFY

[knitwit]

Since time immemorial the last generation thought the new one was a disaster in the making. The current generation can't get out of their parents basements because they are the biggest victims of the Great Recession. They are actually a pretty cool and accomplished generation so far IMO.

 

The Greatest Generation was Great, no doubt about it. But the prosperity was a result of the War, not because they were spanked as kids, LOL.

 

Also, at least in the 1st world countries, I think it's hard to argue that there is not a much higher quality of life as far as material goods go in 2013 than in, say, 1955. This is ESPECIALLY true for poor people. Read any right-wing blog to hear all about how poor people get their food stamps, unemployment, Social Security, Housing, Cell-Phones, etc.

 

I think the funniest thing about using Columbine, The Boston Massacre, the Timothy McVeighs- do you think the people who committed these crimes got spanked as kids? Kids of military and religious parents? Very likely IMO.

 

Back to the thread. IMO, spanking might not mess a kid up. NOT spanking won't mess a kid up. Lack of any kind of consistent discipline definitely messes a kid up.

 

We don't spank, at least so far. We have no plans to do so.

[thefooloftheyear]

Since time immemorial the last generation thought the new one was a disaster in the making. The current generation can't get out of their parents basements because they are the biggest victims of the Great Recession. They are actually a pretty cool and accomplished generation so far IMO.

 

Accomplished? How so, by complaining about every thing in the world for their inadequacies? I left to go out on my own and started a business in 1983/84...Go back and look at what the sconomy was doing then.. Ill agree, im not cool, but I never blamed anyone for anything..

 

The Greatest Generation was Great, no doubt about it. But the prosperity was a result of the War, not because they were spanked as kids, LOL.

 

Well, nitwit:laugh:..I dont know how you extrapolated that out of what I wrote..Any dope knows it wasnt because they were spanked. But if you believe anything that the no spank crowd says,there would be no Greatest Generation, because all of those kids that got beaten would have too many emotional scars..Get it now?

 

Also, at least in the 1st world countries, I think it's hard to argue that there is not a much higher quality of life as far as material goods go in 2013 than in, say, 1955. This is ESPECIALLY true for poor people. Read any right-wing blog to hear all about how poor people get their food stamps, unemployment, Social Security, Housing, Cell-Phones, etc.

 

What does that prove? That they can bury themselves in credit debt for insignificant crap? Try again.,

 

I think the funniest thing about using Columbine, The Boston Massacre, the Timothy McVeighs- do you think the people who committed these crimes got spanked as kids? Kids of military and religious parents? Very likely IMO.

 

Who knows if they did or didnt...Just that these atrocities were non existent in earlier generations...Wait, its because of assault weapons..

 

Back to the thread. IMO, spanking might not mess a kid up. NOT spanking won't mess a kid up. Lack of any kind of consistent discipline definitely messes a kid up.

 

On this point I wholeheartedly agree with you..we are on the same page here and thus the point of my post..There just isnt any significant proof that says spanking a kid effs them up for life..

 

We don't spank, at least so far. We have no plans to do so.

 

I dont and never will...

 

 

TFY

[knitwit]

Actually, there has been a long history in the US and elsewhere of mass shootings. It is not a new phenomenon by any means. Humans have always been pretty good at finding ways to off one another. These "newer" generations are just following in the footsteps of their ancestors.

 

I used one of the inventions by members of the "non-accomplished" Gen Xers called Google to find this one link, which show that we had mass school shootings back before we were even a country, and schools were pretty rare- but there are many available should you choose to look:

 

Mass Shootings Have Long History : Discovery News

 

I read in that article that the word "amok" has Mayan derivatives, and "beserk" is Norse, both of which referred to mass killings. Pretty interesting stuff. It's a bit of an understatement, and a little bit obvious, but mass killings have been around a lot longer than our recent generations.

 

You wrote, "Look....Here is the deal..My parents grew up in an age where not only did they get spanked at home, but they also got "beaten" by nasty nuns at school..and so did damn near everyone else..have either of you two ever heard of "The greatest generation"..Look it up..It was likely the high point in American History in terms of progress, prosperity, family, etc..I am 100% sure those folks just about all were spanked.."

 

Ok, so post hoc ergo propter hoco and all might apply. But I wanted to be clear that spanking and prosperity aren't a known correlation just 'cuz of how you wrote it.

 

In fact, I think you can argue that we are much more prosperous now than we were back then. Hence my point that even the poorest of the poor now have more material goods, housing, food, insurance, etc. than the poorest of poor in your proposed "Golden Era." I agree that it doesn't have anything to do with spanking; I just strongly disagree with the assertion that things overall are worse now. Given a choice between being a middle age adult with a child in 1954 and 2013, I strongly choose 2013.

 

You suggested earlier that spanking is going the way of the rotary phone. I pretty much agree, except I'd switch up the metaphor to, it is going the way of medical leeches. Medical leeches way back then probably didn't do much harm, except for in extreme cases. But we now know there are much more effective ways to resolve the issues.

[thefooloftheyear]

Actually, there has been a long history in the US and elsewhere of mass shootings. It is not a new phenomenon by any means. Humans have always been pretty good at finding ways to off one another. These "newer" generations are just following in the footsteps of their ancestors.

 

I used one of the inventions by members of the "non-accomplished" Gen Xers called Google to find this one link, which show that we had mass school shootings back before we were even a country, and schools were pretty rare- but there are many available should you choose to look:

 

Mass Shootings Have Long History : Discovery News

 

I read in that article that the word "amok" has Mayan derivatives, and "beserk" is Norse, both of which referred to mass killings. Pretty interesting stuff. It's a bit of an understatement, and a little bit obvious, but mass killings have been around a lot longer than our recent generations.

 

You wrote, "Look....Here is the deal..My parents grew up in an age where not only did they get spanked at home, but they also got "beaten" by nasty nuns at school..and so did damn near everyone else..have either of you two ever heard of "The greatest generation"..Look it up..It was likely the high point in American History in terms of progress, prosperity, family, etc..I am 100% sure those folks just about all were spanked.."

 

Ok, so post hoc ergo propter hoco and all might apply. But I wanted to be clear that spanking and prosperity aren't a known correlation just 'cuz of how you wrote it.

 

In fact, I think you can argue that we are much more prosperous now than we were back then. Hence my point that even the poorest of the poor now have more material goods, housing, food, insurance, etc. than the poorest of poor in your proposed "Golden Era." I agree that it doesn't have anything to do with spanking; I just strongly disagree with the assertion that things overall are worse now. Given a choice between being a middle age adult with a child in 1954 and 2013, I strongly choose 2013.

 

You suggested earlier that spanking is going the way of the rotary phone. I pretty much agree, except I'd switch up the metaphor to, it is going the way of medical leeches. Medical leeches way back then probably didn't do much harm, except for in extreme cases. But we now know there are much more effective ways to resolve the issues.

 

My whole point....which you conveniently glossed over is this...

 

If spanking was so bad, then why didnt all these people that got spanked and whipped lead us into a Society of madness of mental instability??

 

Also, I have been an employer for more years than you are probably alive..I hire mostly 20-30 year old "men".(more like little boys) ...The quality and work ethic has gone steadily down, while the pay has gone up. So go and Google all you want and show me some bogus slanted case study, it doesnt mean shyt to me...I'm on the front lines, so to speak...Whats your explanation for that?

 

And as far as things being better today..Let me fill you in on something..In the summer, my brother and I(as little kids). left the house at the crack of dawn and didnt return until twilight..As did most of the other kids in the 'hood...No cell phones, smoke signals or anything else..No one got abducted, raped, murdered or otherwise..Did it happen at times.? Sure,,but it was exceedingly rare...Now, I wouldnt dare let my 10 year old daughter anywhere without a trusted adult supervising..Yep, things are just fantastic:rolleyes:

 

Why do you bring up material things as a measure of quality of life? Like I said, most people today are nothing but a bunch of paper aszholes, that if they couldnt put it on a charge card they would barely be able to survive..Savings is at an all time low..Credit debt is at an all time high as is foreclosures and defaults. Its a house of cards, dude..Smoke and mirrors...

 

Forget it, though..I think we are in agreement on the main topic at hand..Spanking vs not spanking doesnt mean anything in terms of future mental instability..

 

I wish you well..

 

TFY

Edited August 2, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[John316C]

i have to disagree with almost every single thing said by fool of the year. almost none of his examples are proper examples, hes just making a claim and than trying to heap on things so he can support his pov. but those examples are not strong correlators to support spanking. on the other hand there is very strong correlational evidence that it is more harmful than good. just look at the studies. its so damn obvious the only people who dont agree are the ones who really dont care about research, they care about their opinions. theres no way you can really debate with people who have already made up their minds or who are just illogical and ignore almost everything except hearsay, conjecture and their immediate surroundings.

 

anyway i dont support it ive seen enough evidence and seen enough mental problems stemming from abusive behaviours - the whole array of them. even forgetting about the results of spanking. on principle alone it can easily be ruled out as problematic. 1 for example it is plain and simple - violence. another one is there is NO enforceable regulation or oversight.

 

basically its a type of violence and there is NO regulation, but its ""OK" because we trust parents will do the right thing behind closed doors because we know they're smart"

[amaysngrace]

Actually there have been bad reviews on spanking but there has never been anything submitted, to my knowledge, that encourages it.

[KathyM]

Children who are subjected to an authoritarian style of disciplining, such as spanking, exhibit higher levels of anxiety as children and as adults. They also perceive their self worth externally, based on outcome, rather than having intrinsic self worth, which makes them more prone to depression, anxiety, and adjustment disorders if their life is not always going their way. People with intrinsic self worth don't need outside validation to be able to feel good about themselves.

[HeavenOrHell]

Still grates on my nerves people using the word 'spanking' it when it comes to kids, the correct word is hitting.

[thefooloftheyear]

i have to disagree with almost every single thing said by fool of the year. almost none of his examples are proper examples, hes just making a claim and than trying to heap on things so he can support his pov. but those examples are not strong correlators to support spanking. on the other hand there is very strong correlational evidence that it is more harmful than good. just look at the studies. its so damn obvious the only people who dont agree are the ones who really dont care about research, they care about their opinions. theres no way you can really debate with people who have already made up their minds or who are just illogical and ignore almost everything except hearsay, conjecture and their immediate surroundings.

 

anyway i dont support it ive seen enough evidence and seen enough mental problems stemming from abusive behaviours - the whole array of them. even forgetting about the results of spanking. on principle alone it can easily be ruled out as problematic. 1 for example it is plain and simple - violence. another one is there is NO enforceable regulation or oversight.

 

basically its a type of violence and there is NO regulation, but its ""OK" because we trust parents will do the right thing behind closed doors because we know they're smart"

 

 

OK, fine...

 

 

Again, are you people that dumb?? I am NOT ADVOCATING SPANKING in any post...Show me one example?

 

Answer this ONE SIMPLE QUESTION..

 

In the times where spanking was prevalent, and kids not only got spanked at homet but also got spanked at school..How come those people went on to lead successful and completely normal lives..If what you are saying is true, we would have sunk ourselves into a society of mental and emotional ruin..

 

How did they manage to have families, build businsesses, and flat out lead successful lives..Your theory is just full of all hot air..

 

My theory is that while you can be anti spanking, there isnt one shred of evidence that these people who do get spanked are any less likely to grow up as normal, compassionate functioning adults..

 

You should worry less about spanking and more about reading comprehension..You obviously cannot process what you read...

 

Sheesh

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

Children who are subjected to an authoritarian style of disciplining, such as spanking, exhibit higher levels of anxiety as children and as adults. They also perceive their self worth externally, based on outcome, rather than having intrinsic self worth, which makes them more prone to depression, anxiety, and adjustment disorders if their life is not always going their way. People with intrinsic self worth don't need outside validation to be able to feel good about themselves.

 

I respect you and you know this..But where is your proof of this?? And please dont show me some nonsense off the net..Were your parents spanked? Ill bet they were, depending on how old you are and what part of the country you are from. And with that said, how did they manage to raise a level headed and well principled woman like yourself?

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

All these "emotionally stable" kids and young adults that grew up in the age of enlightenment where everyone held hands, everyone got a participation trophy, and if they did wrong they got a half of a cookie instead of the whole one, now cant survive one day without Xanax, Prozac, or any other thing...

 

Yep...its working alright...

 

TFY