Need some guidance

[Dave1234567859]

So...

 

I met my current girlfriend about a year ago. This past summer, I was persuing her, and we had kissed drunkenly a couple of times. She was in kind of a tough place as her long relationship had just ended. One night we were at a bar, and I don't think she really knew I liked her...I went to talk to a friend, and come back and she is kissing an acquaintance of mine . I get all pissed off, and that's kind of the end of that pursuit. Couple months go by, and I talk to another girl- that fizzles out, and I start talking to my current gf again. Things are great, we start dating and all is well. About 3 months ago she tells me that she had sex that night with the kid from the bar. Since then I'm kind of having trouble dealing with it, even though I know I really have no right. I care very strongly for her, but I find my mind is really beating me up about that one night. Not sure how to cope with it. I've talked to her about it, and she,of course, doesn't really remember it as she was quite drunk...but she has made it clear that she would never cheat on me , and I realize I have no place to get mad as I wasn't with her at the time. I still see this kid around here and there and it just kind of eats away at me. Trying to forgive is tough, and I do have a few days where I will have unconditional love for her, but the awful memory creeps back and gets to me. I don't want to lose her at all, but at the same time it's not fair to me or her if I keep getting moody/angry over something in the past. Anybody have any advice for this confused soul? We've been together 5 months.

 

 

Thanks

[flitzanu]

So...

 

I met my current girlfriend about a year ago. This past summer, I was persuing her, and we had kissed drunkenly a couple of times. She was in kind of a tough place as her long relationship had just ended. One night we were at a bar, and I don't think she really knew I liked her...I went to talk to a friend, and come back and she is kissing an acquaintance of mine . I get all pissed off, and that's kind of the end of that pursuit. Couple months go by, and I talk to another girl- that fizzles out, and I start talking to my current gf again. Things are great, we start dating and all is well. About 3 months ago she tells me that she had sex that night with the kid from the bar. Since then I'm kind of having trouble dealing with it, even though I know I really have no right. I care very strongly for her, but I find my mind is really beating me up about that one night. Not sure how to cope with it. I've talked to her about it, and she,of course, doesn't really remember it as she was quite drunk...but she has made it clear that she would never cheat on me , and I realize I have no place to get mad as I wasn't with her at the time. I still see this kid around here and there and it just kind of eats away at me. Trying to forgive is tough, and I do have a few days where I will have unconditional love for her, but the awful memory creeps back and gets to me. I don't want to lose her at all, but at the same time it's not fair to me or her if I keep getting moody/angry over something in the past. Anybody have any advice for this confused soul? We've been together 5 months.

 

 

Thanks

 

you can always remind yourself that this dude obviously wasn't a good enough lay to keep seeing or for her to want a relationship with. other than that, you have to work on ignoring and forgetting.

[Good_Spirit]

I think in relationships, few things are better to keep away from your partner if they are of the jealous type, especially for things happened in the past, because it will haunt them forever and this is not fair, and in this case its you. If she never told you about it then you wouldn't have felt like that, I think as said in Two and a half men, for once they are right, Evelyn: Confession may be good for the soul, but for marriage, it's a hot, lead enema.

Telling you made her feel comfortable, like the guilt is gone, on the other hand you caught all these negative feelings, so the only thing you can do if you want to continue with this relationship is to:

• Try your best to feel okay about your gf being around guys, and talking about her past with all her sexual and normal relationships, and share your own experiences with her, this may bring you closer to each other, but you have got to make sure you are ready to accept all what she will tell you and that she will do the same to you, work on your jealousy
  
• Ignore what she told you about that guy because things happen you know, girls or guys they have one night stands when they are drunk and feeling down which makes them feel less confident about who they are
  
• In the end, she chose you over him and over any other guy in the world, so cheer up! If you think she is the one, then I guess she thinks the same about you to be able to confess about what happened in the past even though it is not relevant to the present.
  

Cheers

[Bryanp]

She tells you that she had sex with this kid but she says she can't really remember all that much having sex with that kid that night because she was quite drunk? This is someone that you wish to be in a relationship with? What is wrong with this picture?

[road]

Technically you two were not exclusive.

 

So she was not a cheating hoe.

 

However what she did would bother me. A lot.

 

Tough call to say dump or keep her based on limited information.

 

I lean to dump her.