tryingtobehappy Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Quick Recap of my 8 month relationship-My ex was going thru a divorce when I started dating him, we got along well, never fought, he has two children I never met but when he ended the relationship 3 weeks later he called to see if he could swing by my work with them to say hi (I wasn’t working that day). So anyway he called me one night saying his ex-wife was so nice to him and he was confused (she was the one that wanted the divorce). 2 day’s later he came to my house and ended our relationship saying that “my feelings for him are stronger then his feelings for me” (he was crying the entire time). So we agreed to stay friends although I haven’t been out with him since he ended it 3-months ago, and I never call him. He still calls me once a week and we e-mail each other once or twice a week, we have not gone over 5 day’s without some sort of contact. This week he left 2 voicemails at my work at night (not calling me on my cell, just leaving me voice-mails) both time’s bringing up jokes that we had together while we where dating. He obviously still thinks about me. Part of me thinks he just needs some time to get over his 12-year marriage and felt he was using me to feel better about himself. I still think there is a chance he will want me back. I am still making myself available to others but have not met anyone that I desire yet. I just need some advice, he did make me happy and I do miss him, but am I reading into his calling me still? Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 If this guy was serious about you, he would be making every effort to be with you. But nope, he is too chicken to do anything except call and leave voicemails. It's obvious that he does have feelings for you, but unless he steps up to the plate...I wouldn't read into his cat-and-mouse games. It's not fair to you and your feelings for him. I wouldn't answer his phone calls and emails. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I agree. He has feelings for you, but he's on the fence. A twelve-year relationship can exert a pretty strong pull, even if it wasn't a healthy or happy union. If you make yourself available to him through phone calls, emails, etc., he won't break away from her. He won't need to. He'll still get some kind of emotional fix from you to supplement what he has with his ex-wife. I say pull away, hard. Then give it a few months. If he doesn't come after you with everything he's got, just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tryingtobehappy Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 Thanks for the advice. I can't fully pull away from him because he deals with my work. I don't see him everyday but he comes in once a month. I don’t blame him for finally realizing he is hurt and confused from what his ex-wife did. I am just mad that he used me to fill some void and to feel worthy again. I wish I could hate him it would make leaving him behind so much easier, I just know he is sad. I am too nice. Link to post Share on other sites
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