jerryinva Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Just so you guys know.... She just called me...she said she was hesitant to call, because we usually fight when she goes out of town...but, I kept things smooth. She said she kind of didn't want to go, because she had no extra money, and she doesn't like him buying her things....and she isn't feeling well. I said, at the least, you are getting out of town, away from the stress...she replied they stress is still going to be in my head. She said, I am going to be worried about you...I said don't worry about me, I will be fine. I even told her if her daughter's aunt needed anything...to call me... She said well, you can still call in emergencies, or if you want to chat, and I replied, no I want you to get away from things for a few days. She then told me she had to go, he was coming out to get in the truck...I sais ok..bye, I hope you have a good time..she commented that sounded forced..and I said, well I didn't want it sound too much like it was in the other direction, so I probably overemphasized it...but I wanted her to have a good time... I won't call her...I want there to be no interference from me... But...I am sad...I am said we had such a good conversation...but it was probably too little too late... and I am sure he is going to spend lots of money on her... But, my goal is to let this bother me as little as possible... We'll see if I make it... Link to post Share on other sites
dnm1010 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 i read your comment and im not sure the details of this situation or anyones relationship but i do know how frustrating it can feel to be helpless. i hope this dosnt bother you the cup is half full take care Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 That's better than you would have done before. I hope you note that she'd doing what I said she would - contacting you before this trip - cat with a spider...... You will be doing GREAT when you no longer see her or talk to her when she contacts you - THAT is no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I think you can feel good about this conversation. Every time that things go well between you (or any girl) you are learning how to be with her. And it isn't true (as someone said in reply to your other post) that women don't like nice guys. They just like to feel that you're standing on your own two feet, so that maybe if they lean toward you once in a while, you could help hold them up. Then they can do it in return. You sounding strong and kind and independent seems to have worked in this conversation. Keep it up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 Thank you for your comments and thoughts. I have to say, I felt pretty good after the conversation. At least she didn't leave feeling angry or bad towards me like she usually does. So, some progress has been made, I hope. That doesn't I wasn't sad she was going, and why...but I just didn't let her hear it. Baby steps... And, I would love it if I knew some women who did like nice guys...so far, my experience has been that isn't the case :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Most women do like nice men. But not men who are overly jealous or smother them. Like calling all the time, not giving them time alone when the woman asks for it, ect. I read your other posts too and I just want you to know that you're doing a lot better (or so it sounds) just continue to not call, don't give into your urge to talk to her. You'll feel better in the long run! Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Originally posted by jerryinva And, I would love it if I knew some women who did like nice guys...so far, my experience has been that isn't the case :-( Believe it or not - mature emotionally healthy women DO like nice guys! I'm in better shape as a person than I ever have been. The man I've been with a year - well, he may not have immediately caught my eye in a bar for a hookup. He's attractive, sweet, steady, dependable, a rock when I need him, sensitive, but also able to stand up to me. All of those things add up to "forever" for me! Nice guys don't always finish last - they just have to choose the right woman who will love and appreciate him Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 Well...this morning I woke up missing her...and looked at the phone, half expecting her to call...but knowing she wouldn't. And even though she told me I could call...I am not. No inteference from me... even if the end result isn't what I want... So....Hi to the ladies who like nice guys here... Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 glad to learn you have made some progress... keep it up!! Link to post Share on other sites
soooconfused Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 there is only one way for me to put this.....go get laid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 Interestingly enough, I was just playing the PS2, and jamming to some music from my laptop with my expensive work headphones..and didn't hear the phone ring. She called around 10 p.m., but because I had the headphones on...I couldn't hear the phone. I only knew she called because it showed a new call on the caller ID...and it was her cell. But..no message from her.... Of course, now I wonder if she'll think I didn't answer on purpose because she was with him... Not the case, of course... Nonetheless, I have kept my word to leave her alone while she was gone... Link to post Share on other sites
theone44 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Hey Jerry what up man and i been reading your post for a while,so i decided to respond to u. Man u need to take advice from what the other posting are telling u. Stay away from this girl man.....she just using u as a dormant and safety net,so if it don't work -out with the other guy she with,she got u to fall back on. Boy i wish my lady who broke up with me 3 month ago,would at least call me,but i been doing the no contact for several months now. U need to the same Jerry man,back off from her,no e-mail,no phone call no visiting,no text.......no nothing and if she really want u back let her chase after u,cause as long as u keep chasing her,u are only pushing her further away from u. At least u still got a chance,she still calling u man. Take advantage of it and back away and do the "NO CONTACT" and when u start to ignore her...she will wake up and want to be back with u,so u see what u being doing isn't working,so try something else. What u are doing right now is not proceed as attractive to her, and women do not like emotional,needy weak men . Women like strong confidence,take charge type of man....with self control and they love a challenge.... man.....Wake up Jerry and smell the coffee,before it to late man Joe!!!!!!!! Mark: 10-27-With man it's impossible;but with God all things are possible. Link to post Share on other sites
dcgent45 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Well Jerry, Please excuse me for being harsh, but you know what...so many people have been giving your solid information over the last 6 months...and a few people gave you the same good information many, many, many times. And you would say that you were going to take it...but then a few hours later or a day or so later...you are back to square one...embarassing yourself by posting about what happened when she tried calling you, and you said this and she got mad. I know it is hard for you to see sometimes that someone is screwing you. In fact, you still don't see this. But so many of us have told you a 1,000 times to stay away from her. Go out and do something constructive and don't ever deal with her again, period!!! But you keep giving us all these reasons why you should still be in touch with her...and you believe them, and the you come back and whine about it. Honestly...you are repeatedly getting burned by the fire, and it hurts, but you love it. Whether it is because you are completely naive and don't realized it, or you love the attention you receive from it all. Continuing to live like this makes you an accident waiting to happen. Everyone has told you to seek professional help. Look into it. And don't tell me you can't afford it. You know you can, so do it. If you can't afford to help yourself...then you shouldn't be able to afford a PS2 etc... Now I might be coming off as harsh, but you need to have a slap in the face to wake up. You are a walking zoombie. We all have low points in our lives...but come on man...this is pathetic. Go get some Zoloft, find some new hobbie. Devote your time to soemthing important, instead of soem girl that treats you like crap and drags you soul around. but you know what...if you enjoy it...keep doing it. But quit sounding like a geek and saying you wish you would get in a car crash...that is the lame, most selfish thing I have every heard. When I say I laugh, it is I can't believe your ignorance and complete lack of self worth. Get better by seeking help from a professional, not websurfers...that are in between Halo games...come on now!!!!!!!!!!1 Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by jerryinva Interestingly enough, I was just playing the PS2, and jamming to some music from my laptop with my expensive work headphones..and didn't hear the phone ring. Dude, how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
dcgent45 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 That does sound pretty funny. I think he said he was 36. I remember I was shocked, as I figured he was 20 something. People, read all the previous posts to get an idea of what you are dealing with... Link to post Share on other sites
SadAndLonely Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 So people in their 30's aren't allowed to play video games? Crap...I better throw my consoles out in a couple of months, then, as I'm just reaching that cusp. Link to post Share on other sites
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