no time for me

[Casssie]

I am a really independent person. A young single mom with a

 

good job, a house, lots of friends.

 

I began dating a man two years ago when I was seperated. We

 

had been friends a long time prior to this.

 

I ended our relationship recently because he was not making

 

any quality time for me.

 

My problem is that I always start to regret completely

 

ending things with him and usually will call and offer

 

friendship..which lasts all of two days and then we get

 

back together. I know our relationship is not fated

 

to work out. He is unable to express emotion to me and

 

makes no time to do fun things together. I just need to

 

know how to stay away this time. A big part of me wanted

 

to remain friends but please..this has never worked and the

 

truth is I want more than friendship. How do I stick to my

 

choice of letting him go.

[Tony T]

Albert Einstein defined insanity as repeating the same thing but expecting a different result each time. It seems you've been there.

 

Learn your lesson and move on. Nobody can do that for you.

 

The best thing you can do is open yourself to other people and opportunities. There are many men who would love to be with you and could offer you the fun experiences and the emotional support you seek in a man.

 

I am assuming you have told this man very clearly what your needs are in a realtionship and he doesn not have the ability to provide those for you...or is just not willing to try.

 

If you keep going back to this guy and having it fail each time, read above what Eistein said about that. I'm sure you don't want to be put in that classification.

[Vikki]

Been there, done that. I know how hard it is. Logically you know how it will end up, emotionally you want the intimacy. It's a fight between head and heart. Stay in your head when you are with him, if you feel you can't do that without your emotions coming into it then perhaps you should stay away from him at this point. Give yourself some time and space to put your emotions where they need to be. You really can't go from being emotionally connected to friends over night. You know that. It's hard but you have to do it otherwise you'll just keep repeating the same thing over and over with the same result. Love yourself enough to not do that to yourself.

[Casssie]

Good advice..and well taken.

 

It's just too bad I didn't check on the responses

 

before I sent him a letter! Oh well. It doesn't

 

really change anything, Einstein is right, I think I'll

 

tape that saying to a wall.

 

Sincere thanks.

Albert Einstein defined insanity as repeating the same thing but expecting a different result each time. It seems you've been there. Learn your lesson and move on. Nobody can do that for you. The best thing you can do is open yourself to other people and opportunities. There are many men who would love to be with you and could offer you the fun experiences and the emotional support you seek in a man. I am assuming you have told this man very clearly what your needs are in a realtionship and he doesn not have the ability to provide those for you...or is just not willing to try. If you keep going back to this guy and having it fail each time, read above what Eistein said about that. I'm sure you don't want to be put in that classification.

[Casssie]

Thanks Vicki,

 

you are right..sometimes logic goes out the door and

 

we continue in patterns that are not healthy but that

 

feel safe. I appreciate your taking the time to

 

help me remember what's important.

Been there, done that. I know how hard it is. Logically you know how it will end up, emotionally you want the intimacy. It's a fight between head and heart. Stay in your head when you are with him, if you feel you can't do that without your emotions coming into it then perhaps you should stay away from him at this point. Give yourself some time and space to put your emotions where they need to be. You really can't go from being emotionally connected to friends over night. You know that. It's hard but you have to do it otherwise you'll just keep repeating the same thing over and over with the same result. Love yourself enough to not do that to yourself.

[Vikki]

Geez I feel all gooey inside knowing that by simply expressing my opinion it helped you remember. THANK YOU!

 

Warm Hugs to You :-))