Old friends, turned lovers

[lostinlove1987]

This is kind of a complicated situation. I met my ex husband while in the military, and we got divorced and went our separate ways. Much to my surprise I bumped into an old mutual friend of mine and my ex who was in the same military unit as us, in the town I now live in. Come to find out he is originally from this place.

 

Anyway, we exchanged numbers in a totally innocent manner and started hanging out here and there. This has been going on for almost 6 months now, and each time we are together my feelings for him get stronger. I asked him how he felt about our new romance and he said that it is a little weird for him being that we knew each other while I was married. I completely understand that, so I have been hesitant to tell him how I really feel about him for fear of losing him.

 

He is a few years younger than me, which is also something different as I have always dated older men. Our physical romance didn't begin until about 3 months after we started hanging out. I have never made love to someone like the way we do together. It is so passionate and is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I feel like a teenager who is crazy about this boy and can't stop thinking about him.

 

I want to tell him how I feel, but he keeps talking about moving away since he also just got out of the military and doesn't want to stick around his hometown. He spends most of his free time with me though. He is great with my child too. I just feel like myself when we're together, like I don't have to change anything to make him happy.

 

I keep tossing these thoughts around in my mind. I think about the fact that we probably wouldn't be in this predicament now if we had never bumped into each other that day. I feel like something about this whole ordeal is wrapped up in fate. I had been extremely depressed and having a very hard time until he came into my life. He also just got out of a marriage so I feel bad for wanting to be in a relationship with him so soon, but I can't keep denying my feelings for him. I just don't know where to go from here. It hurts me to hide my love, but I don't want to burden him with that when he has made other plans for his future. I don't want to hold him back from that, if that makes any sense.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I am just confused and hiding these feelings amplifies the loneliness factor tenfold.