Its_MEE Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 This is so hard... I've followed all the devise I've gotten from here and real life... Although me and MM work together (as many already know) and must communicate at work, I have given him ZERO conversation since yesterday morning. I haven't even looked him in the eyes! My biggest weakness was lunch time because we've met for lunch everyday for over a year. But I'm glad to say I did not meet him yesterday and I did not meet him today. I'm actually on lunch alone.. I decided me leaving before him is the key because then he doesn't even get to see me right before he leaves.. So this morning... I walk in dispatch office to grab my papers and we almost bump into each other because he was coming in and I was going out.. He, purposefully, bumped my arm and smiles and says wassup CC.. I say to him... Stop before I embarrass you in front if these people and walked away.. I get to the door, he calls my name out and points at me with a huge smile... I go in... W.t.f is he doing???!!!!what is happening???! Dissect this for me. Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 he is trying his damndest to get you to pay attention to him and expect it to get more intense as your NC goes on. he is trying to break you down and get something..anything from you. Did you make your NC wishes known to him? Link to post Share on other sites
bellasue Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 Sounds to me like he's panicking because you might actually be following through on NC. Hang tough and don't give in. The first couple of weeks are the hardest, in my opinion. And I don't even work with xMM. Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 also, my MM hated being ignored or given the cold shoulder and if I did that he would push until he got some kind of reaction from me. it was a blow to his ego as I'm sure it is to your MMs. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 This is so hard... I've followed all the devise I've gotten from here and real life... Although me and MM work together (as many already know) and must communicate at work, I have given him ZERO conversation since yesterday morning. I haven't even looked him in the eyes! My biggest weakness was lunch time because we've met for lunch everyday for over a year. But I'm glad to say I did not meet him yesterday and I did not meet him today. I'm actually on lunch alone.. I decided me leaving before him is the key because then he doesn't even get to see me right before he leaves.. So this morning... I walk in dispatch office to grab my papers and we almost bump into each other because he was coming in and I was going out.. He, purposefully, bumped my arm and smiles and says wassup CC.. I say to him... Stop before I embarrass you in front if these people and walked away.. I get to the door, he calls my name out and points at me with a huge smile... I go in... W.t.f is he doing???!!!!what is happening???! Dissect this for me. I don't know why, but this totally creeps me out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Its_MEE Posted May 16, 2013 Author Share Posted May 16, 2013 This guy sounds creepy and full of himself. This is not surprising. In any event NC as you are doing it is not real NC. You are playing a game. How come you think I'm playing a game P? Just curious because I asked myself the same question this morning... He thinks I'm playing a game. And now I sort if realize that he is actually trying to get his ego up because its feeling low.. His daily dose of me I guess... He showed up while I was at lunch.. I told him that he needs to seriously stop trying to fight me on this. He wants this and now I want it. I don't want I see him anymore and we are only speaking when our job is the topic. he says...."Ben (coworker) said something to me today... He was talking about his wife and that years ago he was dating her sister and started falling in love with her... It came a point where he asked himself... In 20 years, I don't want to think that this woman was the one that got away..." WTF Link to post Share on other sites
Nattie Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 also, my MM hated being ignored or given the cold shoulder and if I did that he would push until he got some kind of reaction from me. it was a blow to his ego as I'm sure it is to your MMs. I can relate to this SO much. I can't tell you how many times we would go 4-5 days without talking, and I would start to breathe easy thinking it had run it's course... the second he felt like I was moving on and ignoring him, he'd BLOW up my phone. I got sucked back into it every single time... not anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 I relate so much to this.. I want to PM you but I don't know how..lol Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 How come you think I'm playing a game P? Just curious because I asked myself the same question this morning... He thinks I'm playing a game. And now I sort if realize that he is actually trying to get his ego up because its feeling low.. His daily dose of me I guess... He showed up while I was at lunch.. I told him that he needs to seriously stop trying to fight me on this. He wants this and now I want it. I don't want I see him anymore and we are only speaking when our job is the topic. he says...."Ben (coworker) said something to me today... He was talking about his wife and that years ago he was dating her sister and started falling in love with her... It came a point where he asked himself... In 20 years, I don't want to think that this woman was the one that got away..." WTF he is filling you with false hope to try to get you to still pine after him. think about it, the ego boost he would get from knowing he can keep you hooked and still want him just by giving you some attention. I'm sure he finds it extremely gratifying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Its_MEE Posted May 16, 2013 Author Share Posted May 16, 2013 Saturday night his w calls me from his phone while he was asleep demanding they I no longer contact him and that he better not contact me anymore.. She tracked allll of the times that we communicated on the cell phones. So every time I want to break NC I think of the fact that I had just finished crying my eyes out while he was back asleep next to his w... I do t think I'm playing a game at all.. But I am noticing how this is getting his attention.. Ridiculous.. I called him out on all I it today and told him to please respect me. . Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 it's MEE, Oh UGH!! Can I be Mad at him with you OR for you?!?! Remember how I posted (of course you remember me from the thousands of others posting to you... duh) about the different "approaches" he may/will attempt until he hits the nerve that will get you to respond/light up to him again? It sounds like he is on approach style #17 (I just made that up )* In that he has attempting to catch your eye with his dazzling smile and addictive personality and that little *gleam* in his eye that is just for you. Have you responded with an even more brilliantly dazzling smile then told him "absolutely baby! I'm all yours and ssSSOOooo excited!! Let me see the finalized signed D papers and I'll Drag you back to my place*"?!?! Stay strong it's MEE. If you want him, all of him, then it can only be through his D. He does that, and you'll KNOW he's ready to be with you* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Its_MEE Posted May 16, 2013 Author Share Posted May 16, 2013 He's pathetic... But I love him... But... He's pathetic... Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 it's MEE, Didn't he also, right after you told him NC (or LC cause you work together) use approach #4, Pulling at your heartstrings via showing his parental, fatherly side when he met you for lunch and brought his baby for you to love on? So, from what you have wrote, he has attempted two different approaches to get you back in the A. The ONLY approach that should work on you is the D Approach. It is... let me see (making up a # in my head...it burns*) number, uhhh... #42! that's it! #42. It is usually close to the last on the list because some MM try Everything else First before they Follow-through with D and make your love official. Kind of when all else fails might as well live authentically with the woman I love thing. So they finally decide to D or R 100%. You Are Not Pathetic. Just in a really bad place. Heartache is debilitating and I am sad you are in this place right now* Please don't misinterpret my attempt at levity as minimizing. It is my way of being honest and sincere with you in regards to what you write. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthbetold Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 Saturday night his w calls me from his phone while he was asleep demanding they I no longer contact him and that he better not contact me anymore.. She tracked allll of the times that we communicated on the cell phones. So every time I want to break NC I think of the fact that I had just finished crying my eyes out while he was back asleep next to his w... I do t think I'm playing a game at all.. But I am noticing how this is getting his attention.. Ridiculous.. I called him out on all I it today and told him to please respect me. . Ok, it must be hard for you in the thick of things to see things clearly. You write this out, but you're not absorbing this. Just a few days ago you wrote how she wasn't even living there and "he" didn't know if he wanted her back:rolleyes: The more you continue this, the more you're going to lose your self respect. If he's back with his wife that's enough for you to shut the door and tell him to eff off period. You do seem to be playing a game of hard to get so he'll pursue you more, it's not going to work that way. Sounds like he's back with his wife, told her he wouldn't contact you and he's back trying to get you back where he wants you. You're mistaking this as sincere effort on his part to want a divorce. It's pretty clear that it isn't what he wants or he would take this opportunity to leave, not tell his wife he won't contact you. Oh and he never did respect you, evidenced by his actions. He doesn't know the definition and you acting in the come hither, but push him away only solidifies to him he doesn't have to. Protect your child if not yourself. You still have no idea what will happen if he somehow lets it slip or someone who has seen you out with their child tells her. This is insanity and he's not playing with a full deck, so you need to do the right thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Its_MEE Posted May 16, 2013 Author Share Posted May 16, 2013 Ok, it must be hard for you in the thick of things to see things clearly. You write this out, but you're not absorbing this. Just a few days ago you wrote how she wasn't even living there and "he" didn't know if he wanted her back:rolleyes: You're right... Like tunnel vision. Like a drug addict. Powerless to this addiction that I am trying to get myself out of. I'm saying "I'll never touch that stuff again" knowing in your mind you want nothing more than a hit. It is taking me long to start absorbing it because I will go through withdrawal. But... I have to do it. The more you continue this, the more you're going to lose your self respect. If he's back with his wife that's enough for you to shut the door and tell him to eff off period. You do seem to be playing a game of hard to get so he'll pursue you more, it's not going to work that way. Sounds like he's back with his wife, told her he wouldn't contact you and he's back trying to get you back where he wants you. You're mistaking this as sincere effort on his part to want a divorce. It's pretty clear that it isn't what he wants or he would take this opportunity to leave, not tell his wife he won't contact you. i don't think I am playing... But seeing his reaction towards this (I must see him) makes me feel good... Like I took control back. Control of me. All the other things I have also thought about. But in my shoes. I won't ever report him to HR. and he seems like he is going to start to mentally F me til I break. I'm not emotionless so I can have the poker face in person but it will f wit my emotions. I get it. He's home. Back home where he should've been all along.. He was borrowed. But what. If? What if? What if? What if? What if? That's all that swirls through me. I need IC. Oh and he never did respect you, evidenced by his actions. He doesn't know the definition and you acting in the come hither, but push him away only solidifies to him he doesn't have to. Protect your child if not yourself. You still have no idea what will happen if he somehow lets it slip or someone who has seen you out with their child tells her. This is insanity and he's not playing with a full deck, so you need to do the right thing. I have also thought about this. This all has left me paranoid like a pot smokin teen. Update on my feelings... Inexplicable really... Like insanity mixed with a stomach ache. Constant. Ruined pillow cases... Sore knuckles from trying to punch random stuff(lol). Hollow. Overwhelmed. My day to day has been a blurt of awesomely masked emotions. Like the ladies on the depression commercials. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Change jobs and change your phone number. You do seen like its a game because it seems to be designed to get a reaction our of him. Now it's working. That's gross. Change jobs and expose him to the company. The only way is by honesty. File harassment charges if he won't leave you alone. That's what a woman of strength would do. You need to take serious action! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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