crazydawg Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Should u be nice to ur ex if they treat u like crap. ? Basically i saw my ex we broke 3 months ago and we saw each other last week. It was a bad experience i told ehr how i felt and i got nothing in return. In fact she was kinda cold to me. Anyway today my old ex drove me to school. She saw us and i just kept walking. She saw me later in the day and kept walking. Then we came person by person walking and she winked at me and i kept walking didn't even flinch. So stupid me i im her later in the day and i said what was the wink for. She then flipped out on my saying my ex is a bitch, she's ugly, she said i proved to her how i really am. She said i'm no man if i can't say hi to her in front of my ex. Meanwhile she did the same thing to me the week before and i bitched but didn't take it as far as she did. Anyway, she said i proved everything to ger and she said i have to go bye and waited like 10 secs (i kknew it was for me to say something) i just let her sign off. Did i do the right thing. I defended somewhat my ex ex and i told her she's not my gf. But she was serously hating. I never once talked about the guy she dumped me for but this time i came out and called him a piece of ****. She said how is he a Piece of ****. Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I've often wondered if there is something to be said for being nice to an ex who treated you like crap just so that they will regret what they lost even more..ie..being the bigger person...they may not admit it now, but years down the road, they might think that so and so was a great person even when I was a jerk...my ex's b-day is this Fri...he is still with the much younger girl who he was seeing behind my back and chose over me..but part of me really wants to send him a short email saying happy bday, have a great year...just so he will regret......This is NOT about me wanting him back......I wouldn't go there...what do you think.... Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 The reason why your ex flipped out is simple. She's a bit jealous of your ex-ex. She feels like she has to compare herself to her which is why she called her all those names. It's what women do though. We're always curious to what our boyfriends dated in the past and if we break up, who they date in the future. Your ex is just being catty and immature. Just forget about her and find someone worthy of your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Bitter, table for one..... I agree with Liekela, your ex girlfriend is all good with the two of you being broke up... ya know as long as you continue to kiss her a**, and never ever date anyone again... LOL She's jealous... blow it off, and you know what, she broke up with you right? So you don't owe her any kind of an explanation as to who you're seeing or not seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I don't want to take over the thread...but input about my previous post would be so helpful....what to do when an ex has a b-day, or it's Christmas...etc...be the bigger person and be "nice" and acknowledge the occasion and may be someday they will see how stupid they are....(NOT ABOUT WANTING TO GET BACK TOGETHER, JUST MAKE HIM REGRET WHAT HE HAS LOST) Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Originally posted by snilljente I don't want to take over the thread...but input about my previous post would be so helpful....what to do when an ex has a b-day, or it's Christmas...etc...be the bigger person and be "nice" and acknowledge the occasion and may be someday they will see how stupid they are....(NOT ABOUT WANTING TO GET BACK TOGETHER, JUST MAKE HIM REGRET WHAT HE HAS LOST) Snill... Well, I can only speak from my own experience with my EX and I was married to him... crap! LOL I give my EX the same thing for every holiday and birthday he has... it's always the right color, the right size and the look on his face is always priceless.... A big box of Jacksh*t nothing, and the knowledge that I'm a lot happier without him. I don't know that I think it's a matter of being the bigger person honestly... when a relationship is over, it's over. Maybe for me (because I really don't care) it's easier... I divorced him and I honestly have no feelings for him at all... not hate or love... just indifference. Trust me that when someone looses a person that really was/is special... they already know they are stupid... YOU, your time is the best gift you ever gave to this guy Snill and if he didn't appreciate that, well then thats his loss;) Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Merin...I just don't get it..I KNOW that I am obsessing about this...but I am STUCK..I can't move on...I can't understand...why he dumped me for HER...not to brag, but I hear all of the time that I am pretty, intelligent, etc....and that she is an OK looking girl, but a b$%tch and high maintenance....I wish I could get past this....I wanted SO BAD for things to work out with him....he was the first guy that I have dated in YEARS that I was really into.....I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with me....His mom even told me that she had told him that "you have gold, why are you throwing it away".....I need to figure this out! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Originally posted by snilljente Merin...I just don't get it..I KNOW that I am obsessing about this...but I am STUCK..I can't move on...I can't understand...why he dumped me for HER...not to brag, but I hear all of the time that I am pretty, intelligent, etc....and that she is an OK looking girl, but a b$%tch and high maintenance....I wish I could get past this....I wanted SO BAD for things to work out with him....he was the first guy that I have dated in YEARS that I was really into.....I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with me....His mom even told me that she had told him that "you have gold, why are you throwing it away".....I need to figure this out! Snill, stop beating up on yourself girl! These are HIS issue's and there is NOTHING wrong with you! You are obviously an intelligent, compassionate person... I'm sure you're very pretty and fun to be with... This guy just isn't the person for you, and that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, or that the girl he is seeing now is better than you are. You will get past this in time Snill... as bitter as the pill is right now to swallow (and believe me i've had my share of those and damn it if I don't still find myself getting a big a** glass of water to wash it down!) TIEMPO... Time is an amazing thing... You don't need to give this guy a card or a gift because it's his birthday... YOU already gave him something more important and priceless... your heart. He didn't take care of that the way he should've... He WILL have regret Snill... Time works both ways like that... it may not be today and it may not be tomorrow... but everyone and I do mean EVERYONE gets the chance to burn. I divorced my husband because he just couldn't seem to keep it in his pants... ugh! The girl he hooked up with... well let's just say, ((((((( ))))) LOL and I mean that! I'm 5'5 34-24-34 I'm a surgical assistant... I cooked for his sorry butt, I kept our house cleeeaaannn! We had rockin sex;) LOL and you know what, he still couldn't keep it in his pants! Well... she didn't last long... and now he is with another one (who just had a baby with him) she isn't cute and from what I can tell she isn't to strong of an individual... and guess what? He is cheating on her... go figure... Snill, you are an awesome person, NOTHING wrong with you except you made the mistake of giving your heart to someone who didn't and doesn't deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Two more things... Crazydawg... sorry about Highjacking your post:) and last thing... SNILL, my EX would give anything to have me back... that it my gift to myself! LOL It feels so good to NOT want him... Tiempo. Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 THanks for listening....We should PM...I need a voice of reason like yours...YOu sound like an intelligent and fit (tiny waist!! lady....I guess I was just so shocked by his behavior because he had me SO convinced that he adored me..he was perfect in every way...UNTIL I found out about her.......It's one thing to hear about these guys on tv..and from other people..but when it hits close to home, it a whole other experience....I do hope he regrets...I hope someday when I am out and about with my handsome husband (imaginary at this point, he he) and out two beautiful kids and I am still in great shape and he has a big ol beer belly and is with some b%^ch..he will see me and think...damn..I must have been one stupid SOB... ....I know I sound ridiculous, but he just hurt me so bad...and he knew what I had been through with my divorce...he promised he was a good guy, bla, bla bla.....I KNOW I have to stop blaming myself and you are right...time is amazing....I give it a few more months and I am sure I will be MUCH better and thinking much LESS about him...thanks for your encouragement... Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazydawg Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 ok back to the topic =) good info everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 crazydawg - c'mmon, share more ! snilljente - he knows you're obssesing about him. He just knows. Because it's normal after what he pulled on you. No woman in her right mind would not obsess about having been cheated with someone below her. So do not write one thing to him. Even if you run into him the same day. Burry him into total oblivion. It'll sting like hell. I mean why write? To let him know that you've remembered? To let him know you're a nice person? To let him know you are still thinking about him? That he still is part of your life? No way, girl. He wanted high maintenance, he can have high maintenance! FOREVER ! I think in 4 months top he'll have enough of b!tching for the rest of his life ! Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 THanks guys....I appreciate your support..especially when I was feeling weak about sending a b-day card....I won't he doesn't deserve it...Crazydog.....your ex is just jealous...next time she goes off on you, just calmly tell her that you have moved on and suggest she does to. I am a bit confused..your ex is jealous of your ex ex...or the other way around...you sound like a busy guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazydawg Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 i think that this is turning out for the worse. Yes she is jealous of the ex before her. I've never seen her that mad. I've tried getting back with her. I'm starting to see that she wants to still stay with the man she has and keep me stringing me along. She doesn't want me happy, as you can see everytime i'm known to be with someone even as a friend. She flips out and its my fault. I'm tired. Emotionally and Physcially she gives me mixed signals then takes them back. I've treated this girl with respect. I was very good to her but i always put my foot down when she was wrong. Now i get treated like nothing. She walks by me in school without saying anything and apologized online for it. Thats no way to be treated. I wish god can give me the strength to move on, and if she still has feelings to give her the guidance to stop ****in with me. If anyone wants to chat about there porblems im me Princeofbr00klyn Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Well, she'll do that to you any ime she feels like it because you let her. You're her toy and even if she doesn't like you anymore, no one has the right to play with you. That's how much she respects you. Now you know... Deal with it ! Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 I say the best thing you can do with an ex who doesnt treat you well is to be nice to them. It takes a lot to do that but if you can you will eventually get the supreme satisfaction down the road when they realize they were acting like asses and apologize or they realize just what they lost with you. Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 If you want them back, yes. If you act hurt by the way they treat or treated you, then they will know that they have gotten to you and they won't stop. But, if you act happy and indiffernet about it, then they will know that you are over it and you will be in charge - not them! Link to post Share on other sites
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