rizzla Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Sorry but I need to vent about this. It's been 3 months since my cheating wife asked for divorce. So far I've been doing well, exercising, trying to meet new people (tougher than it looks) etc. I had some numb feeling but it was Ok. Today I found out that she's expanding our old business and then got a huge electricity bill for when she was still around. I'm broke and she took the business with her. For some reason I started crying my guts out for over 20 minutes, feeling guilty as hell. So recovery is not a linear process, guys. It can be a twisted path with unexpected pits and holes. I promise that I'll be right here, posting the good news when things get better. You all deserve this for your support along the icy road. Link to post Share on other sites
Kay_29 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 The world is a cruel place..... best revenge is through your own happiness, every event that occurs happens for a reason sounds cliche but events like this make us into better people if you know how to take the lesson from it. Cry your heart out to get everything out of your system its part of the healing process and it'll take time. Time to build a new you and break free from this hurt your going through... in life we all go through hurt dont make it turn you into a bitter person your broken free from a situtaion time to enjoy a new life..... release !!!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rizzla Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 Thanks Kay for the kind words. I don't know if these little personal tragedies happen for a reason, but I agree in trying to let the pain out of the system and taking a lesson from it. I've lost a lot of weight (probably too much) and my clothes don't fit anymore. I've reading and understanding a lot in the last few weeks, but I haven't been too good at getting hands-on. I wouldn't say I've been procrastinating, I'm just not in the right mood yet. I force myself through baby steps, but then there are some slow weeks, where I see she has made formidable progress (taking advantage of my old business) and I'm still stuck with debts. I literally count the coins in my pocket in order to buy some food. I'd love to get out of this madness quicker, but it'll take a long road. Link to post Share on other sites
MyRuka Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Hang in there. You have a right to everything you are feeling and you will survive this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rizzla Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 Thanks MyRuka. I know I'll survive, what's the alternative? I'm paralyzed. I have no idea how to get a new job. I'm 46 and living in a different city from my hometown. Not many friends around. I spend most of my days completely alone. She has moved with the OM accross the street. I'm terrified to meet them on the street any day, so I don't go out much. It is hard, though I know I'll survive. Link to post Share on other sites
Kay_29 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 dont be scared of running into them i think if it happens sooner than later your get over it quicker you'll snap into reality of the situation... right now your letting her control your happiness, your giving her to much power and she doesnt deserve it.... your first step right now is to heal yourself of the hurt... and then to forgive her, when you have forgivness in your heart your not holding onto anything and you can move on. Losing weight is normal stress can make you lose your appetite, i lost 15lbs from stress of a bad break up your not alone... slowly but surely hang in there!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author rizzla Posted May 25, 2013 Author Share Posted May 25, 2013 dont be scared of running into them i think if it happens sooner than later your get over it quicker you'll snap into reality of the situation... right now your letting her control your happiness, your giving her to much power and she doesnt deserve it.... your first step right now is to heal yourself of the hurt... and then to forgive her, when you have forgivness in your heart your not holding onto anything and you can move on. Losing weight is normal stress can make you lose your appetite, i lost 15lbs from stress of a bad break up your not alone... slowly but surely hang in there!! Thanks Kay! LS helps more than I could have imagined. I'm usually the type who keeps everything close to his chest, not letting emotions show. Somehow, being in this forum is the only chance I have to reach out and exchange experiencies, and it's helping me a lot for recovery. My friends are starting to worry about how skinny I am. Before I had an athletic complexion, some muscles. Now my t-shirts are XS size. If I keep losing weight I'll have to buy my clothes in the kids section! I don't want to give her any more power. In fact strict NC has helped, so I was just guessing these are normal symptons of the grieving and depression. But I don't know how long I can pretend that everything's OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 You are a little bit behind me in timeline, I wanted to say that you are doing very well...with a positive attitude I still have very up and down days, but they are not as strong and don't last as long as they did in the early days...so it does get easier as time goes on If people are telling you that you are looking too skinny then you must be badly underweight! You really need to get onto of this as you'll make yourself ill, have you been to a GP?? Maybe worth having a chat with your doctor or therapist...have you had a weight issue at all before? Don't let her see you dwindling away try to focus on getting fit and healthy again for your mental health....to help you feel good n move forward SS Link to post Share on other sites
Author rizzla Posted May 25, 2013 Author Share Posted May 25, 2013 You are a little bit behind me in timeline, I wanted to say that you are doing very well...with a positive attitude I still have very up and down days, but they are not as strong and don't last as long as they did in the early days...so it does get easier as time goes on If people are telling you that you are looking too skinny then you must be badly underweight! You really need to get onto of this as you'll make yourself ill, have you been to a GP?? Maybe worth having a chat with your doctor or therapist...have you had a weight issue at all before? Don't let her see you dwindling away try to focus on getting fit and healthy again for your mental health....to help you feel good n move forward SS Yes Suzie, I need to regain some weight. I had some weight lost in the past, after another difficult breakup but I guess it has also to do with me living alone and "forgetting" to eat lunch, etc, so it's also my fault. I stopped exercising because of back pain, but I'll start again as soon as it fades out. Your input is very useful since you got a head start in the breakup How long since your BU? Link to post Share on other sites
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