My ex girlfriend who cheated on me texted me

[razmatazzz]

The reason I'm writing is because a part of me still has feelings (I dont understand why) for this girl I will call tammy. She texted me the other day saying hey baby and it got me thinking about her and I just need advice from people that arent my friends and will just tell me what I want to hear and plus some of them have cheated on their gf's before so I dont really care as to what they say. I will start all the way from the time I met her because I feel it's important to understand the entire context.

 

So basically I met Tammy one night at a party and we ended having a three-some with her friend claire who I knew and wanted to have sex with me for a while. I knew tammy for less than two hours. Tammy and I were getting our diddily on in her room and her friend Claire kept banging on the door to let her in so she did. Claire immeadiately hoped on the bed and began sucking on my lollipop and then Tammy got into it. But after a few minutes Tammy wanted claire to leave because Tammy 'liked' me but Claire and I convinced her that you only live once so we ended up romping for three hours.

 

I didn't like Tammy in an intimate way but she did for me, and the only reason I kept texting her was because we had great sex and I just wanted to have sex again. But as I got to know her more I began to have feelings for her. So I took her out on a couple dates and we ended up going out.

 

Tammy's bestfriend (who I will call Angie) lives out of state. Angie had a boyfriend (Eric) who was one of Tammy's neighbors. They went out for two weeks and broke up since it was a long distance thing. Well, after Angie broke up with Eric, Tammy had sex with Eric a couple weeks later (This was a month before I met Tammy). So Angie was back in town and found out a few days after Tammy and I were going out that that entire incident happened. I didn't really give a **** at the time about it cause the dude was ugly and I just didn't care. But apparently Tammy had feelings for this dude a while back and that's the reason she did it and since Angie lived out of state anyway and was going out with the guy for two weeks it didn't seem too bad to me.

 

Now I found out through one of Tammy's guy friends that Tammy thought I would cheat on her because I partyed too much and have had sex with alot of girls in the past. Now I know I have done a lot of girls wrong (in their minds) before and had one night stands with alot of girls who liked me more intimately, but I would never cheat on my girlfriend. I have had five girlfriends in my life and have never cheated on one of them and never would. So her saying that about me raised a red flag in my mind. Perhaps this girl would cheat on me because she wouldn't have those feelings unless she really thought she would cheat on me (Oh yeah, Tammy had a boyfriend for 3 1/2 yrs that she cheated on; The thing was that she moved out of state from the guy for college and it became a long distance thing for them so it made sense because I don't believe long distance relationships work).

 

Now one day, a couple weeks after we were going out, I was in her apartment in the morning and Tammy went too class. I had class at 11 and I told Tammy I would skip my first class (we would walk to school together) because we had stayed up really late. Well I ended up over sleeping past my class. I was still in Tammy's bed naked and Tammy came home from school....but not alone. She came into the room and guess who was just standing at her bedroom door behind her.... Eric. She went into her closest and grabbed a sweatshirt he had left at her place, gave it too him and he left. She immeadiately jumped ontop of me and kissed me. I got her off of me and was like wtf is this guy doing here. And so she told me he left his sweatshirt there and asked for it back. I mean I did see her give him a sweatshirt but why the **** would the guy come up too her room for? She thought I would be gone by the time she got back from class but I had slept in. I got very mad with her and broke up with her for a couple hours and decided to take her back since nothing had actually happened, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

 

As our relationship progressed, we ended up falling in love with each other. She told me things like, "I went out with a guy for 3 1/2 yrs and I have never felt this way for him like I do for you" and " I never saw myself being a mom until I met you." We spent literally all the time with each other. Like I literally lived at her place, I was there every single night, every moment. So I could never see a time she could cheat on me unless it was a couple hours during class.

 

She is a jealous type and would see me talking to a lot of girls at parties. She began to get mad at me because she said we would only do things I would want to do. And so we began to fight more often about petty ****. At a party at her place one night, some girl came up to me when I was by her and began flirting with me and falling me around. I'm honestly just a friendly guy so I'll engage in conversations with people who come talk to me, I don't give other girls a cold shoulder just cause my girlfriend is next too me, im just not that kind of person. So as the party grew I ended up getting distracted talking to people and we were away from each other for a couple hours. So when the party ended I went upstairs to her room and she broke up with me cause I wasn't treating her right apparently.

 

For the next few days I could not stop thinking about her and feeling like it was my fault we broke and me talking to other people and all this other **** I described was my fault and it was my fault why we broke up. I ended up taking her out on a date and the next day we were going out again, less than a week after we broke up.

 

So we were going back out, and there was a party that next night that she said she wanted to go too. And before we were about to leave with her friends to go to the party, she suddenly changed her mind. Now I know why she did this, she just wanted to play a game with me and see if I get agitated by the fact she changed her mind. And yeah I did get agitated because I don't like playing dumb games like that, it's childish in my mind. But everything was fine and we didn't get into a fight about her but I let her know that I knew what she was doing and that was that.

 

And so the next day everything was fine, we went to the pool and I barbequed while she laid out tanning with her friend Angie who was back in town visiting. As she brought me home later that afternoon, she told me she was going to have a girls night with her friend Angie who was leaving in two days.

 

Now let me take a step back and explain something very important to the story. Tammy has a roommate (Vanessa). Now Vanessa had been slamming one of my friends (daniel) and Vanessa had very strong feelings for daniel but the two were not going out, infact Daniel had no plans of going out with her and has stated this openly. But Vanessa liked Daniel a lot, like a lot. So much that she would tell her friends that they were pretty much going out, but Daniel was just leading her on for sex. Now back to the day I was talking about.

 

My bestfriend (Cory) had been texting me later when I got back to my apartment, however, I was napping and missed his texts. He had been wanting to know where I was at. Now Cory knew I was always at Tammy's place so he went over to her place that night too come see me. When he got there, Daniel was over there with alcohol drinking with Tammy and Angie. The thing was, Vanessa was out of town, she was not there, only Tammy and Angie.

 

Now unaware of this, I texted Tammy before I texted Cory and she told me that Daniel had just shown up there with alcohol and they began drinking. They all ended up going to the hot tub and drinking and I stayed at my place since I had no car. Now Tammy never asked me to come over after I had texted her but continued to drink with Cory, Angie, and Daniel.

 

And that was that, as far as I knew then. And so the next day I called Tammy after she got off work and she broke up with me, telling me she was not ready for a relationship. This caught me off guard obviously since we just got back together and she told me how much she loved me again and how everything felt perfect. I instinctively knew something was up but talked to my friend Cory and he said they all just drank that night. But all of a sudden after we hung up, I just didn't care, like it was weird I wasn't upset or anything about her breaking up with me, I knew I just had to move on. I just didn't even think about her anymore.

 

And so about a week later, Tammy was back in a relationship with another guy....Eric. It didn't bother me I had already had sex with a girl and I was moving on and so was she.

 

But then a week later, my friend Cory told me he had to talk to me, and told me what happened on that night Daniel was there. Daniel and Tammy made out in the pool, showered with each other, and had sex. The reason he didn't tell me at the time was because he didn't want too upset me and wanted me to get over her before he told me. And then I got very pissed off and I began thinking about her again, thinking about ways to get back at her. And so I told her friend Angie who is now done with her and that stupid girl Tammy really though no one would say anything just because Cory said he wouldnt. But that's not what friends do, they don't hide things from each other like Tammy tried too with Angie.

 

And since then I've had relations with a few other girls, but I still could never get it out of my head the fact I was decieved and cheated on. It makes me mad, I feel like I was played a fool. The sad thing is that while we were going out I could've cheated on her twice but I never could. And when we broke up before we got back together, that first night we broke up I was about to have sex with a girl, but as I began kissing her all I could think about was Tammy and I stopped myself. And now I feel so naive and dumb because she could just do that too me, cheat on me with my friend (no longer my friend) and then go out with Eric a week after we broke up.

 

And so now after a few weeks going out with Eric, they break up and then she texts me "Hey Baby". And for some reason a part of me wants to talk to her again just to see what she says. A part of me still has feelings for her and I don't know why. And a part of me wants to get back with her just so I can hurt her and get back at her. I don't really know, it's been on my mind these last few days and I cannot pinpoint why it has been, I just need some advice.

 

Sorry bout the grammar and spelling, this was a long post and I don't feel like peer editing myself.

[razmatazzz]

bump please reply

[razmatazzz]

I know its a long post but man id appreciate the advice

[chelsea2011]

Hi. Okay, first of all, don't do the revenge thing. That's your ego talking man and it will lead you to do bad things if left unchecked. if you really want this girl to know how you feel about what she did then go to her directly and tell her to her face instead of playing vengeful mind games. She needs to feel the consequences of her actions, so be honest that you're angry about what she did behind your back. Let her know you don't appreciate being jerked around by her jealousy and then screwed over when by her having sex with your friend. I would even go so far as to tell her she ruined any chances with you because you can't trust her now. Be firm and somewhat angry when you tell her so she feels the impact of her actions. If she realy liks you then she will go out of her way to prove that she can be trusted.

 

She may have some self esteem issues and may need a friend to point out that she has boundary problems and is headed down a destructive path.

 

Hope this helps.

[chelsea2011]

Sorry...deleted double post.

[2sunny]

She's scummy - the only response you need to give her text is - lose my number you cheater! Glad we broke up!

[drifter777]

You had a 3-some with her the night you met? She sounds like a really fun girl and a great FWB but come on, she's not girlfriend material. She's not ready for commitment and I doubt that you are either. Just chalk it up to experience and keep living your life. When you really are ready for a committed relationship try to pick a girl that you haven't already had group sex with

[razmatazzz]

Bump anything else

[CarrieT]

And a part of me wants to get back with her just so I can hurt her and get back at her.

 

How would you feel if someone did this to you? Or to a close fried of yours?

 

How old ARE all of you people? Honestly, you sound like teenagers and adolescents, but since you mention the existence of apartments, I have to assume you are older than that if you can afford to live on your own.

 

Run away from all of these people and hang with some folks who have some moral turpitude - or at least ethics... You said you don't like playing dumb games. I'm going to call you on that one because -- well -- what is this "getting back" scenario in your head other than a REALLY dumb game?

[razmatazzz]

 

How old ARE all of you people? Honestly, you sound like teenagers and adolescents, but since you mention the existence of apartments, I have to assume you are older than that if you can afford to live on your own.

 

Run away from all of these people and hang with some folks who have some moral turpitude - or at least ethics... You said you don't like playing dumb games. I'm going to call you on that one because -- well -- what is this "getting back" scenario in your head other than a REALLY dumb game?

 

20 in college. I think she deserves it though because she did it too me and in my mind and played a game with me. IT doesn't seem dumb to do that to her, I kinda feel like she needs to know how it feels.

[2sunny]

20 in college. I think she deserves it though because she did it too me and in my mind and played a game with me. IT doesn't seem dumb to do that to her, I kinda feel like she needs to know how it feels.

 

Ya get what ya give... If you play that game you won't have much happiness in your lifetime.

[Chi townD]

Does she know that you know about Daniel? Or is she clueless to that fact?