a little confused

[choppdogg]

well i getting my questions anserwed and i constantly coming up with more that deal with my situation

 

I know very well that a guy can be to nice and therefore he is no challange ect. I've said before that i'm usually the pursued and not the pursuer but what if I acually want to go for someone? were's the challange there? IF these women which are disappearing after they know ill go out with them, whats going to happen if i'm the pursuer?

 

Choppdogg

[Tony T]

The art of pursuing can be summed up in one sentence, chase until you are caught.

 

The problem that so many people have in love is they don't use their heads, they go with the chemicals. WRONG!!!

 

You can absolutely pursue someone and be a challenge. Don't ask a girl out so often at first. When you are with her be very nice, very kind, but don't try to get affectionate too soon. Set yourself apart from other guys. On the first date, give her a little hug and send her inside. Let her wonder why you didn't go for a little kiss.

 

Then don't call her for three or four days. Then call her, talk to her for 20 minutes or so but don't ask her out...just talk about her...show a great interest in her...but don't ask her out. Then, a few days later, call her, talk a few minutes, and ask her out again. When you go out, have lots of fun and at the end of the date, give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, let her know you had a great time and be on your way.

 

Don't call for a few days. Then call to tell her what a great time you had and you'd like to get together again sometime...but don't ask her out. Wait a few days...then call and ask her out for a day five or six days in advance. Use your own head and move from there.

 

Give her a small gift, some flowers or something very original but not expensive, for no reason at all. This is after you've known her a few months. Send it annonymously with a clever card. Let her call the florist or delivery service to find out who sent it. But don't call her for a few days, even if she leaves a message. She won't be able to figure out why you would send something, not want to get credit for sending it, and then not answer her call when she finds out it's you....and don't tell her when you call her a few days later. Just tell her you are so happy she liked it and you must have forgotten to sign your name.

 

Don't call her every day no matter what. It's very tempting to call someone you really like very often but it burns things out very fast. You can have a woman absolutely burning with desire if you don't come charging after her. She may place a post on this forum wondering what the hell you're all about but she will be mad for you.

 

If you have to ask a question like how you can be a challenge, you obviously don't have a natural knack for it. You better develop it if you want to drive the ladies nuts, keep their interest, and keep your relationships passionate.

 

There does come a time in a relationship where you can be just a bit more available. But when both people get to the point where they take each other for granted, the fun's over. Don't ever let it get to that point. Be unpredictable, inconsistent, and a challenge forever...even after you're married. That's when you're going to need to keep passion going the most.

 

Yes, you bet your butt this is a game, but if you can't win if you can't play. A lot of people who pass by this forum think I'm rotten for suggesting game playing. Sorry, folks, but these strategies not only work but they work damned well...because they're all about human nature. No, nobody wants to be played with but all this can be done in the coolest fashion with nobody catching on at all. The people who post here who are the maddest in love are those who are in love with people they can't figure out. What does that tell you???

 

Just keep in mind, if you are too nice, too available, to easy to figure out, you will be no more desireable to a woman for a personal relationship than the drapes in her bedroom.

 

If you can't take it from here, I'm not going to spell more out for you. If you can't use your own head to pursue and be challenging at the same time, you need a lot more help than I can give you.

 

Why do people have such a hard time with this stuff???

[sparkle]

I don't think I could've said it any better than Tony did.

 

And everything he said DOES work. I'm speaking from experience. No, girls don't like guys playing games with them, but trust me, it works and once you're in a relationship, these types of actions are forgiven because they're just a part of the whole courting process.

 

A guy basically did the same thing to me that Tony said, and it made me chase after him. And I had never chased after a guy before. It drove me crazy that he seemed interested, yet still seemed like a mysterious challenge because I couldn't quite grasp him.

 

Expanding on a few things Tony said, ("don't try to get affectionate too soon" and "just talk about her...show a great interest in her"), this is very good advice. When you talk to a girl at the beginning, Remain MYSTERIOUS. Don't tell her your life story at the beginning. Don't tell her all about yourself at the beginning. You will have plenty of time to do that later. When a guy starts telling the girl too much too soon, she usually becomes uninterested. Instead, ask her questions and talk about her. People LOVE talking about themselves.

 

Hope this helped. Good luck!

 

(by the way, there's a difference between being a challenge--who will still seem interested and be considerate, versus being an uncaring jerk--who will not seem to care at all, will never be available, will never call..etc)

[Tony T]

YOU WROTE: "I don't think I could've said it any better

 

than Tony did."

 

Thank you for the vote of confidence but I'm sure you could have said it sexier!

 

You are supposed to be studying for final exams!!!

[Elmer]

It's always good to find a post that answers a question similar to my own. OK here goes...

 

I went out with some friends on Friday for a game of eightball and had a fair few drinks to improve my game. Enough to also exchange glances with a girl at the next table and buy her and her friend a drink. They eventually came over and played with us. So far so good, but in this pretty charged up state it wasn't too long before we (I?) got a bit affectionate and kissed her etc. Well, quite a few times by the end of the night. It's not like she objected, and she seemed happy that I phoned the next day. I did also email her on Monday - but nothing too mushy or anything.

 

However, I did find out yesterday from a 3rd party that I came across as either too pushy or desperate or SOMETHING. I wasn't out looking for a relationship - just an enjoyable night out with an attractive girl, but now, and after I've broken a few of the game rules, I'd love to get to know her better.

 

I figure this particular game will have to be played very carefully from here on in. Specifics here - should I call her this weekend if she hasn't replied? And should I go out as usual with my friends, taking the chance that if she calls I won't be in (I don't have an answering machine)?

[sparkle]

heheh I'm trying to spend less time reading these posts and more time studying genetic engineering...although this is much more interesting to read

You are supposed to be studying for final exams!!!

[choppdogg]

It's always good to find a post that answers a question similar to my own. OK here goes...

 

I went out with some friends on Friday for a game of eightball and had a fair few drinks to improve my game. Enough to also exchange glances with a girl at the next table and buy her and her friend a drink. They eventually came over and played with us. So far so good, but in this pretty charged up state it wasn't too long before we (I?) got a bit affectionate and kissed her etc. Well, quite a few times by the end of the night. It's not like she objected, and she seemed happy that I phoned the next day. I did also email her on Monday - but nothing too mushy or anything.

 

However, I did find out yesterday from a 3rd party that I came across as either too pushy or desperate or SOMETHING. I wasn't out looking for a relationship - just an enjoyable night out with an attractive girl, but now, and after I've broken a few of the game rules, I'd love to get to know her better. I figure this particular game will have to be played very carefully from here on in. Specifics here - should I call her this weekend if she hasn't replied? And should I go out as usual with my friends, taking the chance that if she calls I won't be in (I don't have an answering machine)?

you know something dude I have found myself in situations like that before where you get a little brave because of your good friend Jack Danials ecourages it. I have learned that I have been very impationed when im interested in a chick and have payed the consequences for it. When you dont have the patience you come like a turkey vulcher or something and the chicks are repelled from you.

 

If she donesnt call and you really want to go out with her my friends suggest to me is to invite her to a group event like out with your friends to a ball game or whatever therefore its sorta neutral and not as threatening. I ve learned alot on this forum so post a few questions,usually someone will reply with advise