jaejaeman Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 My girlfriend of almost 3 years is pretty much a live-in girlfriend, even though she still has her own place which she shares with friends. I first saw naked and clothed gym type pics of this guy in her email when she left my laptop open after using it. When I challenged her it turns out this was like 2 weeks after she met this dude at a club, like 11 months ago. In the emails she was just flirting back saying "oh you have a nice body" and such and talking about how the pics were too big to come through on her phone texts. So when we argued about it she said "We're just talking about gym training and weight loss and the like- he's a personal trainer". I said I don't care I don't want you texting back and forth with a guy who is telling you how good you look and sending you naked pics. She said "OK you're right I won't be in contact with him anymore" "we're only talking about weight loss and fitness"..... I thought we'd got over it. My girl would never share her phone password and I pretty much have let it go even though she never leaves her phone unattended. Recently I was suspicious of why so much secrecy and never leaving the phone out in the open and I grabbed it from her while she had it open, and discovered that she has been sexting / naked pics and you need to **** me messages back & forth with this same guy, a guy she met at a club about a year ago, and even a recent one about planning meeting for a "date". We had such a fight about it and she's like "oh it's just fantasy, I would never meet him again in person", and now she's angry at me for "crossing boundaries and going through her private stuff" by grabbing her phone, and she's been at her own place for a week for "me-time". What do you think? I know the vast majority of replies will say dump her. I'd like to do that, but it's easier to say as an outsider than do as the person who has been betrayed but is in love. I guess I'm hoping for some replies that spell out what should be the conversation/agreements/ resolutions that might get us to a second chance. But I'd still like to see all honest opinions or advice. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Personally, if it were me, I'd pretend I never saw it/found out about the whole thing. Ignorance is bliss... Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Personally, I'd be very hurt, and wouldn't trust her anymore. I'd end the relationship in no uncertain terms and move on. Sorry this happened to you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 You have a shady girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 What do you think? I think she's cheating on you. Why is he hanging around and still messaging her after a year if he isn't getting some? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
everlongdrummer Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 This happened to my ex of 7 years. About 4 years in I found she was sexting someone overseas. I approached her about it and she seemed genuinely sorry, I forgave, and got on with it. The problem is, no matter how sorry they are, there's a reason why they did it in the first place, and, similar to actual cheating, there's really no good excuse for it and it's a good first sign you might be getting into trouble in the future. FYI my ex cheating on me with someone else before I finally kicked her to the curb. I look back and knew from the time she got caught sexting was when I should have actioned the alarm bells. As a result I wasted another 3 years with someone who I didn't really know. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Ugh. Ugh and more Ugh. It's time to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I know the vast majority of replies will say dump her. I'd like to do that, but it's easier to say as an outsider than do as the person who has been betrayed but is in love. Are you okay with her flirting with, trading pics and possibly having sex with another guy? If so continue on with your love, if not then boot her ass to the curb and find a girl who is faithful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Are you really that desperate and undesirable to women that you'd have to resort to staying with her? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Are you really that desperate and undesirable to women that you'd have to resort to staying with her? Believe it or not some people really are. I'd consider myself among them... Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Believe it or not some people really are. I'd consider myself among them... But her a pair of golf balls so she can not only literally carry around your balls, but symbolically too. Have some self respect man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 But her a pair of golf balls so she can not only literally carry around your balls, but symbolically too. Have some self respect man. Hell, knowing me I'd never get to the point of having a girlfriend who could cheat on me. You have to actually have a girlfriend for her to be able to do that... Link to post Share on other sites
SOLACEMENT Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 What exactly the question here? Why is this not titled? "Caught my now ex-girlfriend sexting with another man, this bitch done lost her mind" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gambit123 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I think your girlfriend is a skank, what she did is not cool at all. Say nothing.... Start texting and meeting other girls, when she calls you on it tell her you thought you had an open relationship lol Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Dump her. No, really. Dump her. Unless you're one of those cockold types. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 This is a no-brainer. Get rid. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I grabbed it from her while she had it open, and discovered that she has been sexting / naked pics and you need to **** me messages back & forth with this same guy, a guy she met at a club about a year ago, and even a recent one about planning meeting for a "date". We had such a fight about it and she's like "oh it's just fantasy, I would never meet him again in person", and now she's angry at me for "crossing boundaries and going through her private stuff" by grabbing her phone, and she's been at her own place for a week for "me-time". I know the vast majority of replies will say dump her. I'd like to do that, but it's easier to say as an outsider than do as the person who has been betrayed but is in love. I guess I'm hoping for some replies that spell out what should be the conversation/agreements/ resolutions that might get us to a second chance. But I'd still like to see all honest opinions or advice. Thank you. Well, the crossing boundaries thing is called blameshifting. She was caught cheating and she shifts the blame on you for going through her stuff. Nevermind that some guy now has naked pics of her that she willingly gave him. This is YOUR fault for finding out the truth. And lets be honest, if the situation was reversed and you sent sexts to another girl along with naked pics of you and you received some fro her. Do you honestly believe that she would believe your excuse of "it's just a fantasy". Uh huh...you would be kicked out the door in a second. AND she lied to you. She promised that she wouldn't be in contact with the trainer guy. And yet, there's the sex texts! How important is this guy to her that she would go back on her word to you? And if it's "just a fantasy", she should only be sharing those fantasies with you. You are her boyfriend afterall!! Yeah, you state that it's easy for outsiders to say "drop her ass", but these outsiders have been where you're at right now. We've had to make the hard choices too! And we have or are getting better and started to heal and move on. You're coming to a site where a lot of us have been hurt and betrayed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 It's time to do the 100 yard punt for a faceplant field goal. She's cheating, manipulative, deceptive and outright lying to your face for an extended length of time. Consider this a lesson learned. If a partner protects their privacy harshly, there's a negative reason for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Where are all the posters who say don't ever look at a Gf/Bfs phone? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Where are all the posters who say don't ever look at a Gf/Bfs phone? I guess they are all at their Blameshifting 101 class. Dump this trash at the curb. She's your girlfriend, which means DATING, which means TRIAL RUN to see if you guys could go long-term. She can't, ergo, phukk that s****e. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 oi man I've been there. it sucks but you gotta cut her loose unless you're cool with your girl being the villiage bycicle. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Another one-post wonder with a provocative topic. Thanks all. Link to post Share on other sites
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