alicia24 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 In february my fiance and I broke up. He was taking money out of our bank account for internet poker($3000 total) and not telling me,was spending tons of time at the casino and when he wasnt at the casino he was hosting poker games at our house. Then he quit his job that he hated and wanted to become a professional poker. He never even had another job lined up and I had to support the entire house on my income and I wasnt able to do it. I had to sell my ring, our house, get rid of my rotweiler, and worst of all we had a great relationship until the last few months. I cant trust him. He betrayed me and stole money from us and was just really selfish. I tried a couple of times to do dinner with him and stuff but the spark is no longer there. No matter how hard I try. There is just a huge part of me that has been ruined and betrayed and I have no heart left. He swears he has changed and he got a job in pharmaceutical sales and makes all kinds of money and is promising me all this stuff and I just dont believe it and still dont trust him. Do I let it go completely or is there another alternative? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Tell him to compensate you financially for your hardship, then you may reconsider. Work out what you've lost, and present him with the bill. Sounds like he has a gambling addiction. You should research it. Link to post Share on other sites
on the edge Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 i certainly feel for you alicia24-i am currently in the process of ending a 10 year marriage due to a number of things, but mostly in part to gambling and total, blatant dishonesty. my soon to be ex has manage to gamble away almost $11,000.00 in the last year. i had no idea that he was gambling(along with some other questionable activity involving hotel receipts) until someone told me that i might confront him about it and he did admit to it. we seperated for awhile but got back together to try and make our marriage work. he swore to me that he would never step inside a casino again and things would be so much better. well to make a long story short i have found that he has pawned things from the house and more evidence of gambling, as late as june of this year! we even had to file bankruptcy on top of all this too! i decided enough was enough. my daughter and i deserve alot better-emotionally and financially. not that i want to live like the rich and famous, but it would be nice to make ends meet, plus just the simple fact of being able to trust someone and not always wondering or worrying about things that might be happening behind your back. every situation is different. like i mentioned there were other factors that had caused a pretty good size crack in the "foundation" and this was the final break. i'm tired of being emotionally and physically wiped out. it is hard to trust again and to find that connection once it's been broke. but what ever you decide to do i wish you all the best and by all means stay true to yourself!! you deserve the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by alicia24 He swears he has changed and he got a job in pharmaceutical sales and makes all kinds of money and is promising me all this stuff and I just dont believe it and still dont trust him. Do I let it go completely or is there another alternative? This, of course, is something you need to decide for yourself. You didn't specifically mention the pther factors, but it appears that you cannot trust him (justifiably so), & without trust, a healthy love relationship (or any close relationship, for that matter) is next to impossible. A gambling problem is like any other addiction. The person says he's changed, or will change, etc., but there needs to be a lot more than lip-service. You didn't say whether he is getting counseling or other professional help. Without seeing concrete evidence of change, you may be better off letting go now before you get hurt even worse. ___________________ How can you tell if sour cream has gone bad? Does it start tasting sweet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 thank ypu so much for all of the advice. No he never did get professional help. He says he is over ot and will never gamble again. Thanks for the support. Althought this is a horrible experience, it is comforting to know that I'm not the only one Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Don't even consider going through with the marriage until you KNOW that you two are back on track. Someone with a gambling addiction can drag you down in a hurry. It's also a clear violation of trust, and you should never marry someone that you cannot trust. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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