wildcountry33 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Hello all. This is my first post here but have lurked for some time. I need some advice. My wife is very very cold to me after the birth of our daughter four months ago. She will not hug or kiss me unless I want to. Sex? Yeah EVERYTHING sexual stopped 8 months ago. I have tried to talk to her about this and she blows me off and says that none of it is a big deal. And yes I feel that the loss of physical intimacy is a huge deal. I just dont know what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
MrWindupBird Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 My wife and I go through some of these phases, and it's becoming more common. Our kids killed our ability to be intimate together. I try, but usually it doesn't feel like it's in her anymore. I truly feel your pain. I am currently contemplating separation. I won't cheat on her because I feel like it would be disrespecting my children, but I deserve someone who likes me more than facebook. Don't let yourself be pushed around. That's the best advice I can give. Good luck to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gagirl Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Kids are extremely hard on a marriage especially if you don't have any help with them. If you can swing it, try to go out dates at least twice a month, day trips on occasion or even a vacation. Once the baby is asleep watch a movie together or just talk (not fight if you can help it) Hope this helps. The first baby is such a life changer and it does get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 What are some of the actions you do that she doesn't like, but had no idea they were so bad that she'd fall out of love with you over them? World of Warcraft addicition? Pot? Drinking? temper? Figure what it is then fix it before she's gone for good. Its not always the mans fault you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Honestly, try looking into the "Five Love Languages" She might be feeling her own resentments over something that you haven't realized (or something really stupid, she isn't handling your concerns very well). It could be a relationship-building exercise for both of you. And she could also be exhausted. Is she the primary wit domestic duties and the baby? Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Well, let's seeeeee....hmm. she has a 4 m old baby. I wonder if that might have something to do with it..... it's not easy to wAnt sex when you passed a small human through your vagina, have cracked nipples and you hormones are all over the place. Be patient, be loving, be supportive. 4 months is not long 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nstari Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 There can be many things going on; but does she have help with the baby? Becoming a mother is so overwhelming that sex can be the last thing on a woman's mind. Do sweet things for her without expecting sex, let her have a day to go out and do something for herself while you watch the baby,or help out around the house if you are able to. If these things don't help then be there for her until she wants to open up and let her know you're there for her. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 You we're either bait and switched (excuse my brutal honesty) or you have done something/been doijg things to cause her to resent you and resentment is a libido killer. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Is it possible she has Postpartum Depression? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Hello all. This is my first post here but have lurked for some time. I need some advice. My wife is very very cold to me after the birth of our daughter four months ago. She will not hug or kiss me unless I want to. Sex? Yeah EVERYTHING sexual stopped 8 months ago. I have tried to talk to her about this and she blows me off and says that none of it is a big deal. And yes I feel that the loss of physical intimacy is a huge deal. I just dont know what to do anymore. PPD. She needs to see her family Dr to have a check up. this could be a reason and if left for so long it can get worse and affect not just your sex life but other parts too, and interfer with her parenting. Just better to rule it out then see where things are after. Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I'm sorry but you are being way too lenient on the wife. Yeah, baby, etc. but you have to at least talk about the issue. Just stonewalling the guy is plain wrong. And where is there any suggestion he did something wrong for that to be the first reply in the thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 What are some of the actions you do that she doesn't like, but had no idea they were so bad that she'd fall out of love with you over them? World of Warcraft addicition? Pot? Drinking? temper? Figure what it is then fix it before she's gone for good. Why do you assume he is doing something wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wildcountry33 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Share Posted June 24, 2013 Sorry it has taken so long to update my thread. My situation has changed little. Tried to talk to her about it and she says that we still have intimacy in our marriage without sex and doesn't think that sex is important in a marriage. Now this went from a talk to a fight with me telling her it feels like we are.roommates. She asked if I would divorce her over sex and I said I didnt know what to say. I don't want to divorce but I don't want to live in a sexless and unaffectionate marriage. I still don't know what to do. She doesn't think there is a thing wrong in our relationship. Just out of ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts