alicia24 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 i was dating this guy really seriously and then he wanted to cool things off and we had the THE most incredible sex. Now that we've cooled off the relationship we just hang out and have sex all the time. today i left work on my lunch break and we had the best sex. since we are not serious anymore, am i just a friend with benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 is it bad if you are? Why don't you ask him what your title is since you are looking for a label. He might want to call you his personal whore. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 If you enjoy it and prefer to not be in a serious relationship with him then go for it. There are no rules that say you can only have enjoy sex if you are in a relationship. You do need to be aware though that because you are not serious he can have sex with whoever he wants, so be careful and safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by Monday is it bad if you are? Why don't you ask him what your title is since you are looking for a label. He might want to call you his personal whore. that was little harsh. I was just curious. There is no need for you to suggest that Iwould be a whore. But YOU would know. Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 I had the greatest "friend" thru my Junior and Senior years of High School. Like you, we dated, decided that didn't work, and were friends. We entered relationships and broke up with others. But when we were both unnattached, we would get together often. I learned more about sex and the female body from her than every other relationship I ever had. The sex was truly fantastic because there was no confusion, no expectations whatsoever from either one of us. To this day, I can't hear Bob Seger "Night moves" without thinking of her. "I used her, she used me, neither on cared". I moved away to college and haven't seen or heard from her in near 20 years. No regrets. If you are okay, and he's okay. have fun! -Dazed Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 If you enjoy it and prefer to not be in a serious relationship with him then go for it. There are no rules that say you can only have enjoy sex if you are in a relationship. You do need to be aware though that because you are not serious he can have sex with whoever he wants, so be careful and safe. I agree. So long as you are careful, do what makes you happy! But from what I understand, these situations usually don't work because one party's feelings are stronger than the other's. Maybe you're the exception! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by alicia24 that was little harsh. I was just curious. There is no need for you to suggest that Iwould be a whore. But YOU would know. I wasn't being harsh I didn't even refer to you as a whore....I said he might want to call you that. He might want to call you his friend with benifits, he might want to call you his girlfriend, he might want to call you his f*ck buddy.....what? I didn't suggest that you would be a whore. Are you suggesting that I am? Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by Monday I wasn't being harsh I didn't even refer to you as a whore....I said he might want to call you that. He might want to call you his friend with benifits, he might want to call you his girlfriend, he might want to call you his f*ck buddy.....what? I didn't suggest that you would be a whore. Are you suggesting that I am? Don't you realize that we live in an age where you have to be politically correct all the time because people are too damn sensitive? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 When my Ex and I broke up, we did that 'just one more time' sex thing...Well that one more time turned into another month or so...It's hard after being with someone then break up not to have the sex part. Emotionally I was gone, so was he. BUT the sex is what we desired...And it was great because that's all it was. He'd call, I'd go over, we'd do it...Then have a smoke in bed...He would ask me if I wanted sleep over (Courtesy thing I guess) I would say No thanks...And leave. IT was what we both wanted for abit, then I realized YUK! I don't want to do this anymore...So I stopped. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by Monday I wasn't being harsh I didn't even refer to you as a whore....I said he might want to call you that. He might want to call you his friend with benifits, he might want to call you his girlfriend, he might want to call you his f*ck buddy.....what? I didn't suggest that you would be a whore. Are you suggesting that I am? There was an interesting article in the New York Observer about the whole friends with benefits vs. f*ck buddy phenomenon. I tried to search for it again on their website so I could post the link but it won't work. If any of you would like to try (maybe my computer is dumb!) the website is http://www.observer.com. I thought the article had a good point...they contend a f*ck buddy is someone you barely know, whereas a friend with benefits is just as described: a friend. And fwb tends to become messy because of the friendship involved, whereas a "buddy" has no emotional attachment because there isn't much familiarity. Just wanted to throw another two cents in. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Are you happy? Do you want more? Are you worried what he and others think of your situation? Are you feeling "taken"? (b/c that may stop you from being approached or looking for someone who has more to offer? Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by alicia24 i was dating this guy really seriously and then he wanted to cool things off and we had the THE most incredible sex. Now that we've cooled off the relationship we just hang out and have sex all the time. today i left work on my lunch break and we had the best sex. since we are not serious anymore, am i just a friend with benefits. It would seem as though you are a friend with benefits. I have never seen this type of arrangement work out. Jealousy, trust, feelings, and various other "relationship only" issues seem to arrise in f-k buddy arrangements. I find it funny that people who do not want to be in relationships, get involved in a... relationship! In many ways, I see friends with benefits as far more than "friends". Link to post Share on other sites
oldandie1950 Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 alicia24, Yes you are viewed by this sex-buddy as a friend with a benefit. my question is? really is this guy just a "friend with a benefit" for you, or deep down are you expecting more.Eh? My reaction to this unless You decide, he will always be in control. Enjoy the positives of this as long as it Satisfies Your Need, but be open and honest with him. Tell him what you want him to do for you, Sexually. Be aware of You and be careful of where this is going. Cheers, Alicia24. From a unexplored giver of Peppermint O. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 " Do you feel taken or used?" . This is a question always been asked to girls. What about guys folks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted October 2, 2004 Author Share Posted October 2, 2004 I was in love with this guy at one time and i think I still may be so deep down inside I think I do want it to go to another level but I know it won't and I am very aware of that. I started dating this really great guy about a month ago. Not sexual at all. We have kissed and everything, but I am not ready to sleep with him. How do I tell my friend with benefits about this. I am not the type of person to mess around with 2 guys at the same time. Its either one or the other and I want it to be the guy i'm dating but i dont want to hurt my friend. I know he will be very jelous? HELP Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Your FWB really does not need to know about your personal life. It seems that you think of him as having some rights or some hold over you, which IMO he doesn't. And yes, having a FWB thing going on can make it hard to get a REAL relationship started with a third party...as you have found. So unless you really crave FWB, and it sounds like you don't, then let your "FWB" know he just became a plain "F". Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted October 4, 2004 Author Share Posted October 4, 2004 thanks for all the great advice it is greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 Hmm....sex. Sex is good. I love sex. As much of it as I can find. Did I say sex is good? Why worry? Just don't fixate on this, don't see it as posibility of a rework of the relationship, and DO be careful, because you don't know who else he's bumpin' uglies with. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Hey Pap, new pic?? Nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Thanks, WWIU! I was tired of my two-dimensional face. Link to post Share on other sites
brethree Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 I think it really depends on what you want to be..If you have no problem with committment-free sex then go ahead but If you aren't happy then you need to take a second look at what you are doing. From my own experiences I have never been able to do that so if you have that ability..then ride that thang until the wheels fall off! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 Last night my friend with benefits told me that he is in love with me and gave me a beautiful Movado but he still doesnt want anything serious. What is going on. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 He doesn't want the FWB thing to end, so he is starting to butter you up with sweet talk and gifts. However, since he is not a psychopath, he doesn't lie to you and promise you anything serious. Since it sounds like you want a real relationship, I would say "Keep the sweet talk and keep the watch". Then go chase the other guy you mentioned - the one who might be interested in a real relationship. The ONLY time FWB makes sense is when two people are interested in casual sex with a safe partner. It seems you are NOT interested in casual sex anymore with this guy, so just stop doing it. And phooey on him for trying to bait you to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
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