LilySun Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so cinfused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Even if I don't mention sex. I am 37 Is it my age? Never married, no kids. Do men think this screams desparation for a wedding ring and babies, putting me in the "sex only" category? I hate to say it. But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Feels like I can't win. Why is this?? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 You're not alone, hon. I am 38 and in the same boat you are in. And then there are those who go for you and you look them up later on and they are with someone who is clearly less attractive than you are. Why? Because as I get older I realize that men are far more insecure than they let us think they are. They actually want someone who is lesser than they are. Given a choice, they choose trash rather than a good woman. If you are educated, have a good body, attractive, and can piece three sentances together then you are not what they want. Instead they go for trashy girls who throw tantrums and make their lives miserable. Sounds bitter? It should, it's been proven to me time and again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Date somebody 15 years older. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 What do you mean "only want sex"? Is that literally the only thing the men you are meeting want? Or do they want to have sex as part of the rest of what's going on? Because that's completely normal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I turned 40 recently and was in the same situation as you in the past years. It's not you, it's the new dating style these days... Most men are not interested in a serious relationship. My advice is to look hard for 40+ men that express very clearly they are looking for a serious relationship and marriage. There are a few out there. Most are players just looking to get laid or men who need the affirmation of finding a girl who is 10-15 years younger where they can wait years to make a commitment. After years of dating insanity, I just found what I was looking for: a guy my age who wanted the same things I did. The way to get there is not getting into dubious relationships. And look at them mostly to see if they have a good soul and make good partners. Don't look for men based solely on their hotness or success. Tip: it took me 20 years to realize men couldn't care less if a woman is professionally successful. It actually turns them off. Most prefer a good girl who will take care of them. There are exceptions, obviously. Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Where are you looking for these men? Maybe you're looking in the wrong place. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 40+ year old guys want the same thing, if they wanted something more they would date 25, 26 and 27 year olds 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Where are you looking for these men? Maybe you're looking in the wrong place. You're Canadian. I bet OP lives in a big US city. Canadian men are more marriage minded as opposed to American guys in big cities. I know from experience. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Why is sex all <the others> want? Yep, pretty much. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 40+ year old guys want the same thing, if they wanted something more they would date 25, 26 and 27 year oldsI'm 26 and 40+ is too old. Their sperm is at risk for schizophrenia and they don't have the energy to be lifting babies. Plus all the quality men 40+ already have baggage -- children, wives, divorces, etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Men "only" want sex from certain women but not all. This problem generally only happens when women go after guys out of their league. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JAKO Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so confused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Even if I don't mention sex. I am 37 Is it my age? Feels like I can't win. Why is this?? It's both your age and theirs. Romantic love is something people experience in their youth or with people they met in their youth. Older people are more cynical and realistic. They understand that relationships with other people are transient and unreliable. Unless of course they've known each other for years. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Whatever you do, do not settle. Be proud of all you have to offer. Be celibate rather than give in to something you don't want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Also But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Feels like I can't win. Why is this?? This is THE dating problem most women of all ages races and backgrounds have. Your not really alone 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so confused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. I hate to say it. But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Feels like I can't win. Why is this?? Because you've given in to the base nature of your gender. Just like the scumbags you chase after. Thanks for so concisely laying out the problem though. The problem which is primarily based on YOUR PREFERENCES. If women read enough threads like these maybe it would shock some sense into them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 If women read enough threads like these maybe it would shock some sense into them. LOL.... I think hell freezing over would happen first "I was a whore for a long time, now im professional and have a career and 30s 40s i want a good guy".... yawn 7 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Because as I get older I realize that men are far more insecure than they let us think they are. They actually want someone who is lesser than they are. Given a choice, they choose trash rather than a good woman. If you are educated, have a good body, attractive, and can piece three sentances together then you are not what they want. Instead they go for trashy girls who throw tantrums and make their lives miserable. Sounds bitter? It should, it's been proven to me time and again. Certainly not me nor any of my male friends... Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 This is true for myself and every guy I know. It's either a turn-off or completely neutral (for me, it's neutral....I don't care either way). That's pathetic. I actually don't know any guys like that. I can only conclude you/they are insecure about your lack of success in your own career(s)... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so cinfused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Even if I don't mention sex. I am 37 Is it my age? Never married, no kids. Do men think this screams desparation for a wedding ring and babies, putting me in the "sex only" category? I hate to say it. But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Feels like I can't win. Why is this?? Could be because you have a validation issue and don't know it. I had a girl who was gaga for me and I ran for the hills. She was cute and looking back I'd date her in a heart beat. Back then my "excuse" was that I wasn't really attracted to her (I didn't tell her that) and that I had a lot of problems at the time. I think it was a combination of being guarded and her comin on strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 You're not alone, hon. I am 38 and in the same boat you are in. And then there are those who go for you and you look them up later on and they are with someone who is clearly less attractive than you are. Why? Because as I get older I realize that men are far more insecure than they let us think they are. They actually want someone who is lesser than they are. Given a choice, they choose trash rather than a good woman. If you are educated, have a good body, attractive, and can piece three sentances together then you are not what they want. Instead they go for trashy girls who throw tantrums and make their lives miserable. Sounds bitter? It should, it's been proven to me time and again. What was the common denominator for all those guys........... Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Most men would rather have sex, sooner than later. It's up to you to push them back. Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 OP, what are you looking for at this point in your life? I am in sort of a similar boat myself, but a little while ago, I realized what I might have been saying that gave men that impression. I was always telling guys I dated "Im not looking to be in a relationship right now", so then they figured that meant they could get NSA sex from me. (and if they only wanted sex to begin with, why wouldn't they think that?) So now I've decided Im not going to be the one to bring up the r word, and if the guy does, I say Im single now but open to the idea of getting into a relationship with the right person of course. Though I realize that still might not weed out the men who only want sex. I think TBF has good advice, don't have sex with the guys that you don't want to with. If you're looking for someone who is open to something long term with the right person, he shouldn't mind waiting right? Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 God there are so many things I wanna type out. Assuming this thread is real: Men don't run like hell from NICE, LOVING, NURTURING, women, no matter what they look like there will be a GOOD guy standing there with flowers in his hand and a smile on his face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Do men think this screams desparation for a wedding ring and babies, Why does this read as if you perceive the men who "only want sex" to have any interest at all in creating "babies"?? Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 That's pathetic. I actually don't know any guys like that. I can only conclude you/they are insecure about your lack of success in your own career(s)... It's a known fact that a woman's career success is down low in the list of what men look for in a woman. Unless he's a loser wanting someone to leech off her Or are you going to tell us that's a priority for you and your friends? Ah. Most guys care about: 1. Looks; 2. A woman not being bitchy or too smart ass; 3. How good of a mother she will be to his children. Etc... Career? Certainly beyond #10. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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