"Guys don't like me because I'm smart" sounds very familiar to...

[candie13]

I'm referring to a group of guys who aren't nice but masquerading as such

 

All people lie - to bigger or lower extents. To me, not telling the truth about the true nature of your personality or your intention is a deal breaker.

 

The moment I realize that the guy in front of me poses as a "nice guy", I'm outta there, I ain't got no time to waste to figure out the "why", the "how", etc.

 

You're nice, you should behave like a nice person. You're frustrated - you should assume it and hang out with other frustrated people. You just want an easy shag - go ahead and shag away, my friend, just don't waste my time with stories, excuses... or flat out lies.

 

Part of the weeding process.

[Eternal Sunshine]

As for smart I really don't think it's a hindrance. At worst, it will be a neutral. I have had guys that were a lot less intelligent and/or less educated pursue me if they liked my looks.

[TaraMaiden]

Im not Talking about outside people telling them, im referring those men and women telling themselves that to cope with the fact that they were rejected because of physical reasons.

 

So what you're actually saying is that when a woman rejects a man, he will think

 

"I'm too nice/smart for her"

 

But women won't think that.

 

So it's a defence mechanism. A self-delusion....

 

When a woman is rejected, she will think "It's because there's something wrong with me."

 

When a man is rejected, he will think "it's because there's something right with me."

 

is this what you're trying to say....?

[fortyninethousand322]

Nice guys are the worst. I have never had worse experiences than with very polite, seemingly sweet, shy, agreeable guys :sick:

 

Guys that came across as arrogant di-cks were kinder to me in the long run.

 

Well, usually nice guys are "nice" because they have nothing else going for them.

 

It comes out eventually...

[Revolver]

So what you're actually saying is that when a woman rejects a man, he will think

 

"I'm too nice/smart for her"

 

But women won't think that.

 

So it's a defence mechanism. A self-delusion....

 

When a woman is rejected, she will think "It's because there's something wrong with me."

 

When a man is rejected, he will think "it's because there's something right with me."

 

is this what you're trying to say....?

 

It really depends. For example they're alot of these guys who have an idea of being nice is right for them the women are just too dumb to see it, but there are alot of those guys who think its something wrong and attempt to Change that. This is usually where the guy trying to be the "bad boy" comes into play

 

Just like there's alot of women who are ok with being smart but just think its a factor in why they don't get the guys they want. But also women who feel something is wrong with being intelligent and look to change that. This is where "dumbing yourself down to get guys" comes into play.

[Treasa]

I've been told I'm too smart for my own good. I've also been told I'm too much of a smartass for my own good. I'm not sure which one I love more.

[Roadkill007]

Part of the weeding process.

 

 

Lol, I read that as "part of the wedding process"

 

 

 

and on the OP, personally I've never heard the "smart girl" thing, except here on the internet. I haven't heard much of the "nice guy" thing irl either though, so I dunno. It is kind of weird though. We do hear of some guys getting intimidated by "smart girls", but it's probably the same vice versa? people tend to prefer intellectual levels around their own for the most part.

[Emilia]

I've been told I'm too smart for my own good. I've also been told I'm too much of a smartass for my own good. I'm not sure which one I love more.

:laugh:

[TaraMaiden]

It really depends. For example they're alot of these guys who have an idea of being nice is right for them the women are just too dumb to see it, but there are alot of those guys who think its something wrong and attempt to Change that. This is usually where the guy trying to be the "bad boy" comes into play

 

Just like there's alot of women who are ok with being smart but just think its a factor in why they don't get the guys they want. But also women who feel something is wrong with being intelligent and look to change that. This is where "dumbing yourself down to get guys" comes into play.

 

We've gotten so far into the realms of generalisation, that this theory no longer counts as being significant; it just counts as yet another theory as to why people decide against dating someone....

 

let's not forget that the first thing we know about a person, is their physique.

 

Visual attraction is the very first, impulse attention-grabber.

 

The bottom line is, visuals play an almost immediate major part in what makes a person a possible partner.

 

Do they look phukkable?

Can I see myself rolling in the sheets with this one?

 

All the subsequent intellectual broo-hah comes later....

 

and if there is no "meeting of minds even the most gorgeous person can become a complete turn-off.

 

Then there's the whole ONS/FWB schytt..... or the drunken fling, or the low-self-esteem phukk "because i hoped he would respect me in the morning" or the "she was hawt and I didn't want her to think I wasn't a stud in bed"....

 

jeesh.... the permutations are endless.....

[USMCHokie]

let's not forget that the first thing we know about a person, is their physique.

 

Visual attraction is the very first, impulse attention-grabber.

 

The bottom line is, visuals play an almost immediate major part in what makes a person a possible partner.

 

Precisely the premise of the OP. All this garbage about being too smart or too nice is just a diversion from the root of the problem. You ugly.

[Woggle]

It is just a cover for other undesirable personality traits.

[Treasa]

Disinterested, what the hell is your avatar of? It's freaking me out.

 

Sorry to thread-jack, peeps..

[Otty]

It's because those guys aren't nice. They are bogus. Hence the roasting. They are passive aggressive which is not the same as being nice.

 

13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst

 

Talk about beating a dead horse.... No matter what topic is raised, somehow, it leads to a discussion of those evil, despicable "Nice Guys" even though nothing said in the original post mentioned a passive-aggressive man. It is misandry at its worst and is on display routinely here and in American society.

 

The truth is, most of the time a woman rejects a nice guy, it's because she's on the carousel. The man involved is better off being rejected by such women and being single.

 

As to the other issue raised in this topic: a woman claiming that men won't date her because she's "too smart" is usually an insufferable boor or beatch lacking the feminine traits needed to land a good man. Actually, "Nice Guys (as that term is understood in the feminist community) and the "too smart" women are very similar. Both have personalities and characteristics highly undesirable to the opposite sex and are trying to project this personal issue onto another person.

[Treasa]

Talk about beating a dead horse.... No matter what topic is raised, somehow, it leads to a discussion of those evil, despicable "Nice Guys" even though nothing said in the original post mentioned a passive-aggressive man. It is misandry at its worst and is on display routinely here and in American society.

 

The truth is, most of the time a woman rejects a nice guy, it's because she's on the carousel. The man involved is better off being rejected by such women and being single.

 

As to the other issue raised in this topic: a woman claiming that men won't date her because she's "too smart" is usually an insufferable boor or beatch lacking the feminine traits needed to land a good man. Actually, "Nice Guys (as that term is understood in the feminist community) and the "too smart" women are very similar. Both have personalities and characteristics highly undesirable to the opposite sex and are trying to project this personal issue onto another person.

 

Or maybe the guy thinks he's a "nice guy" when he's really an "insecure guy" or a "passive aggressive" guy.

[tbf]

Disinterested, what the hell is your avatar of? It's freaking me out.

 

Sorry to thread-jack, peeps..

It's Yo-Landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord, a South-African rap-rave band. They're quite unique and pretty good.

 

Anyone heard of the Dunning-Kruger Effect?

[Otty]

Don't know. You'll have to ask Revolver what he meant when he started the thread, which is entitled "Guy's don't like me because I'm smart sounds very similar to Girls don't like me because I'm nice."

 

The most reasonable interpretation of his comments is that he is trying to make a comparison, and draw an equivalance, between personalty traits of men and women that are considered undesirable by the opposite sex. This seems like a pretty reasonable interpretation of where Revolver was going with his thread but you will have to ask him to make sure.

 

My point is that various female posters hijacked the thread and steered to discussion to something entirely different....that favorite whipping boy of theirs, the "Nice Guy." Revolver never mentioned passive-aggressive men or insecure men; you and other female posters were the ones who steered the conversation to that topic.

[Treasa]

It's Yo-Landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord, a South-African rap-rave band. They're quite unique and pretty good.

 

Anyone heard of the Dunning-Kruger Effect?

 

I like the music and the video to some extent. Not crazy about the portrayal of animals.

[hppr]

In my experience, if a girl says "he doesn't like me because I'm smart", I'd think the girl is obnoxious and thinks she holds the answer to all God's questions.

 

Yeap.

 

Whenever I read/hear women talking about how they are smart, successful, beautiful, yet men are running the other way and only self-centered 'jerky' types wanna date em...I just bite my tongue. There was a time when I would say what I thought but it's not worth it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

My favorite video of recent times ...

[Star Gazer]

In my experience, if a girl says "he doesn't like me because I'm smart", I'd think the girl is obnoxious and thinks she holds the answer to all God's questions. Nobody likes a smartass, IMO. I think actually guys like girls who are smart, as long as they're not abrasive... also some might enjoy them a bit more tough - all part of that teasing.

 

Again, from my experience, is guy says "she doesn't like me because I'm nice", that means that the woman doesn't find him exciting. Being exciting is again, very important, in order to raise and keep the interest of a woman. I believe some men are interesting, but they need more time to be themselves, to really show how they are, their personality, their likes and dislikes... chances are, a "nice guy" may have more chances with the opposite sex, because they have more layers... whereas a "smart girl"... none!

 

Nothing more ugly than an ugly personality, IMO!

 

You can pretty much end the thread after this post! Bingo!

[Seductive]

Luckily, most men I've met like that they perceive me as smart. The only thing I've encountered for being smart is being mistaken for a man online. At this one forum I used to post on, the posters thought that being a woman meant that you had to be air-headed and unable to spell.

[Els]

Pretty much true, yeah.

 

I mean, I'm sure there are guys who are genuinely against intelligent women, just as how there are some women who genuinely prefer the ******* who mistreats them over a guy who treats them well. But for the most part, I agree that people are over-exaggerating this 'phenomenon', or using it as an excuse.

 

I've found that many guys do appreciate intellect in a woman, just as how I think some truly nice guys have found that many women do appreciate being treated well. Though neither should be the end-all-be-all of a R, of course.

[Revolver]

I'm not Suporting or saying lay off "nice guys". I think they're annoying like everyone else does, I just don't know why women who claim guys don't want or reject them because of their intellegience dont get the same criticism or ridicule as the nice guys. It's basically the SAME thing:laugh:, It's just that nice is replaced with smart/intelligent.

 

Also If Ive learned anything from being on the internet, its that People really have an animosity and enjoy the failures of nice guys

[Els]

I'm not Suporting or saying lay off "nice guys". I think they're annoying like everyone else does, I just don't know why women who claim guys don't want or reject them because of their intellegience dont get the same criticism or ridicule as the nice guys. It's basically the SAME thing:laugh:, It's just that nice is replaced with smart/intelligent.

 

Also If Ive learned anything from being on the internet, its that People really have an animosity and enjoy the failures of nice guys

 

The amount of ridicule you get is proportional to the amount of whining you do.

 

Not sure why you are saying this, though; plenty of people actually agree with you on this topic.

[Treasa]

What is meant by smart/intelligent when any of you use it?

 

Do you mean someone with an advanced degree? One who is quick witted? One who has an encyclopedic knowledge? One who excels at problem solving? Etc. What do you mean?

 

 

A woman who attempts to make me feel small is repulsive. People who see themselves as smarter than the average bear have a knack for showing off what they believe puts them above the rest. Lacking basic humility such as this is again repulsive.

 

I think all or a combination of what you wrote.

 

You've said I lack shame, and something about Care Bears ... but I consider myself very smart (except in science and some types of mathematics), and I am very kind to people who need it and will benefit from it. I don't think I'm better than anyone, and I think that showing off or demonstrating or using your talents and abilities is pretty normal.

 

No smart girl is responsible for how you (general you) feel. If you feel bad or inferior, that's on you.