"Guys don't like me because I'm smart" sounds very familiar to...

[therhythm]

I've never been told I'm not liked because I'm too smart.

 

And I'm sorry, mensa says i am (! )

 

If anything, men have been attracted by that, I'm sure. They like stimulating conversation, a woman who can talk about more than just babies and kittens, and I have honestly been told, rather, that "brains are sexually attractyive, and a guy wants to shaft a broad with a brain, because dumb = easy..... And I'm just quoting, not necessarily agreeing.

 

But I think the opposite applies when women date 'smart' guys...

 

So if a guy is told by a woman that he's too smart to date - there may be a grain of truth in that.

 

What I am about to offer is highly generalised, but is still true, in some quarters.

Women are sometimes made nervous by their male peers, because a woman - even if she is bright and intelligent - is intimidated by an intelligent man - because she's conditioned to feel inferior to such a person.

It's true, I have witnessed this for myself, in several sphere of work.

 

There are few elevated positions occupied by women, in comparison to the number occupied by men.

And women who DO occupy those positions are savy, articulate, feminine, yet hard-nosed, abrasive and sometimes ruthless.

They have to compete as women in a so-called 'man's world'.

 

So smart women are eminently phukkable.

Smart men - who broadcast or reveal how smart they are - are less so.

 

Generally speaking.

 

I agree totally with your post.

 

I just wanted to say (not to disappoint you) that according to mensa I am a friking genius and while I not consider myself stupid I am definitely not more intelligent than most folks around me...

 

Then again being smart and being intelligent (that is what mensa measures) are not the same thing... I know very intelligent people who are dumb like hell and very smart people who are not that intelligent.

 

How I see it smart people is the ones who profit the most with what nature has giving them (the ones who give intelligence a use, and this can be learned) while intelligent people are those who have the raw material but not necessarily use it.. (You are born intelligent, you can't learn it!)

 

I don't want to derail the thread but I thought I would like to add some points to the definition of smart vs intelligent on here.

Difference Between Smart and Intelligent | Difference Between | Smart vs Intelligent

[Treasa]

My favorite video of recent times ...

 

Ok, thread-jacking again, but guess who bought this and, while trying to add it to her downloads on her phone, accidentally started playing it at volume 10 in a quiet but occupied office?

 

I had remembered to turn down the ringer volume but not the media volume. *headdesksigh*

 

In my scramble to pause it, I went back to the home screen of my phone, so it played for 15 seconds before I managed to turn it down.

[will1988]

I hate the whole self pitty stuff that some people use. The whole girls don't like me because I am nice thing. Jesus, grow a pair and quit complaining is generally my response! You don't need to be a really fit and attractive guy to get an attractive girl. You just need to confident, out going, and funny. If it wasn't for those traits, I'd probably be on here biotching and complaining about not getting any either.... labeling my excuse as being too nice, when in reality it is insecurities and cowardness / inaction that is causing me not to get women. That is all it is. If the so called nice guys, I used to be one of them long ago, just stood up for themselves and stopped being a door mat then maybe they would get the girl they have a crush on and or climb out of the deep trench of the friendzone. As I tell my more fit friends who have problems with women, you need to outgoing and confident. If you can't love your self and if you have self pitty, no woman is going to love you!

 

Now on to the smart girl bit. I actually like smart girls. I am a smart guy. However, I seem to attract girls that aren't exactly book smart. lol. :-P but her other good qualities make up for it. I've never heard of a guy not wanting a smart guy.

[Emilia]

Ok, thread-jacking again, but guess who bought this and, while trying to add it to her downloads on her phone, accidentally started playing it at volume 10 in a quiet but occupied office?

 

I had remembered to turn down the ringer volume but not the media volume. *headdesksigh*

 

In my scramble to pause it, I went back to the home screen of my phone, so it played for 15 seconds before I managed to turn it down.

 

I did that with a porn clip once :lmao:

[Treasa]

I did that with a porn clip once :lmao:

 

At work??

 

Even if not, that's pretty awesome.

[Emilia]

At work??

 

Even if not, that's pretty awesome.

No, thank god but in front of other people.

[pcplod]

In my experience, if a girl says "he doesn't like me because I'm smart", I'd think the girl is obnoxious and thinks she holds the answer to all God's questions. Nobody likes a smartass, IMO. I think actually guys like girls who are smart, as long as they're not abrasive... also some might enjoy them a bit more tough - all part of that teasing.

 

Again, from my experience, is guy says "she doesn't like me because I'm nice", that means that the woman doesn't find him exciting. Being exciting is again, very important, in order to raise and keep the interest of a woman. I believe some men are interesting, but they need more time to be themselves, to really show how they are, their personality, their likes and dislikes... chances are, a "nice guy" may have more chances with the opposite sex, because they have more layers... whereas a "smart girl"... none!

 

Nothing more ugly than an ugly personality, IMO!

 

Yay! You madam, win a gold star!

[pcplod]

Confession time. I have always been flattered by smart women who hit on me. It's a weakness. Unfortunately, in the past I have let it get to me because I was one of those men who was suspicious because I wondered what ulterior motive they had. I would admit that I was very young then, mostly in my teens and thus suceptible to 'development blight'. However, how I wish it had been different, reflecting on how much harm inflicted on myself at the time.

 

And now it doesn't happen any more. If it weren't for the fact that I am atheistic, I would be paranoid about God having it in for me by way of punishment. Just as well, I think.

 

Anyway, on the unlikely chance it ever happens again, I swear I am not ever going to look a gift horse in the mouth again. Honest. Even if they are more intelligent than me. It's got to be worth the risk.

 

Anyway, you can be highly intellectual, in an academic sense, but a dumb-ass when it comes to emotional intelligence, or even just putting your general intelligence to practical use. Let's call it the difference between "Pure Intelligence" and "Applied Intelligence", just like in Physics. There is no point in knowing theoretically how to build a house if you figuratively have no idea how to wield a fecking hammer. Call it the geek factor if you prefer.

[Otty]

I hate the whole self pitty stuff that some people use. The whole girls don't like me because I am nice thing. Jesus, grow a pair and quit complaining is generally my response! You don't need to be a really fit and attractive guy to get an attractive girl. You just need to confident, out going, and funny. If it wasn't for those traits, I'd probably be on here biotching and complaining about not getting any either.... labeling my excuse as being too nice, when in reality it is insecurities and cowardness / inaction that is causing me not to get women. That is all it is. If the so called nice guys, I used to be one of them long ago, just stood up for themselves and stopped being a door mat then maybe they would get the girl they have a crush on and or climb out of the deep trench of the friendzone. As I tell my more fit friends who have problems with women, you need to outgoing and confident. If you can't love your self and if you have self pitty, no woman is going to love you!

 

Now on to the smart girl bit. I actually like smart girls. I am a smart guy. However, I seem to attract girls that aren't exactly book smart. lol. :-P but her other good qualities make up for it. I've never heard of a guy not wanting a smart guy.

 

I don't think I've ever seen a post that screams "White Knight" quite like this one does!

 

Does it make you feel good to join all of your feminista pals trashing the brotherhood? Your advice to "nice guys" is for them to "grow a pair"? How considerate! Just be "confident", "outgoing" and "funny"? Well, what about men who are introverts who don't spout all of the pop culture nonsense all the time trying to be seen as "funny" by the women? Many of these men have a level of confidence in themselves that people like you will never understand. Plus, their confidence is real, based on real abilities and accomplishments and not the fake bravado that passes as "confidence" for many males today.

 

Instead of labelling men who happen to be introverted, friendly and empathic as weak/pushovers/doormats, losers, why don't you spend some time getting to know these and find out what they're really about? You might just be surprised and find out they aren't following the pop culture herd like you and a lot of others are. You might even learn something!

[will1988]

I don't think I've ever seen a post that screams "White Knight" quite like this one does!

 

Does it make you feel good to join all of your feminista pals trashing the brotherhood? Your advice to "nice guys" is for them to "grow a pair"? How considerate! Just be "confident", "outgoing" and "funny"? Well, what about men who are introverts who don't spout all of the pop culture nonsense all the time trying to be seen as "funny" by the women? Many of these men have a level of confidence in themselves that people like you will never understand. Plus, their confidence is real, based on real abilities and accomplishments and not the fake bravado that passes as "confidence" for many males today.

 

Instead of labelling men who happen to be introverted, friendly and empathic as weak/pushovers/doormats, losers, why don't you spend some time getting to know these and find out what they're really about? You might just be surprised and find out they aren't following the pop culture herd like you and a lot of others are. You might even learn something!

 

I think women has always liked confident men throughout history, not just in contemporary times. I was the nice guy, I still am to a degree. However, I do not cower when talking to women, nor do I care about being rejected. Nor will I be walked on or pushed over. I'm not stating that being nice is a bad thing, I am stating that being the stereotypical "nice guy" is something not desired. Also, how in the world does being confident and secure in one's self and not taking schidt from anyone have to do with femanisim? I am also naturally funny, and my humor is witty and is oftentimes dark and un-PC. How is that pop-culture related? In today's society young women like guys that wear skinny jeans, and are uber sensative, but corky etc... I am none of that. My confidence is not false either. Sure I may be overweight, but I make up for that in many other qualities. And to your last point, most of my friends are the stereotypical "nice guys", and guess what? Not a one of them has a girl friend. Yet they biotch and complain about not being able to get a girl friend. They also believe that the world owes them a smoking hot super model of a woman. They believe that through their good deeds and through them letting themselves be used by women that some how karma will reward them. A lot of the self proclaimed "Nice guys" think along these lines. I know I did when I was a door mat. However, it was through realizing that I don't need to take anyone's schidt, and that if they don't like me then oh well, move on, that I realized being the nice guy hurts, rather than helps, your situation with women. I have nothing wrong with my friends. However, I am bluntly honest and I call it the way I see it, and in these situations lack of confidence, lack of action, self pitty, and insecurities are what causes most guys that I've known (including myself back-in-the-day) not to get women.

[Otty]

I think women has always liked confident men throughout history, not just in contemporary times. I was the nice guy, I still am to a degree. However, I do not cower when talking to women, nor do I care about being rejected. Nor will I be walked on or pushed over. I'm not stating that being nice is a bad thing, I am stating that being the stereotypical "nice guy" is something not desired. Also, how in the world does being confident and secure in one's self and not taking schidt from anyone have to do with femanisim? I am also naturally funny, and my humor is witty and is oftentimes dark and un-PC. How is that pop-culture related? In today's society young women like guys that wear skinny jeans, and are uber sensative, but corky etc... I am none of that. My confidence is not false either. Sure I may be overweight, but I make up for that in many other qualities. And to your last point, most of my friends are the stereotypical "nice guys", and guess what? Not a one of them has a girl friend. Yet they biotch and complain about not being able to get a girl friend. They also believe that the world owes them a smoking hot super model of a woman. They believe that through their good deeds and through them letting themselves be used by women that some how karma will reward them. A lot of the self proclaimed "Nice guys" think along these lines. I know I did when I was a door mat. However, it was through realizing that I don't need to take anyone's schidt, and that if they don't like me then oh well, move on, that I realized being the nice guy hurts, rather than helps, your situation with women. I have nothing wrong with my friends. However, I am bluntly honest and I call it the way I see it, and in these situations lack of confidence, lack of action, self pitty, and insecurities are what causes most guys that I've known (including myself back-in-the-day) not to get women.

 

Please tell your friends to stop pursuing a girlfriend or relationship for the time being. Tell them to spend time developing their work related skills and their career in general. Perhaps this means going back to school and getting additional education. The bottom line is that women are turned on by good looks and high status in men above everything else. With looks, you have what you have for the most part, but status can be obtained through hard work and persistence. Usually (but not always), a better career, promotions and higher income lead to high status for men which is what women want. More importantly, career success will increase their self confidence and self awareness and will allow them to lead fulfilling lives with or without a girlfriend. The positive feedback from this career success and changed attitude will actually make them more desirable to women.

 

You ask, what does feminism have to do with all of this? Well, nothing, and everything! Men can and should achieve and develop self-confidence on their own or with the help of good male friends, however... Many females today, particularly the hard core feminists, think they can empower themselves by dinminishing men. The dorky men in TV commercials and the speech codes in place on many college campuses today are just a couple of examples of feminists are trying to emasculate men. Any time a feminist or her white knight accomplices tell a man to "man-up", they are actually trying to shame, emasculate and therefore control the behavior of that man. Your friends, and all men, must be aware of what is going on here and not let the feminists get away with tearing down the brotherhood.

 

Once your friends develop competence in their career, they will have status and self confidence. This obviously doesn't guarantee them a girlfriend, but regardless, it will guarantee them a more rewarding life with or without a significant other. Actually, I have found that the most important and rewarding relationships most men have (besides kids and family) are with their male friends. Good male friends will be there no matter what happens. In today's society, it's difficult to say that in reference to a significant other.

 

Also, please tell your friends that it's not that uncommon for many men to struggle in dating until they reach their late 20s or 30s. The reason for this is obvious: until this time, most men haven't established a successful career and, thus, attained high status. For this reason, unless they possess good looks or natually have high status through their personality, playing ball or playing in a band, most men don't have status when they are any younger than this.

[will1988]

Please tell your friends to stop pursuing a girlfriend or relationship for the time being. Tell them to spend time developing their work related skills and their career in general. Perhaps this means going back to school and getting additional education. The bottom line is that women are turned on by good looks and high status in men above everything else. With looks, you have what you have for the most part, but status can be obtained through hard work and persistence. Usually (but not always), a better career, promotions and higher income lead to high status for men which is what women want. More importantly, career success will increase their self confidence and self awareness and will allow them to lead fulfilling lives with or without a girlfriend. The positive feedback from this career success and changed attitude will actually make them more desirable to women.

 

You ask, what does feminism have to do with all of this? Well, nothing, and everything! Men can and should achieve and develop self-confidence on their own or with the help of good male friends, however... Many females today, particularly the hard core feminists, think they can empower themselves by dinminishing men. The dorky men in TV commercials and the speech codes in place on many college campuses today are just a couple of examples of feminists are trying to emasculate men. Any time a feminist or her white knight accomplices tell a man to "man-up", they are actually trying to shame, emasculate and therefore control the behavior of that man. Your friends, and all men, must be aware of what is going on here and not let the feminists get away with tearing down the brotherhood.

 

Once your friends develop competence in their career, they will have status and self confidence. This obviously doesn't guarantee them a girlfriend, but regardless, it will guarantee them a more rewarding life with or without a significant other. Actually, I have found that the most important and rewarding relationships most men have (besides kids and family) are with their male friends. Good male friends will be there no matter what happens. In today's society, it's difficult to say that in reference to a significant other.

 

Also, please tell your friends that it's not that uncommon for many men to struggle in dating until they reach their late 20s or 30s. The reason for this is obvious: until this time, most men haven't established a successful career and, thus, attained high status. For this reason, unless they possess good looks or natually have high status through their personality, playing ball or playing in a band, most men don't have status when they are any younger than this.

 

See we originally got off on the wrong foot I suppose, because I actually agree with most of what you are saying. Well my friends all have degrees, some have masters... all but one have decent jobs. However, I have the best job out of them all and am still working on my degree (I had too much fun my first time around in college and am paying for it now)... then again, that can be attributed to knowing people in high places. Although I am very good at my job and making a name for myself. I do agree, the one friend in particular question does have a degree, but is working retail. He lives at home and he does not have a car. He makes attempts to date, but he gets thrust in to the friendzone and puts up with a lot of BS. He is a better looking guy than me... at my current weight anyway, if I lose the weight I would be a 9 or 10 out of 10 for most girls (I have been offered plus sized mens suits modeling gigs, but that is not my thing so I turn them down). However, he is no where near as confident, or as outgoing as I am. I try to help him. My other friend who is really succesful in every other aspect of life, except for women, tries to help this friend out too... Admittedly, my friend in question and the other more sucessful friend do go to the clubs all the time now to pick up girls. They dance with girls but can never seel the deal, which drives me nuts when I watch this. lol. And as you said, male bonding is a good thing. I honestly don't have any female friends in real life that are not lesbians... and they number 2. They are the butch type, so I count them as being like guys. The vast majority of my real life friends are men. My fiance knows that I need guy time and that I will never give up my friends. I did once for my first girl friend, and when things broke apart my friends were there to pick me up. Never again will a woman come between my friends and I. So I agree with you for the most part. But trust me, looks can only get you so far. If you have horrible social skills and are not the cock-of-the-walk then you are not going to get far. That is my opinion anyway.