Seeing ex around campus can be very awkward

[drumguy18]

Hello, everyone.

 

It's been around 10 months since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, and things for the most part are going just fine. The first couple months following the end of the relationship, I sorta dwelled on it, and in doing so I tried to maintain a friend-esque relationship with my ex. But during that time, I was still having trouble with the change and I was really just keeping her around in hopes she would come back. Anyway, I finally released that this was making me miserable, so I told her that a friendship with her at the time was hard on me, and that I wasn't really doing it for the right reasons. So, I decided to sort of cut her off (not in a rude way-- she respected my decision to cut ourselves off from one another).

 

Anyway, things have been going well, and the separation definitely helped me to become much happier and accept the change almost instantly. However, now that college has started back up, I'm in a position where although I don't really have to interact with my ex, I do tend to bump into her now and then, either walking on campus or in the student union, etc. When I'm in a place where I think I might bump into her, though, I tend to subconsciously look out for her, as if I was worried about being seen by her. When I have bumped into her, I usually get an extremely awkward, discomforting feeling from something as simple as saying hello.

 

Anyway, to an extent I know I should expect it to be awkward when seeing her, but I also think I should be able to do something about it. The problem is that I've only been in one serious relationship -- the one with her -- so I don't really know how someone should act towards an ex, what is considered "normal", etc. Right now, saying we never communicate is an understatement, and I'm usually okay with that, except that it makes it overly awkward when I do see her, which may happen from time to time while on campus.

 

Do you think I should be more friendly to her, or even try to bring back a "friendship"? Do you think this is more of a game of trying to be more mature than the other after the breakup? Is it reasonable to think that she probably feels awkward too, and that it's just something I have to live with?

 

The thing I'm most concerned about is just the fact that I even worry about seeing her. I would rather feel comfortable enough that I can walk around those areas of campus without subconsciously keeping an eye out. I also don't want to be disrespectful to her since it has been a while after the relationship, and I don't want to really make any kind of enemy out of her.

 

So, what do you think? Should I do anything differently to subdue the awkwardness, or is it just something I should learn to live with?

 

Thanks,

--Kyle

[crazydawg]

just say hi and smile, and walk away if she wnats she'll stop you. I've been there and tried talking its worthless. Yet thats my opinion. Just do what u feel is right. Show her your happy

[gersanos]

I am going through a similar experience right now. Me and my ex are going to the same law school. The girl picks the same school as me over the summer to be with me, but 2 weeks into law school she says her feelings aren't as strong. I rejected friendship because it would hurt me. I miss the girl still, but just try to stay away from her and give space to each of us.

 

That awkward feeling I know to well. It hits me as soon as I get near campus each day. My ex started smoking again when school started, and each morning I hope that she is not outside the door smoking as I'm going to walk into school. Then once on campus, we pretty much try and avoid one another (we know where each one of us has classes and at what time). It's really bizarre. I feel like we are being little kids about it. We still do have feelings for one another, but a shroud of resentment lingers over those.

 

As time passes, it's not as awkward, but it still kind of is. I wonder if I should say "hi," if I should just ignore her, if I should be mean, etc. The best bet is to smile and say hi though. Come across as mean only if you want nothing to do with the girl ever again. If you blatantly disrespect her, then she'll get the message. But if you come across as your natural self and happy, she can see how well you are doing without her. I guess there are numerous theories for each approach. Either way, I think it is natural for it to be awkward. In time that'll pass. But flashing a grin and walking tall exudes your confidence.