Naked Photos

[cherrycrush1009]

So my boyfriend just went to jail for a parole violation. I had to move home because he was the one making the money for rent. I ended up taking his laptop with me because my mother had bought it for him. We have been talking, in letters, visits, and phone calls. Yesterday I was on the external hard drive for this computer and found naked pictures of two women. One was pictures of him having sex with his baby mama, it says photo taken 2007 but she is a lot thicker now then she used to be and she does not look skinny at all in those photos. Then there are pictures of his friends wife, and my friend. She is bat **** crazy but she is very attractive and almost so bat **** crazy she would send those to him just for fun. I am not sure what to make of this. Also, about two months ago I found a topless photo of my roommate (at the time). He said she sent it to him to send to someone else who changes there number often. Writing all this out it would be stupid to even consider staying with him. I am worried he will explain it all away.He is very good at that and I believe him every time.

 

Thank you

[CarrieT]

So my boyfriend just went to jail for a parole violation.

You can do better - break up with him.

 

my mother had bought it [a computer] for him.

Uhhhh? You mother bought you BF a computer? He couldn't buy one himself? Break up with him.

 

Writing all this out it would be stupid to even consider staying with him.

Yep - break up with him....

 

I am worried he will explain it all away.He is very good at that and I believe him every time.

Hold to your guns. Let him explain away. He has a child he can't take care of, he is in jail, and he seems to be a user. That is all you need to believe.

 

Break up with him.

[Try]

So my boyfriend just went to jail for a parole violation.

Why is that when women date bad boys, they expect them to play by the rules and not act like bad boys? You are going out with a man that is going to jail for a parole violation, and you are shocked that he would cheat on you? Really? Think this through with your brain and not with your heart.

[JessieJ08]

Well he is lying no doubt all the pictures maybe seeing one would be easy to let go but this many Come On sweetheart this guy is up to no good not just in his relationships but life. Being in jail Having a kid he doesn't take care of, He is not even worth the energy or having a relationship with.

 

Its very hard I get what your saying that he will talk it away and LIE and your right he will you will never get the full truth from him I hate to say it. Dont hang around and wait to find out how bad he truly is the more you let him think he can get away with that and keep you trust me the worse it will get down to him cheating right in front of your face, he will lie and say whatever even though your seeing it.

 

Do whats best for you Find a real Guy thats worth being with :-)

[ExpatInItaly]

Good heavens. Please, PLEASE tell us you never believed his lie about your roommate's topless photos. That is a huge pile of b.s. wrapped in WTF-ery.

 

Not to mention his other charming traits...

[Chi townD]

On parole. Caught a parole violation to take him back away. Mom has to buy him a computer and he got not just one, but SEVERAL naked pics of women (that YOU KNOW) on his computer?

 

Sounds like a catch!

 

 

Girl, seriously? I know people make mistakes and they pay there debt to society. But, he couldn't even abide to the rules of his parole!

 

You deserve better. You deserve a man that will be there for you. And what happens if this guy isn't reformed and he gets out and does something WHILE you're with him! He catches a case and you're going down with him. All because you're with a known felon. Is that worth it to you?

 

You deserve better. Stop chasing after the "bad boys" and find yourself a good guy.

[Xinreeki]

Good heavens. Please, PLEASE tell us you never believed his lie about your roommate's topless photos. That is a huge pile of b.s. wrapped in WTF-ery.

 

Not to mention his other charming traits...

 

Nicely put.

 

And yes, I agree with everyone else here. This guy is clearly bad news.

 

If I were you, I'd try my best to distance myself from him as much as possible, and yes, I'd definitely recommend you break up with him as soon as possible if you haven't already.

 

You can do a LOT better. And you deserve a LOT better!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Oh c'mon, don't scare the first-time poster away before she confides in us just what he was on PAROLE for !!!

 

 

I'm really curious!!

[Star Gazer]

You should very easily be able to tell when he saved the photos to his computer and/or hard drive by looking at the properties (date saved).

 

That said, this guy is clearly faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from a winner. These pictures sound like the least of your problems insofar as he's concerned. Be thankful he's incarcerated, and get far away from him!

[Tinie]

Why are you dating a criminal? More so, why are you dating a cheating criminal? You're being disrespectful to yourself. Find someone who is actually worth your time and dump this loser.

[cherrycrush1009]

Oh c'mon, don't scare the first-time poster away before she confides in us just what he was on PAROLE for !!!

 

 

I'm really curious!![/quote

 

Okay so before you say anything read the whole story.

 

He is on Parole for stabbing someone. This sounds awful, but...it started when his drunk girlfriend started yelling (heated argument) she left and went next door to his cousins apartment. He comes in all 300 pounds of him and threatens him. He grabs a knife because one this guy is 300 pounds and two this is the cousin that molested him for 7 years when he was a child (6-13), his cousin was in his teens at the time. So the cousin leaves, well next thing you know he called the girlfriends brother, who picked up a buddy on the way, one holding a bat, the other holding a knife. So they run up the stairs to this apartment as the cousin comes from the right with a knife, he kicks them down the stairs to stop them, three against one, not easy. He gets stabbed once, everyone gets something (he was lunging after the cousin the whole time because he thought he was going to die so why not bring the bastard who ruined your childhood with you. Eventually they are all arrested. He is the only one who went to jail because they called him the "aggressor" due to the fact that when he went to kick those guys coming after him down the stairs he stepped off of his property (his balcony). So yes, none of them got any time. One is now back in prison for a little bit, the other one is in jail for life for killing someone else and his cousin is roaming the streets with his big happy family of three boys He deserved the violations he got because he was doing stupid crap (dont really wanna get into that) but they gave him 6 charges, one for empty specialty beers I try and save in order to some day make a "3d wallpaper border" of all the ones I have tasted over the years. They got him for his kids pocket knife which was in the kitchen, then they got him for a samari sword that was hanging on the wall as a decoration(we had no idea that would count because it was a blunt piece of decoration) one for driving without a license (idiot, I will give you that one) and two others I wish to keep to myself (deserving of violations for sure) This is exactly what he needed. We actually broke up the day before he went in. We will see if Woodland(the town) sucks him back in. He cant leave because of parole but his friends are just low lifes and the only friends he has ever known, the only life he has ever known. I sound like I am making excuses but I am not, I am still very upset and will not be contacting him any longer. If he decides he wants to turn his life around a few months down the road, maybe but its gonna take a lot of work on his part.

 

Some of you guys are awfully blunt, I already feel stupid for letting him do some of the things he has done. I appreciate all the feedback, it has help me a lot by making sure I stick to not talking, writing or visiting him.

[dreamingoftigers]

Don't see "if he turns his life around."

 

WTF?

 

He messed your life around. He's a cheating, lying scumbag.

 

As if you'd even put yourself at risk for someone who'd "changed" for a few months.

 

Get OUT of it forever. Okay most people DO NOT end up in situations where three guys are coming to stab and beat you and you are stabbing them. Okay? Something is really wrong there. Really really wrong.

 

Do not reinvolve yourself with this dunce.

 

Find someone who has maybe a JOB, a GOAL in life, and is CONSIDERATE.

Someone who doesn't have to "reform" from screwing your friends taking pictures.

[Chi townD]

Oh c'mon, don't scare the first-time poster away before she confides in us just what he was on PAROLE for !!!

 

 

I'm really curious!![/quote

 

He cant leave because of parole but his friends are just low lifes and the only friends he has ever known, the only life he has ever known. I sound like I am making excuses but I am not, I am still very upset and will not be contacting him any longer. If he decides he wants to turn his life around a few months down the road, maybe but its gonna take a lot of work on his part.

 

 

Okay, he's had a hard life and he has low life friends. But, that was his choice! He didn't HAVE to hang around folks that are involved in questionable behavior, because look where it's got him. And he gets out on parole and he does some stupid stuff; stuff that could have been handle by the police and get thrown back in. Do you think he learned anything? Do you think he's reformed? Do you think he though, "Look, they're doing some stupid crap over there and I'm not gonna get involved because I'm trying to get my life straight and be here for my girl."

 

Now, off the subject of piss poor choices. He has pics of naked girls in his computer. Girl that you know. Not some random pics of some random models. Girls...that...you....know....

 

And he's kept them! Makes you wonder what he's doing with these women that makes them comfortable enough to go ahead and send him naked pictures.

 

Time to move on sweetie. Is it gonna hurt? Yep! But, you got to look out for yourself. You KNOW you deserve better. You should always want something better for yourself. This guy isn't it.

[dreamingoftigers]

OP,

 

It's great that you've decided to go NC with this guy and not visit him etc.

 

But seriously, you need to extend that into forever, or else holding out hope for this is just a "temporary punishment" to him and he'll play ball with it until you either cave out of lonliness or believing his motivations.

 

This isn't a new game with him and clearly plays women.

 

Leave it alone and start completely over.

Oh yeah, and lose the bat **** crazy "friend" too.

 

Somewhere along the line you learned to try to see "why" people do what they do and evaluate if it's "justified."

 

I used to do this when I was younger. Here's the thing: EVERYONE has a "why" and everyone has a justification based on the context of their life and history. Sure, these were the "only friends he's ever known" and "he grew up harshly." Now what? He gets a Golden Ticket to behave however he pleases? Or a pass into certain behaviours but not others?

 

You can't live a life justifying harmful behaviour. As sad as it is the people have had miserable lives and have learned poor skill sets, it is not your JOB to "help and educate" a man on "how not to be a criminal and screw your friends."

 

Each of us has a role in each other's life, each of those roles come with boundaries. Sort of like hiring someone for a job, except we hire each other. When you "hired" your boyfriend, the idea is that he ALREADY has the sense, maturity, stability and loyalty for the job. You screened put other applicants who didn't have the appropriate criteria and this is the candidate you chose.

 

Even if only ONE person is applying for the position, if you can see that they would run your business (life) into the ground, you don't expand HR to take them on and hire them. It's a POOR INVESTMENT.

 

So what did this guy have on his relational resume?

Recent conviction? On parole? (that's for starters)

 

Now do you hire him?

How do you treat yourself?

Are you a convict-to-work type of business? The type that keeps getting screwed over and over again? The type where office supplies and funds go out the door because you have a series of crooks take advantage of the employment program you offer? The type of places where you have to offer "how to act/behave in the workplace" classes? The type of place where you look on the outside in and know that only a narrow minority of the people inside those classes will even take part of the message and figure some part of it out?

 

Or are you a Fortune 500 Company with reasonable security, a screening process in place who looks at incomplete or bogus resumes and tosses them in the trash. The kind of place who would've written back to your boyfriend "sorry we have no position available for your skill set at this time. Please feel free to examine your options at the convict-to-work program."

 

What kind of company are you? And what kind of company do you want to keep?

 

Without a standard or a cut-off line, it opens the door to ALL KINDS of treatment from people who may have "good intentions" or be "nice guys" but simply don't have the credentials to match their act.

 

I know that a lot of posters are saying "well you got the bad boy and he was bad DUH" but I'm sure he was actually pretty nice TO YOU, for awhile.

Usually people come across pretty nice to people they want to date. You probably truly didn't see it coming. That he had "had it rough and was making changes and had a tough life."

 

But the thing is, a persons resume (when I say resume in this example I am using it as a figure of speech for "life & relationship history.") tells a lot about

them. It can show directionality.

 

If you are an employer of a Fortune 500 company and you see that someone has a criminal past, how long ago was it? What have they done for what length of time to move past it? I would say NO CLOSER THAN FIVE YEARS AT LEAST, depending on the offense. There are guys that do dumb things as late teens and I wouldn't go near that guy for AT LEAST ten years of SOLID, QUALITY life history and that's only if he did something dumb like shoplifting or stealing something. Assault? Forget it. Not because "he's a loser" but because every time that background check goes, ASSAULT pops up. That limits a lot of things in life. A lot of opportunity etc.

 

In my country, you can't even travel across the border anymore. Blah.

 

Hire someone with more mobility that you have a better chance of trusting.

A Fortune 500 company would rarely re-hire someone proven untrustworthy, and neither should you.

 

Sometimes, far down the line if an employee has DEVELOPED a problem after YEARS of solid, SOLID service the company may grant a leave of absence to deal with larger issues. (I.e. Give the person time off without pay to attend drug or alcohol treatment). But that is NOT THE NORM.

 

SCREEN BETTER AND DO NOT REHIRE.

[crederer]

You should probably just support him.

 

Seriously though, did you even read your own post? Cmon! good God!

[Try]

@the OP: You do realize that every jailbird, and I mean every, has a story as to why they are not at fault. We you speak to the other parties involved, you soon discover what the jury and judge discovered, that there was more to the story than the person charged will ever admit.

[ExpatInItaly]

Oh c'mon, don't scare the first-time poster away before she confides in us just what he was on PAROLE for !!!

 

 

I'm really curious!![/quote

 

Okay so before you say anything read the whole story.

 

He is on Parole for stabbing someone. This sounds awful, but...it started when his drunk girlfriend started yelling (heated argument) she left and went next door to his cousins apartment. He comes in all 300 pounds of him and threatens him. He grabs a knife because one this guy is 300 pounds and two this is the cousin that molested him for 7 years when he was a child (6-13), his cousin was in his teens at the time. So the cousin leaves, well next thing you know he called the girlfriends brother, who picked up a buddy on the way, one holding a bat, the other holding a knife. So they run up the stairs to this apartment as the cousin comes from the right with a knife, he kicks them down the stairs to stop them, three against one, not easy. He gets stabbed once, everyone gets something (he was lunging after the cousin the whole time because he thought he was going to die so why not bring the bastard who ruined your childhood with you. Eventually they are all arrested. He is the only one who went to jail because they called him the "aggressor" due to the fact that when he went to kick those guys coming after him down the stairs he stepped off of his property (his balcony). So yes, none of them got any time. One is now back in prison for a little bit, the other one is in jail for life for killing someone else and his cousin is roaming the streets with his big happy family of three boys He deserved the violations he got because he was doing stupid crap (dont really wanna get into that) but they gave him 6 charges, one for empty specialty beers I try and save in order to some day make a "3d wallpaper border" of all the ones I have tasted over the years. They got him for his kids pocket knife which was in the kitchen, then they got him for a samari sword that was hanging on the wall as a decoration(we had no idea that would count because it was a blunt piece of decoration) one for driving without a license (idiot, I will give you that one) and two others I wish to keep to myself (deserving of violations for sure) This is exactly what he needed. We actually broke up the day before he went in. We will see if Woodland(the town) sucks him back in. He cant leave because of parole but his friends are just low lifes and the only friends he has ever known, the only life he has ever known. I sound like I am making excuses but I am not, I am still very upset and will not be contacting him any longer. If he decides he wants to turn his life around a few months down the road, maybe but its gonna take a lot of work on his part.

 

Some of you guys are awfully blunt, I already feel stupid for letting him do some of the things he has done. I appreciate all the feedback, it has help me a lot by making sure I stick to not talking, writing or visiting him.

 

Wut

[pcplod]

You should very easily be able to tell when he saved the photos to his computer and/or hard drive by looking at the properties (date saved).

 

Ordinarily your advice would be correct. However, it is fairly easy to change the file attributes (not with standard system tools) and therefore falsify the data. Having said that, it sounds as if this guy wouldn't actually have the first idea where to start with that, so your advice is still good. Just thought you might like to know.

 

By the way, as it is a picture file, it is possible, although not necessarily certain, that the file will contain metadata, which might reveal a bit more. Generally, standard file management tools will not reveal that.