poptartkev Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Ok here is the link to my initial post, but I will make a long story short for those who do not want to read all of that. 3 1/2 years we were together and not the most stable relationship but it was much better after the first year or so. She went on a trip and slept with a random guy that was her friends friend or something. I called her out in an email since she was out of the country. She called me immediately and very apologetic and I told her I was better than that and didn't want anything to do with it anymore. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/384828-my-girlfriend-does-not-know-i-know Soooo I received something like 8 texts the first two days. Then went a week and received a lengthy email that seemed very sincere. Two weeks later I received a text that just says hey. Another week another text saying sorry. And now two days ago I received another email. I have not responded to anything. This last email is kind of getting to me for some reason. She states that she understands how she has hurt me and understands I am moving on without her in my life. I can sense the frustration of her being ignored the more the email goes on. She asks why I can't just tell her to leave me alone and to not contact her. She asks if I am punishing her by giving her the silent treatment. She says that its so easy for me to tell her just to f*** off. I have been traveling for around a month seeing the country and have had good days and bad days. I am not sure if I should reply to this one or not. A part of me wants to say something like I understand being ignored is frustrating but I dont see anything positive resulting from us speaking at this time. Maybe down the road. Another part of me wants to just rip her a new one and just verbally express how she has made me feel and what I now think about her. And then a part of me wants to just ignore it again. This email is different though haha. Something is telling me the right thing to do is let her know something. Then again does she even deserve that? Ughhhhhhh help please. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 This last email is kind of getting to me for some reason. She states that she understands how she has hurt me and understands I am moving on without her in my life. I can sense the frustration of her being ignored the more the email goes on. She asks why I can't just tell her to leave me alone and to not contact her. She asks if I am punishing her by giving her the silent treatment. She says that its so easy for me to tell her just to f*** off. I don't get it. Wouldn't you think that the last communication you had with her would have tipped her off that you caught her, you ended it and told her that you deserved better? What's more to say? Probalem is, you've stopped talking and she doesn't know where your head is at. She doesn't know if you don't care or if you truely hate her, or your sad, or angry or indifferent. Don't send anything. You should never send anything until when you think about her, all you feel is indifferent. If you're ready to blast her....well, that's not indifferent is it..... How are your travels? Having fun I hope? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author poptartkev Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks for the reply. Travels are going great! I have experienced so many things and seen so many places so far. I figured she was contacting me to see where I am and how I'm doing. Also I feel she is doing it to relinquish her guilt in a way. I don't know what to do. I probably won't give her the luxury of a response. I also juuuust found out my best friend back home is throwing a big cookout/pool party and she is going. I find it incredibly strange she wants to go hang out with all of my friends that she met through me after we got together and that they would even invite her. Baffling. I am tired of holding all of this is in but I don't want her to know she is having an effect on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Does she know you're traveling the country? She probably accepted the invite thinking that she might run into you there. Might be a shock to her to find out that you're gone and seeing the world! Link to post Share on other sites
Author poptartkev Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 She knows I am gone, she just doesn't know where. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Alright well I think it may do you both a favor for you to text her and tell her you have no intentions to speak to her ever, it's over and leave you alone. If that's what she wants, give it to her. i don't see a problem with that text/e-mail. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) I don't think you owe her a response. You already said everything you need to. The right thing for HER to have done was to let you know that she cheated herself (well actually to not have cheated in the first place but besides that), instead of you having to find out from somewhere else. She is only "so so so so sorry" (did I get the number of "so"s right?) because she got caught. Otherwise you'd still be in the dark about the whole thing. Edited May 21, 2013 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
Author poptartkev Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Staying with No Contact. Thanks for the input. The email seemed as if I was being given an ultimatum or something. Who cares, she cheated and it is over. The End. Maybe one day we can talk but not todayyyyyy. Going to the beach 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 You already know she is more than willing to cheat if the opportunity arises and she thinks she can get away with it, you already know that she is a liar and would have taken the truth to her grave. Her friend is more than willing to be her accomplice and help her do it. Is this who you really want in your life? If she can cheat and lie while in a three year relationship she will cheat and lie in a marriage. Friend, you dogged a bullet, enjoy your trip, in time you will meet someone you won't have to police or worry if she is keeping you safe. The fact that she bragged to her friend about his cute accent and the 6 hour mattress pounding she took should tell you just about everything you need to know. Crickets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 She cheating on you because she could. You like any dude put her on that pedestal being the good guy you are, some people take advantage of that...now it killing her, because she can't understand why she doesn't matter, she's not on that pedestal anymore. You are teaching her a very valuable life lesson. Actions have consequences..but also you are indeed better than that. She knows why you're not replying. Ordinarily I'd say reply her and tell her where to go, but it's pretty obvious you dont want to talk to her and why, now she's resorting to guilt tripping, which in my opinion is even worse because it seems sincere and heartfelt but it's everything but. Have fun my man, enjoy life and have a good time. I'm guessing when you touch down home you'll have to deal with her soon enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Iama Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Dude don't give in to anything. You can make out of this some moral satisfaction that the fact was she DID NOT reject you, but was simply too dumb. Just reading your previous post made me sick to my stomach... Cheating and then bragging about it...... WHO THE **** DOES THAT? Link to post Share on other sites
Author poptartkev Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate it greatly. Reassurance is always extremely helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
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