Older men flirting with young women.

[pcplod]

Show me where I insisted other people need to align with me. I asked a simple question as to whether YOU, readers of the thread thought it was ok or not. I was expecting 'It's ok because xyz...' or 'No it's not ok becuase xyz'. Instead I was called a this that and the other...

 

Your are now being lamely defensive and it looks even worse. You deliberately chose to use the very pejorative word "creepy". Many associate the use of that word with being made to make a subjective, judgemental statement. It is used most often when making a one-way assertion, not to pose a balanced question. Heck, you didn't even care to reflect before posting and ask instead "Do you find that creepy or is it pretty tame and harmless"? No, you had already formulated your opinion in your mind before you posted, even if you prefer to now deny it, even to yourself.

[USMCHokie]

It's never a good idea to flirt with any girl when you are old enough to be her dad.

 

What if they "flirt" with you...?

[xxoo]

What if they "flirt" with you...?

 

I'm a woman, but if a young man who could be my son flirted with me, I'd tell him he's young enough to be my son and move on.

 

I spend time with 19 yo people. I can't see how a 40 year old can talk to a 19 year old and still want sex. I guess if you are blinded by lust, you don't notice the teenage mindset? All I see is "kid" after I talk to them.

[Emilia]

I can't see how a 40 year old can talk to a 19 year old and still want sex. I guess if you are blinded by lust, you don't notice the teenage mindset? All I see is "kid" after I talk to them.

Hmmm

[therhythm]

I'm a woman, but if a young man who could be my son flirted with me, I'd tell him he's young enough to be my son and move on.

 

I spend time with 19 yo people. I can't see how a 40 year old can talk to a 19 year old and still want sex. I guess if you are blinded by lust, you don't notice the teenage mindset? All I see is "kid" after I talk to them.

 

I guess that is your way of perceiving it, for a male 40 yo a 19 yo woman is sexually attractive and many men don't really care about personality or age gap when it comes to sex. If the 19 yo woman likes the attention and is a willing participant on the flirting (or even more) no one can say anything about it as it is two adults having consensual flirting or even sex if it gets to it.

I see a lot of people who have morals around a concrete topic and they try to force that morals to other people who don't think that way, and that is immoral!

[Esoteric Elf]

I don't know if I've got a stick up my but but there's an attractive young women that works in the hardware store next to where I work and some guy in his late 30's to early 40's was making sexual innuendos with her and she's 19! I see her a lot because we're constantly getting things from there and she seems cool and such. It was pretty full on and she laughed but my thinking is I'm about 12 years older than her and I wouldn't make a joke like his. I kid around/banter with her but not in a sexual manner. I say the guy should be called a creeper! So is he a creeper for making innuendos with a woman whom he's old enough to be her father or do I need to get with the times? Reality check!

I am not purporting that this is the case here, but some men have missed out on the relatively early (teens-20's) part of the dating game by either working hard to secure a job, being too shy or awkward, etc., so flirting with younger girls might be a way of filling that gap in their love life.

[USMCHokie]

I spend time with 19 yo people. I can't see how a 40 year old can talk to a 19 year old and still want sex. I guess if you are blinded by lust, you don't notice the teenage mindset? All I see is "kid" after I talk to them.

 

All I see is the 19 year old body.

[Taramere]

You don't have to care and if you don't why are you here? I didn't ask what to do or what to say or whether I'm jealous or the moral police. Yes I'm not the man or the woman in the scenario and thanks for pointing it out. I asked a simple question of whether YALL thought it was appropriate for 40 year old man to make sexual innuendoes with a 19 year old woman. Soo, do you think it's appropriate or not?

 

 

Trying to think back - yes, at 19 I was on the receiving end of sexual innuendo from men of that age at times, and could find it creepy at times. It depended on the personality of the man, and the position he was in (eg whether or not there was a power imbalance - for instance, boss of a company making sexual innuendoes to a 19 year old clerk).

 

At that age, I would occasionally fancy an older man (ie thirties, forties) if he were attractive and in good shape...but the older men I tended to find attractive back then were generally polite, remote sort of people who wouldn't have flirted with 19 year olds. If one of those older, physically attractive men I had a crush on had started making sexual innuendo then I would have likely got over my crush pretty quickly.

 

However, there's a sort of cheeky chappie type who can get away with sexualised banter most of the time. In workplaces when I was younger, I often had that kind of banter with guys who work in the mailroom, delivery men and so on. People who have the sort of job where they have a lot of short term, fairly egalitarian interactions with a wide group of people everyday, and tend to spice those interactions up with a bit of sexualised banter, dark humour etc that might not seem appropriate in other situations.

 

If the forty year old guy is in a position where he can dictate whether the nineteen year old girl can keep her job, get promotion etc - then any sexualised banter is more likely to take on a sleazier quality.

Edited May 22, 2013 by Taramere

[SJC2008]

Your are now being lamely defensive and it looks even worse. You deliberately chose to use the very pejorative word "creepy". Many associate the use of that word with being made to make a subjective, judgemental statement. It is used most often when making a one-way assertion, not to pose a balanced question. Heck, you didn't even care to reflect before posting and ask instead "Do you find that creepy or is it pretty tame and harmless"? No, you had already formulated your opinion in your mind before you posted, even if you prefer to now deny it, even to yourself.

 

I don't care how lame or how much worse it makes me look. There were posters here who took the opposite view but actually gave THEIR opinion to the question.

[SJC2008]

I am not purporting that this is the case here, but some men have missed out on the relatively early (teens-20's) part of the dating game by either working hard to secure a job, being too shy or awkward, etc., so flirting with younger girls might be a way of filling that gap in their love life.

 

Take notes forum. He disagrees with me but didn't call me jealous, the moral police, tell me it's none of my business. He gave HIS opinion and didn't hammer me nor try to force it on me. Thanks EE, I appreciate the feedback!

[SJC2008]

Your are now being lamely defensive and it looks even worse. You deliberately chose to use the very pejorative word "creepy". Many associate the use of that word with being made to make a subjective, judgemental statement. It is used most often when making a one-way assertion, not to pose a balanced question

 

I gave MY opinion, I thougt it was creepy. It doesn't mean you have to agree with it and if you don't feel free to chime in as to why!

Heck, you didn't even care to reflect before posting and ask instead "Do you find that creepy or is it pretty tame and harmless"? No, you had already formulated your opinion in your mind before you posted, even if you prefer to now deny it, even to yourself.

 

I don't know if I've got a stick up my but but there's an attractive young women that works in the hardware store next to where I work and some guy in his late 30's to early 40's was making sexual innuendos with her and she's 19! I see her a lot because we're constantly getting things from there and she seems cool and such. It was pretty full on and she laughed but my thinking is I'm about 12 years older than her and I wouldn't make a joke like his. I kid around/banter with her but not in a sexual manner. I say the guy should be called a creeper! So is he a creeper for making innuendos with a woman whom he's old enough to be her father or do I need to get with the times? Reality check!

 

To me that looks like a question on your opinion. Hell I even said do I need to get with the times? Which means I'm open to your opinon as to whether YOU think it's appropriate. Instead I got mind my business and all the other stuff that I'm not going to repeat becuase I'm blue in the face already.

[Pillow]

It depends on how attractive the 40 year old man is. If the man looks like George Clooney, no matter how old he is right now, I would love the flirting. I would be upset if you tried to stop the banter.

 

If he looks like the average 40 year old Joe with 2 kids and a bad wife and beer belly, then yes that is creepy.

[Treasa]

Meh. They're both adults.

 

I was hit on by older guys all the time, and now by younger guys as well. I tend to laugh at the ones who are half my age and tell them how cute they are, and to give me a call in 20 years if they still want a romp.

[SJC2008]

Meh. They're both adults.

 

I was hit on by older guys all the time, and now by younger guys as well. I tend to laugh at the ones who are half my age and tell them how cute they are, and to give me a call in 20 years if they still want a romp.

 

Thanks Treasa:love: This is a perfect example of the answers I was expecting. She didn't agree with me but didn't judge me for my opinon and I appreciate that and respect her opinion.

[Esoteric Elf]

Take notes forum. He disagrees with me but didn't call me jealous, the moral police, tell me it's none of my business. He gave HIS opinion and didn't hammer me nor try to force it on me. Thanks EE, I appreciate the feedback!

No problem, if you are in earnest. I am a manager of people, so I love hearing people and their trials, triumphs, situations, etc. and I make sure I listen and play catch-up every day I see them. I prefer person-to-person talking as opposed to texting, etc. and such, so I hope that I am sensitive to what others feel and in tune to what constitutes as healthy and constructive in communication.

 

----Out for now.

[Estate]

You don't have to care and if you don't why are you here? I didn't ask what to do or what to say or whether I'm jealous or the moral police. Yes I'm not the man or the woman in the scenario and thanks for pointing it out. I asked a simple question of whether YALL thought it was appropriate for 40 year old man to make sexual innuendoes with a 19 year old woman. Soo, do you think it's appropriate or not?

 

I've answered that already. If the girl is fine with it then there is nothing wrong with it, what is your problem?

[Keenly]

Show me where I insisted other people need to align with me. I asked a simple question as to whether YOU, readers of the thread thought it was ok or not. I was expecting 'It's ok because xyz...' or 'No it's not ok becuase xyz'. Instead I was called a this that and the other...

 

Uhhhh what?

 

Some ones a little defensive. My post had nothing to do with you personally, but you've made it quite clear that opposing viewpoints bother you.

[SJC2008]

I've answered that already. If the girl is fine with it then there is nothing wrong with it, what is your problem?

 

Ok looking back I see that you did give an opinion so thatn's my mistake. TBS the above is your opinion and I'm not going to judge you for it. My problem is that people can't give their opinions without being disrespectful. Saying I'm the moral police had nothing to do with your opinion on it.

[SJC2008]

Uhhhh what?

 

Some ones a little defensive. My post had nothing to do with you personally, but you've made it quite clear that opposing viewpoints bother you.

 

Keenly I'm sorry that I jumped the gun, I felt like everyone was teaming up on me so I apologize that I assumed you were too. I don't have a problem with oposing viewpoints but why can't they give their opinion without name calling and making things up that make no sense. I can assure everyone here I was not jealous of some busta ass 40 year old man who looked like he was stuck in the 80's lol!

[MalachiX]

Show me where I insisted other people need to align with me. I asked a simple question as to whether YOU, readers of the thread thought it was ok or not. I was expecting 'It's ok because xyz...' or 'No it's not ok becuase xyz'. Instead I was called a this that and the other...

 

Dude, if you're seriously on aware of how you come across to other people then I think you have bigger issues than your opinion on older men and younger women.

 

Your posts show a consistent level of judgement of others including those who don't agree with you. You call the guy a "creeper" and then continually act shocked and outraged when other people say they don't have a problem with it. Seriously, if you don't get why people are turned off by your tone in this thread then you really need to spend some time examining what you say and how you react to other people.

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't know if I've got a stick up my but but there's an attractive young women that works in the hardware store next to where I work and some guy in his late 30's to early 40's was making sexual innuendos with her and she's 19! I see her a lot because we're constantly getting things from there and she seems cool and such. It was pretty full on and she laughed but my thinking is I'm about 12 years older than her and I wouldn't make a joke like his. I kid around/banter with her but not in a sexual manner. I say the guy should be called a creeper! So is he a creeper for making innuendos with a woman whom he's old enough to be her father or do I need to get with the times? Reality check!

 

Well, if not for the fact that she was at work when the flirting occurred, I don't see a problem with it.

 

Often times women prefer dating and sleeping with older men. They're better in the sack, have more money and life experience and are usually better looking and more confident.

 

I figure since I'm not dating any women aged 20-29, might as well let some older guys date those women in my stead...

[SJC2008]

Dude, if you're seriously on aware of how you come across to other people then I think you have bigger issues than your opinion on older men and younger women.

 

Your posts show a consistent level of judgement of others including those who don't agree with you. You call the guy a "creeper" and then continually act shocked and outraged when other people say they don't have a problem with it. Seriously, if you don't get why people are turned off by your tone in this thread then you really need to spend some time examining what you say and how you react to other people.

 

I think the problem was with the way I worded the OP. Mabye I should of just asked in general intead of asking about the man in question. I did get offensive because the first response was it's none of my business, I responed and then it snowballed and I got more defensive. But I didn't get defensive because they disagreed with me I got defensive when they said it was none of my business and to stop being the moral police and I was jealous and do xyz in the situation. There were plenty of people that didn't think it was creepy and left it at that, they didn't blast my opinion and I didn't blast theirs. I'm not perfect and am the first to admit it, I even apologized to keenly for overreacting to him. Even though the wording was poor in the op I think it was clear to what I was asking. I'll try to articulate better next time but I though I had good enough of a rep to be given some slack on wording and it appears I was wrong. Anyway, thanks for those who gave their opinion on the actual question, regardless of what side you took.

[RedRobin]

So far consensus is that it's kosher for a man in his late 30's-early 40's to drop sexual innuendos on 19 year olds. I'm packing my bags, Mayberry here I come!

 

Oh, don't you worry...

 

...the funniest part comes when the much older guy assumes that just because she joked back or doesn't completely blow him off is because she's interested or thinks he's attractive....

 

When really, it is more like pity.

 

Think about it.

[pcplod]

Oh, don't you worry...

 

...the funniest part comes when the much older guy assumes that just because she joked back or doesn't completely blow him off is because she's interested or thinks he's attractive....

 

When really, it is more like pity.

 

Think about it.

 

Though about it, and...

 

So, as a 50+ old guy who had to deal with 20+ young woman who insisted and insisted that I should cop a feel of her "great tits", in front of a bar full of people, should I have just gabbed the pair, given them a good kneading and a final tweak and then assumed that she was simply gagging for it or was in love with me, or should I have done what I did do and assume that she was pretty well pissed, oh, and one card short of a full suite, even when sober? Or maybe I should have done what a number of other men (and women too) did, give them a quick fondle, shrug their shoulders, giggle and move on?

 

As you seem to have your finger on the pulse of human behaviour so acutely, your advice might be enlightening?

 

Yours sincerely, (well, not)

[Taramere]

Though about it, and...

 

So, as a 50+ old guy who had to deal with 20+ young women who insisted and insisted that I should cop a feel of her "great tits", in front of a bar full of people, should I have just gabbed the pair, given them a good kneading and a final tweak and then assumed that she was simply gagging for it or was in love with me, or should I have done what I did do and assume that she was pretty well pissed, oh, and one card short of a full suite, even when sober? Or maybe I should have done what a number of other men (and women too) did, give them a quick fondle, shrug their shoulders, giggle and move on?

 

As you seem to have your finger on the pulse of human behaviour so acutely, your advice might be enlightening?

 

Yours sincerely, (well, not)

 

One time a friend had a boob job, and she insisted on showing me the finished results. They looked very round - like two beachballs. Then she told me to feel them. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just sort of prodded one of her boobs and left it at that.