speaking of office christmas parties...

[confused!]

my boyfriend of a few months went to his company christmas party was fri night. 2wks ago he mentioned it to me and i guess i was expecting him to ask me to go with him. but then he dindt say anything till the day of the party. he

 

said he was gonna go with some friends at work. he called me on his way there and said something like you wouldnt have come with me, would you? and i said yeah i wouldve. and he said, now i feel guilty, but then he said well i dont really wanna bring my personal life to a work party.

 

and when he came back, he told me he saw his ex-girlfriend there (she works for the same company). and i casually asked if he talked to her and he said yeah she was asking me who i was there with sorta trying to see if i was dating someone. and he said just some friends. and didnt tell her he was dating me. well i dunno if i'm jumping to conclusions cuz its such a small matter. but its making me feel sorta 'unwanted'. like was he embarrassed to bring me to the party? and i know his ex-gf was real pretty. maybe he felt ashamed or something to bring me with him cause he knew she'd be there? this probably dont make no sense.

 

or is it an understandable matter that he'd rather not tell people we're dating?

[Tony T]

He didn't take you to the party because he knew his ex would be there. He didn't tell her he was dating anyone because he wants to leave his options open with her.

 

A guy who will not take you with him to public functions, especially something like a Christmas party, should be watched very closely.

 

I really don't want to alarm you but you should not start feeling too secure in this relationship because your dude is on the prowl.

 

If I were you, I'd be pretty pissed that he's keeping things very open to going back with his ex...or perhaps getting something going on the side. I would never want to cause any problems for anyone but, in this case, there are alarms going off all over the place. You better take heed.

 

Your guy is a jerk in disguise...if you haven't noticed.

[Nic]

i'd be pretty wary if i were you. if you've only be going out for a few months, isn't that the time that he'd really want to 'show off' his new catch? and when you've started seeing someone you really like, don't you usually want to let everyone know about your great catch?

 

i'd agree with tony too - he's wanting to keep his options open with her. or perhaps she's not over him and he doesn't want to hurt her. either way, he sounds a bit dodgy.

 

and i wouldn't worry about her being pretty or anything. that hardly matters. she could have been butt ugly and he'd still be doing the same thing.

 

so early on in the relationship and he couldn't bring you to a party or admit you were in his life.....i'd be careful about this one.

 

my boyfriend of a few months went to his company christmas party was fri night. 2wks ago he mentioned it to me and i guess i was expecting him to ask me to go with him. but then he dindt say anything till the day of the party. he said he was gonna go with some friends at work. he called me on his way there and said something like you wouldnt have come with me, would you? and i said yeah i wouldve. and he said, now i feel guilty, but then he said well i dont really wanna bring my personal life to a work party.

 

and when he came back, he told me he saw his ex-girlfriend there (she works for the same company). and i casually asked if he talked to her and he said yeah she was asking me who i was there with sorta trying to see if i was dating someone. and he said just some friends. and didnt tell her he was dating me. well i dunno if i'm jumping to conclusions cuz its such a small matter. but its making me feel sorta 'unwanted'. like was he embarrassed to bring me to the party? and i know his ex-gf was real pretty. maybe he felt ashamed or something to bring me with him cause he knew she'd be there? this probably dont make no sense. or is it an understandable matter that he'd rather not tell people we're dating?

[Anastasia]

It's pretty obvious he didn't want to you go with him, for some reason. Saying that he didn't want to bring his personal life to work is an excuse for him not wanting you to be there. I would be very miffed if a guy I had just started seeing didn't bother mentioning me to his ex girlfriend. Gotta ask yaself why he didn't. Something fishy about his intentions here, me thinks!

 

Good luck

[bananas]

Pretty much the same thing has happened to me lately (as with the rash of messages from me on this board!)

 

My gf at the time wouldnt mention me to her ex bf, and not once did I meet her friends, or her mum for that matter!!

 

I have to agree with the other replies on this, although im not exactly qualified to give you a plan of action, I would just be a bit careful and try to see what his mood is like around you.

 

As with my situation, if no one knows about you, its easier for him to move on without having to explain much..

 

Such a shame that these people exist!