Fat guys need love to...

[pcplod]

I know this is going to annoy, but I am going to say it anyway because I am a lard-arse and know only too well, sadly, what I am talking about.

 

At 6' 0" and 275lbs you have a BMI of nearly 37, which classifies you as "severely obese". Even at 220lbs it is nearly 30 and you are "overweight".

 

I know that using BMI as an indicator of suitable body weight is rather controversial these days and has fallen out of favour to measurements like body composition. The only thing with that is that measuring body composition is both time consuming and expensive. Why waste time on money when you basically know the broad truth via BMI? Why fool yourself into believing that because some freakzoid football player, mainlining steroids and doping his blood and spending all his waking hours in the gym has a BMI of 40 but doesn't have an ounce of fat on him, so that must apply to people like you and me as well? It's a crock, you know it, I know it, who else would we actually fool?

 

Take another way of looking at it. If your wife's BMI was nearly 37. how do you think you might be (secretly) reacting? How many "too tired", "busy", "stressed" excuses would you be getting out on a weekly basis? We are all vain and shallow when it comes to our interests. When you first met her, you didn't think, well she looks such a dog, but she is lovable, like a mongrel, so it's actually okay.

 

If you are brutally honest with yourself, how do your own excuses about putting on weight and not being able to get it off sound if you imagine them coming from another guy, say, like me. Would you be tempted even a bit to diss him/me? I know it is hard, it is a struggle, it's an unfair battle and that current medical research is increasingly proving that it is not just a question of overeating and poor self-control, but the thing is that although some of these issues are having some better light shone on them, there is no sign of a miracle solution on the horizon any time soon.

 

I have come to the acceptance that if it concerns me or stops me from achieving other things I want to do, I have to be prepared to make whatever sacrifices that I need to make, that I need to trade one thing for another, that I truly can't have my cake and eat it, even if it appears that others can. That's just life. That's what my parents' genes have gifted to me, and I just have to deal with it, just as it is.

 

My problem is I love food. I love good quality healthy food. And I love junk food. I just love food, period. It is a true addiction to me as near as make no difference, when compared to drug, tobacco, or alcohol addiction. Whenever I am depressed, anxious or just plain bored, I go looking for food, any food, as a pleasant distraction. And difficult though it is to lose excess weight, it is nowhere as difficult as keeping that excess weight off. I have accepted that is my life-time personal burden. Right now I am losing weight because I have consciously decided that is more important than the things that would sabotage it.

 

If you were to be absolutely, cruelly honest with yourself what sort of 'lameness score' would you award yourself for failing to manage your diet and to compliment that with suitable exercise? And do you find yourself reaching for the beer and chips as way of consolation for not getting 'any'? I wouldn't criticise you if you did, but if you do, you've gotta really be honest with yourself because the only person who is made to suffer as a result is you.

 

One practical consideration, losing weight, purely through exercise is a pretty hopeless task. Sure it is an important adjunct to it and has a crucial role to maintaining a healthy life. Weight control alone will not keep you healthy. But the amount of time and physical effort it takes to burn off the calories of just one yummy Snickers bar is absolutely ridiculous. It is just isn't practical. Calorie control is the only feasible solution, whether we like it or not.

 

So, what is it to be? What are you going to do? What aren't you going to do?

 

Maybe if you and your model wife never have sex again, if you get yourself into shape, in a decent manner, at least you have a head start should you decide that your only choice is to chase after other models.

 

Here's hoping for you.

[Star Gazer]

Abs are made in the KITCHEN, not the gym. 70-80% of weight loss comes from what you put in your mouth, not what you do to your body.

 

Have you seen a nutritionist?

[kassy]

My mum was busy. She used to drop us off at our extra curricular activities, park the can and go for a run until just before be we're finished and pick us up and go home.

 

Your kids when they are doing homework/watching tv or playing don't need you the whole time there with them. Do your 15-45 minutes weights sessions then. You are good at excuses or very bad with time management.

 

It not sure if it would help you but a couple of my friends have done wonders changing their weight and life with Jon Gabriel's stuff. I personally haven't tried it but it sounds very doable, realistic to maintain and deals a lot of the emotional side of obesity and isn't a diet (from discussions with my friends is how I have this perception). Might help your weight but also your life in general.

[Jon Tenzo]

I hate to say this but I think you need to get a divorce. But first you should call a Lawyer. First off your wife is refusing sex based on your weight. Then she won't help you out to make time for your exercise routine. Sounds like complete BS and as a prior poster said she could be getting some action on the side.

 

Hire a private investigator and find out if she is. Because if such is the case, as much as it will hurt at least she won't be able to leave you broke and you may get the kids.

 

Now I am not exactly a chubby chaser but I don't like women who look like rails. However, I would not appreciate if my girlfriend put on 30 additional pounds and made the excuse that she couldn't go to the gym because work was too much and she wanted to see me more often. I would probably put her health first. You'll only have to heavy up at first and once your weight is in the safe zone you'll be able to go less often and go into "maintenance mode".

 

Also PCplod BMI is for the most part useless. I have a 25 BMI which means I'm technically overweight but the Doctor says I am completely fine. It's about where it's distributed.