JW1111 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) Hi, I would like to get some advice on my relationship problems. To start off, I am a 25 year old working man, I met this girl a year ago and she was 20 year old at that time. I know I felt in love with her the moment I met her. It took me 8 months to finally ask her to be my gf and she said yes. Our relationship went well except the fact that she wouldn't want to expose our relationship to people around her be it friends, best friends or family. I am okay with it. The thing is 2 months after dating I found out that she has an relationship that is left hanging. After a couple of arguments, she had finally manage to solved it and break it off entirely. Our relationship after that was perfect, she says she loves me all the time and so do I. However, from time to time I find that she is always flirting with other guys on text. I confronted her and she said this is just her way of making friends and it wasn't flirting, and that I am just being too sensitive. So I agreed to allow her to do that with one condition is to not lie to me. However, she don't flirts all the time, it is on and off and normally it only last 1 or 2 weeks. So our relationship was still sweet and she even once said that I am the only guy that she wants to marry me in the future. Everything was fine until 5 months into our relationship I had to leave the country for a month. She promised to send me a picture of her and a note about her day daily. About a week after that she stops sending and I sense that something was wrong but I didn't want to bring up the topic and raise an argument. Then about 1 more week after that, she came home from a party and she suddenly text me saying that she met a guy named W (a guy who she used to flirt with) and said she has no idea why she is sad and she miss him. My heart was broken into pieces and I ask her if she wants to break up and she says no. Later on, I told her that I want to break up and also give her sometime to think about it. She never reply or text me or whatsoever. I actually didn't mean to break up with her, I was just trying to let her know that I have feelings too, and I feel insecure. Now that she totally ignore me. What should I do? I really love her and I do not want to end a relationship just like that. Edited May 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Firstly, never break up with someone when you don't really mean it. That's not right and it backfires, as you learned the hard way. Secondly, she told you she's re-connected with another guy and that she misses HIM. Not YOU. She also flirted with other guys throughout your relationship, which you tolerated for some strange reason. What was the nature of the flirty text messaging? And why do you want someone who clearly has one foot (or both feet, now) out the door? Anyway...if you really still want to speak with her, contact her. Ask if you can talk. But think carefully first: what do you want from contacting her? A reunion, or closure? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Are you in a position to go see her rather than texing or are you still out the county? Also she should realise you have a right to be angry and not be ignoring you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JW1111 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 I am still out of the country and will only be back in a week..should I text her? What should I say? Link to post Share on other sites
Iama Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 RUN AND HIDE! Never excuse girls who are constantly flirting with other guys. That just means she is not fulfilled by YOUR ATTENTION 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I am still out of the country and will only be back in a week..should I text her? What should I say? Okay if i were you and i loved this girl... I wouldnt text (i think its inpersonal) Id write - send her a letter - you cant just delete a letter - i defy anyone to be able to stop themselves reading a handwrote letter (thou in my case they prob physically couldnt casue my writtings so bad). What you say depends on how you feel - for now id keep it short - till you get back and can actually talk to her. Tell her that what she told you hurt and you were mad, but you want to talk. Maybe write a list, girls like lists, i dunno '10 reasons why you shouldnt be ignoring my texts' you know talk about funny stuff oyu have in common, good times you've had - stuff that'll make her smile - stuff that'll make her text you! for the record im saying this cause this is what you asked me, if you were after my personal opinion id be considering if i could trust her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Jbum5 Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Easy said, easy done: be proud of yourself and know that you have other options. What would you prefer? A partner who's with you because she was kept under your thumb or a partner who you have given freedom to yet chooses to be with you despite the surrounding temptations? In your case, you gave the freedom and she didn't choose you. Don't be a lovesick fool, let it go and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 You titled this "my girlfriend is flirtatious" but she isn't your girlfriend anymore. Why would you want to be with someone who treats you so disrespectfully again? She kept your relationship hidden from the very beginning. That should have been your first clue that she wasn't happy with having a relationship with you. Don't text her. She doesn't feel the same way that you do. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Aerrie Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 She is only 21, wants to explore and get ****ed by plenty of guys. Could even be scared settling down with a 25 year old. Also, your long times away are also not ideal for such a young girl. She wants all the attention. Forget her and date an older one next time. I am almost 25 myself and I cannot imagine going through the drama with such young girls again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Then about 1 more week after that, she came home from a party and she suddenly text me saying that she met a guy named W (a guy who she used to flirt with) and said she has no idea why she is sad and she miss him. My heart was broken into pieces and I ask her if she wants to break up and she says no. Later on, I told her that I want to break up and also give her sometime to think about it. She never reply or text me or whatsoever. That's because as soon as she saw the break up text, she couldn't respond while driving to find this W guy. Guarantee you she's hooked up with this dude already. Your break up text gave her permission to hook up with this dude and not feel guilty about it. Because, lets face it. You're no longer together! But, it should tell you something if this, in fact, is what happened. She never mourned the loss of you or your relationship. So, that should give you and idea of where you stood in the relationship. She was never truely invested in you. Don't contact her. You tried and she ignored you. Therefore, she's not interested. So, you should return the favor in kind. Link to post Share on other sites
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