Planning to make the big jump.

[Carenth]

So I don't know if anyone remembers me but I haven't posted in some time.

 

For those that don't know my story. I met my girlfriend on a forum in a few years ago, we became friends sort of long distance pen pals then that grew into something more. We met for the first time in person last year in November when I flew around the world to stay with her for a few weeks (I live in Australia, she lives in Canada). We are both in our mid twenties.

 

Anyway things are still going strong though there have been other personal issues in recent months has been a bit of a roller coaster. Got promoted to a better paying job, which is great but it was big step up and was very exhausting until I got settled down. A friend of mine died suddenly under tragic circumstances which I would rather not discuss on an open board.

 

Anyway all things considering I think things are going pretty well. We are planning our next trip as we both have enough time coming up to get away from work for a bit and she will be coming out to visit me.

 

I have applied for a working Visa and I'm planning to move over there sometime towards the end of the year.

 

So I was wondering has anyone else here made the big jump to close the distance in a LDR? especially if you live in other countries. Looking for advice for things to prepare for that I might not have thought about.

 

I have been saving most of my money for the last 6 months as I have no real idea how long it will take me to get work over there. However my skills are quite transferable so I'm hoping not too long but you never know.

[umirano]

I remember you. Good posts.

 

I congratulate you guys for closing the distance. You sound like you have a decent idea of how it all should go down.

 

Maybe you want to inform yourself about the details of your particular job market. Maybe contact headhunters or sign up in social networks like linkedin to enhance your prospects in the Canadian job market. Other than that you shouldn't have too hard a time integrating in Canada.

 

All the best, keep us posted!

[CherryT]

Congrats on the big jump! We haven't gotten there yet but are planning to be.

 

What part of Canada will you be moving to? Perhaps letting us know what region, we may be able to help more.

[HeavenOrHell]

Good to hear from you Carenth and good to hear thing are working out, sorry about your friend though.

[Carenth]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

Most likely I will be moving to Edmonton or Calgary not 100% sure yet, depends on a few factors. I have a few contacts in Canada they say things are ok in the market at the moment but I know how subjective these things can be.

 

I work in IT specifically BA and ERP integration/application support. Though I have worked in several roles ranging from the bottom at help desk, sys admin and I'm currently employed as a IT manager for a medium sized company here in Aus.

 

I'm pretty flexible, so I'm hoping I can pick something up on the other side. If worst comes to worst I can always come back to Aus though I'm hoping that doesn't happen. That is a worst case scenario after all.

[pettie]

I remember you too. Congratulations on the big decision!

 

Sorry about your friend.

[Carenth]

Well that was quick, I applied for my visa less than 10 days ago. Just got my acceptance letter.

 

Here I was thinking it would take months, well from the estimated times I was told the average processing time was around 2 months.

I still have a lot of planning and research to do I guess. Like what to do with my stuff? opening a bank account over their before I arrive? Insurance etc etc. I don't own property so at least I don't have to worry about that.

 

This is probably the riskiest thing I've ever done in my life and I'm not much of a risk taker tbh. I figure I'm still relatively young if things go sour I can always learn from it and have some good memories. Yeah it's sad about my friend but that's part of life I guess. Miss them dearly but can't change that they are gone.

[CherryT]

Well that was quick, I applied for my visa less than 10 days ago. Just got my acceptance letter.

 

Here I was thinking it would take months, well from the estimated times I was told the average processing time was around 2 months.

I still have a lot of planning and research to do I guess. Like what to do with my stuff? opening a bank account over their before I arrive? Insurance etc etc. I don't own property so at least I don't have to worry about that.

 

This is probably the riskiest thing I've ever done in my life and I'm not much of a risk taker tbh. I figure I'm still relatively young if things go sour I can always learn from it and have some good memories. Yeah it's sad about my friend but that's part of life I guess. Miss them dearly but can't change that they are gone.

 

Wow!! Congratulations.

 

I would suggest going to Calgary over Edmonton. There's a lot more work opportunities in Calgary. You could work for an oil and gas company in the IT function and I'm sure you won't have trouble finding work. Perhaps start connecting with some recruiters for temp work to start off? That way you're able to work right away. Then when you start getting to know different companies, look into something more long term.

 

You know, if you both are truly in love, this could also be the greatest thing you'll ever do in your life. My bf and I talk about how it's almost a miracle how we met. The events leading up to our paths crossing... if things didn't happen the way they did that way, our paths would've NEVER intertwined ever again. It's risky to move half way around the world, but if your love lasts, it's something greater than most will ever experience.

[Million.to.1]

Hi Carenth..

 

I remember you also.. so good to hear you've made this decision.

 

My boyfriend made the move from Canada to New Zealand and has been here for the last 4 months. We are settling into a wonderful groove now and it's been pretty easy and blissful but there were issues which came up with the massive life changes both of us were experiencing. But that will differ for everyone depending on your situation and how you deal with change and each other.

 

It's a very brave move on your part and a huge declaration of your feelings and faith in her. I hope she knows how lucky she is.

 

I got so much good advice here on LS, other posters bought up all sorts of potential issues surrounding such a big move/ visa stuff, him not knowing anyone, there is a whole heap of things that you need to have thought through, have a plan b or a strategy to help you cope.

 

Maybe have a flick through my old threads.. Or PM me if you have any specific questions.

 

 

I think my boy has done AMAZINGLY with the move. He came here knowing only me and 1 other person, and has changed his routine, job, sleeping patterns, new climate, new everything....made new friends, joined a band, and is focusing on the positives even though he misses his friends and family and the luxury of knowing people and having that support network we take for granted.

 

We've planned a trip to Canada for 3 weeks in 3 months time for a couple of weddings and so i can meet all his friends and family. I'm really excited.

 

 

We have to focus on building what we need to apply for the next stage after his Working holiday visa expires after 1 year. Partnership sponsored visa. There's a whole lot of bureaucratic crap we have to have in order to even apply, which we knew about before he made his decision to come.

What visa are you going on and what is your plan if things work out and you want to stay on with your GF? How long does it give you?

Knowing the in's and outs of this and discussing it with your Gf is really important. You both need to be on the same page as far as how it will need to work, in order to work.

Anyway.. more about all that if you need it.

 

Wow.. so exciting!! what an adventure!

[Carenth]

I'm going on a open working holiday visa which is valid for 2 years. Which will start the day I land in Canada, I have until this time next year to enter Canada to start my working visa. Though I won't be waiting that long as I said earlier current plan is to go towards the end of the year.

 

Later on down the track we have a few options. I can reapply for another working holiday visa can be extended to a max of 4 years.

 

Depending if I can find similar work to what I'm doing now. There is a good chance I could apply for a skilled workers permanent residency after 12 months. We could also apply for a common-law partnership PR after living together for 12 months as well.So we have a few options for the future.

 

I know a couple of people in Canada. I have also met a good chunk of my girlfriends friends when I visited. Missing my family and friends is something I worry about but we will see how that goes.

 

What part of Canada are you visiting? I remember landing in Edmonton last November it was -20c and snowing. On paper that terrified me but it was actually a lot of fun and the first time I had ever seen snow.

[Million.to.1]

We are flying into Calgary, but pretty much heading straight through Banff into the national park/ mountain areas for a wedding and visit his brother who live in the mountains somewhere... Then to fly from calgary to Toronto for another wedding, hang out, party, a couple of music gigs, etc... then drive a couple of hours to the lake for a few days to visit his Parents.

 

[Carenth]

I visited Banff whilst I was there very touristy in some areas but beautiful none the less, the national parks in that area are pretty amazing. I really liked seeing lake Louise when it was frozen over.

 

What sort of issues did you guys have with the move if I may ask?

I feel like I'm walking into this partially ignorant as I'm not sure really what to expect. Other than it will be a lot of work to get setup over there but hopefully it will be worth it for the girl I love.

[Million.to.1]

Well, like i said, it's been pretty good really. We sort problems/misunderstandings out pretty quickly and there hasn't been anything major.

 

The main thing would be simply the adjustment of him not knowing anyone and us spending so much time together all of a sudden. When we did need some time out (not because of a fight, just cause you do) It was easy for me, i could go visit friends, or had stuff i liked to do, places to relax etc... he had his bike, and could go for a ride, but didn't have social events or things on with other people except me for the first few weeks at least. Especially hard when he was missing friends/family or this happening at home.. someones birthday etc.

You need to have an activity (like cycling, or kung-fu class, whatever) You should organise this as soon as you arrive and make it a regular thing. Your thing. The thing that you do, all the time, just for you. My boy says he would of gone crazy already if he hadn't bought his bike. He mentions often what a good move it was paying the extra baggage to bring it with him here.

 

We moved in together as soon as he got here too... so the usual co-habitation adjustments. Again though, nothing major.

 

Like i said... it's going to depend on how the 2 of you deal with issues together. That's going to be the test. It's different when you are face to face with someone 24/7 that was only pixels and txts for so long. The key is communication, being honest and managing expectations.

It's weird little things. One thing that we have found is that i found it hard to listen to him "complain" about NZ. ....things are too expensive, Not enough this or that or bla bla bla... I take it personally and get really defensive about my home. It's silly really, but kept happening... so we decided that it's just easier for him to rant about the price of beer to his friends back home via whatsapp get the "omg really?!!?" that he wants, than to get into a economic discussion with me and us both feeling frustrated.

 

There were plenty of negative nancy's on my threads saying "don't! your crazy!" - but really, It's been amazing and well worth all the little hick-ups and adjustments.

...still, it's early days.

[Mei Mei]

My congratulation too.:love:

I have had a wedding ceremony with my Irish in Nov last year. We have now been 4.5 years and we still stay long distance until he has retired in a few years time.

[Carenth]

So a bit of an update. Basically since getting my visa a few weeks ago I don't know what has really happened but I'm missing my girlfriend a lot more than usual. I'm thinking it might be the fact that I have not a whole lot holding me back from going other than tying up some loose ends and saving a bit more money.

 

I was planning on going towards the end of the year maybe around Nov-Dec but now I'm feeling like I want to go sooner than that.

 

Also if she comes over from a trip here while I have my current job I know it's going to be somewhat difficult. I'm in a business critical role and even when I'm on holidays work still calls me because they rely on me to make sure stuff is running correctly I'm pretty much on call all the time.

 

So I know I wouldn't be able to stray to far away from home in case something happens. I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

[justwhoiam]

Wait until November. You're waiting for a good cause. Some more sacrifice, and you'll be with her!

[Carenth]

We will see what happens as I plot things now, I should be able to settle everything I need to in the next couple of months. If that goes to plan then there is no real reason to hang out to November? Unless I like torturing myself?

[Els]

Slightly different circumstances from yours, but I moved to be with the bf a few years ago. One of the best decisions I've ever made.

 

The thing with being young and not having many obligations to tie you down (a job you really cannot afford to lose, property, or a terminally ill parent, etc), is that it's one of the best times to travel. See a different place. Experience a different culture and environment.

 

If you move to be with your gf, yes, you are moving for her... but it can be partly for you, too. You could see it as an exciting opportunity to live in another country for a while.

 

It's slightly worrisome that you are going to burn through your savings if you can't get a job though. Can't you live with her rent-free for that period? It's the least she can do IMO, to help you get on your feet.

 

Also if she comes over from a trip here while I have my current job I know it's going to be somewhat difficult. I'm in a business critical role and even when I'm on holidays work still calls me because they rely on me to make sure stuff is running correctly I'm pretty much on call all the time.

 

So I know I wouldn't be able to stray to far away from home in case something happens. I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

 

You can do loads of fun stuff at home! And if you live near some places of interest or even hangout spots (cafe, etc), that'd be a bonus.

 

During one of my bf's visits a few years back, we were stuck in my place for over a week. Still have plenty of good memories from that! :laugh:

[Carenth]

Well that's the thing I'm still relatively young, I don't have a lot of commitments. The only thing that worries me really is getting another job over there. That is why I'm putting aside money, just in case for whatever reason I at least have something to fall back on.

 

I would rather go prepared than not. I will be living with her so I don't think living expenses will be very high though I have no intention of mooching off her.

I don't know the main things I have to figure out is an exit strategy for my current job. I want to do the right thing by my employers, they honestly have treated me very well. I want to give them some time to find someone else if I just give them two weeks notice they will be royally screwed.

 

I would rather not burn bridges here as there is a good chance I will be back here one day. Then the only other thing is my car, which I've decided I will leave with my parents and then if things go well over in Canada I will get them to sell it and send me the money, already talked to them about this.

 

Pretty much have everything else sorted at this point. Not really sure if I need to wait until November at this point the more I think about it.

Edited June 12, 2013 by Carenth

[TMichaels]

Well that's the thing I'm still relatively young, I don't have a lot of commitments. The only thing that worries me really is getting another job over there. That is why I'm putting aside money, just in case for whatever reason I at least have something to fall back on.

 

That's the reason why you'd be wise to stay where you are and sock away as much as you can. The job market in Canada by and large is better than in the States, but depending on your skill set and where you're looking, it may take a while.

 

BTW, have you checked into whether you will need a work permit?

 

I would rather go prepared than not. I will be living with her so I don't think living expenses will be very high though I have no intention of mooching off her.

 

Good plan.

 

I don't know the main things I have to figure out is an exit strategy for my current job. I want to do the right thing by my employers, they honestly have treated me very well. I want to give them some time to find someone else if I just give them two weeks notice they will be royally screwed.

 

Are you paid by the hour or are you on salary? If it's the former, then two week's notice is usually the norm. If you're salaried, then one month's notice is more like it.

 

However, are you working on a specific project that will not be concluded by the time you'd like to leave your current job? If so, your employer needs to know you'll be leaving so they can make other plans to cover for you.

 

I would rather not burn bridges here as there is a good chance I will be back here one day.

 

Again, smart move.

 

Then the only other thing is my car, which I've decided I will leave with my parents and then if things go well over in Canada I will get them to sell it and send me the money, already talked to them about this.

 

That's fine, but don't be hasty. If having them keep it in storage for you causes no hardship, then I'd put that decision on the back burner until such time you're sure you have no plan to come back.

 

Pretty much have everything else sorted at this point. Not really sure if I need to wait until November at this point the more I think about it.

 

Yes, but there's nothing worse than worrying about money. If I were you, I'd hang in there as long as possible so I'd have the most money available to fund my "new life."

 

Also, is there anyone at your workplace that you could (confidentially) consult about the usual and accepted "protocol" for terminating? Or, have their been others at your place of employment in similar jobs who have left voluntarily? If so, how much notice did they give?

 

Even better, has anyone left and been re-hired? How did they handle their resignation? Might give you some sense of what's acceptable and/or expected. Just a thought...

 

HTH,

TMichaels

[todreaminblue]

i was in a long distance relationship on and off for years....he worked away from home.....when we got together it was intense.....high emotions from both sides...very sexual relationship....but.....when i took the plunge and uprooted myself my kids and his kids too...moved away from support and family.... moved interstate to be with him........the relationship failed after a couple of years......i think you have to be truly sure of mutual ideals and life goals where you want the relationship to head before you move to be with someone...it should not feel impulsive on any level...there should be no doubt from either side..deb

[Carenth]

That's the reason why you'd be wise to stay where you are and sock away as much as you can. The job market in Canada by and large is better than in the States, but depending on your skill set and where you're looking, it may take a while.

 

That is my main concern whilst I have a professional network, here over there I feel a little blind. I have a few people I know but it leaves me feeling a little uneasy and why I want to save just in case.

 

BTW, have you checked into whether you will need a work permit?

 

Yup work permit is required, got mine approved last month I have until then next year to claim it and then it is valid for two years after that.

 

 

Are you paid by the hour or are you on salary? If it's the former, then two week's notice is usually the norm. If you're salaried, then one month's notice is more like it.

 

However, are you working on a specific project that will not be concluded by the time you'd like to leave your current job? If so, your employer needs to know you'll be leaving so they can make other plans to cover for you.

 

Salary position, my contract states 2 weeks notice however I know that will not be enough time at all for them to replace me.

 

I have a few projects goings which should wrap up in the coming months.

 

That's fine, but don't be hasty. If having them keep it in storage for you causes no hardship, then I'd put that decision on the back burner until such time you're sure you have no plan to come back.

 

It won't be an issue to leave it with them.

 

Yes, but there's nothing worse than worrying about money. If I were you, I'd hang in there as long as possible so I'd have the most money available to fund my "new life."

 

Pretty much what I'm focusing on the moment. I'm just not sure how much will be enough. Considering the city I live in here is one of the highest cost cities in the world I'm wondering if I'm thinking I will need more than I actually need. However it can never hurt to have more money than not enough.

 

Also, is there anyone at your workplace that you could (confidentially) consult about the usual and accepted "protocol" for terminating? Or, have their been others at your place of employment in similar jobs who have left voluntarily? If so, how much notice did they give?

 

Even better, has anyone left and been re-hired? How did they handle their resignation? Might give you some sense of what's acceptable and/or expected. Just a thought...

 

HTH,

TMichaels

 

Sadly not really the company I work for is a bit of an oddity. Industry leader, 100% family owned, lots of money coming in. The directors consider staff family in a lot of ways, I work with them quite closely. If I even hint at the idea of resignation they will freak out.

 

Not anyone I particularly trust at the company to talk about this as we have the typical office gossips and I wouldn't want anyone catching wind I'm planning to leave until I'm ready to make that announcement myself (which I'm not ready atm).

 

Yup my former boss left at the end of last year. I was promoted to his position because I had been working so close with him and was really the only person suitable for the position. (We have a lot of customised systems here which would of required me to train someone to fill my former bosses position which doesn't make a whole lot of sense).

 

He had been here for 7 years and left with very short notice in the middle of a big project. Needless to say the directors were less than impressed and do not think very well of him now.

 

In the aftermath of that whilst picking up the pieces I found some serious oversights from my predecessor and have spent a lot of my time over the last 6 months correcting these issues.

 

Problem is now what was two positions I have managed to condense into one so basically if I go... they have no one to turn to (other than my former boss and they will never work together again).

 

I have tried to sort of raise this with them in a very subtle way I should have someone on board I can mentor in case of something happening to me.. but they don't seem very concerned about that.

 

They are in a bit of money saving mode as the economy is very sluggish here atm so they don't really want to put someone on as a backup for me.

 

They assume I'm here for the long haul like my previous boss. Whilst this job does give me a lot of exposure to different things, it is not somewhere I plan to be for the next several years regardless if I was planning to move overseas or not.

 

Thought I should mention, yes people have been rehired at the company before quite common actually. However generally not for the higher end positions.

Edited June 13, 2013 by Carenth

[TMichaels]

That is my main concern whilst I have a professional network, here over there I feel a little blind. I have a few people I know but it leaves me feeling a little uneasy and why I want to save just in case.

 

Does your company have any offices in Canada? Are you on LinkedIn? Do you belong to any professional associations? Have you thought of making contacts, getting your CV in circulation via those methods before the move?

 

Yup work permit is required, got mine approved last month I have until then next year to claim it and then it is valid for two years after that.

 

Good. That's an important hurdle to get out of your way.

 

Salary position, my contract states 2 weeks notice however I know that will not be enough time at all for them to replace me.

 

They'll never find *another you*, but everyone is replaceable.

 

I have a few projects goings which should wrap up in the coming months. It won't be an issue to leave it with them.

 

Okay, but I'd still try and make sure you're not leaving at a crucial time during any one of them and do whatever you can to make sure others on your team are well-trained/-immersed in whatever it is.

 

Pretty much what I'm focusing on the moment. I'm just not sure how much will be enough. Considering the city I live in here is one of the highest cost cities in the world I'm wondering if I'm thinking I will need more than I actually need. However it can never hurt to have more money than not enough.

 

This or another one like it may be helpful in determining "how much is enough."

 

Sadly not really the company I work for is a bit of an oddity. Industry leader, 100% family owned, lots of money coming in. The directors consider staff family in a lot of ways, I work with them quite closely. If I even hint at the idea of resignation they will freak out.

 

Gotcha. Been there, done that.

 

Not anyone I particularly trust at the company to talk about this as we have the typical office gossips and I wouldn't want anyone catching wind I'm planning to leave until I'm ready to make that announcement myself (which I'm not ready atm).

 

Given that, best bet is to keep schtum.

 

Yup my former boss left at the end of last year... He had been here for 7 years and left with very short notice in the middle of a big project. Needless to say the directors were less than impressed and do not think very well of him now.

 

Understandable. At least you have the benefit of knowing what *not* to do.

 

In the aftermath of that whilst picking up the pieces I found some serious oversights from my predecessor and have spent a lot of my time over the last 6 months correcting these issues.

 

Problem is now what was two positions I have managed to condense into one so basically if I go... they have no one to turn to (other than my former boss and they will never work together again).

 

Any chance you could work "remotely?" It would be a win-win for you and them if you could.

 

I have tried to sort of raise this with them in a very subtle way I should have someone on board I can mentor in case of something happening to me.. but they don't seem very concerned about that.

 

No, because they see no need to. For all intents and purposes they figure why should they? You're handling the job well, and after all, not likley to be going anywhere.

 

They are in a bit of money saving mode as the economy is very sluggish here atm so they don't really want to put someone on as a backup for me.

 

They assume I'm here for the long haul like my previous boss. Whilst this job does give me a lot of exposure to different things, it is not somewhere I plan to be for the next several years regardless if I was planning to move overseas or not.

 

Don't underestimate the bolded portion above. A lot of people would need to hop from job to job to get that sort of experience and perspective. It makes you more valuable, not less.

 

Thought I should mention, yes people have been rehired at the company before quite common actually. However generally not for the higher end positions.

 

Probably because most companies value loyalty especially at the executive end of the scale.

 

All that aside, based on what you've said, I think I'd give some thought to floating the idea with them about whether they would consider you working remotely.

 

Technology what it is these days, there's very little that can't be done from anywhere just as effectively as in-person/on-site. You never know. If they value you that highly, they very well may be willing to give it a go rather than lose you and have to start over from scratch which would certainly solve your dilemma quite nicely.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Carenth]

Not something I really had considered, since our company has no presence in Canada. Could be a possibility, however the role I'm in often requires me to respond to time critical issues.

 

So with the massive time difference between Canada and Australia this could be a bit of an issue however it could be resolved if I'm willing to change my working hours maybe.

 

I do a lot of work remotely now anyway, manage interstate offices and New Zealands office. Just I'm situated at the head office of the company. I don't know if it's a old school business thing but the directors like to keep the important people close by but I might be able to pitch that to them.. thanks for the idea.

 

If that works out it could solve a lot of headaches for me.