Should I be thinking about myself?

[d0620]

I have decided to officially go NC? I do have a few questions and I don't mind the frankness.

 

He is in the hospital and has been for 4 days now. I spent time with him for two full days and for a couple hours on Monday since then he has requested that I not come back to the hospital unless I call first. He called me Tuesday morning and stated he would call me later on what time to come up there and he never called for the rest of the day. I didn't call to follow up because if he wanted me there he would call. After 10 months of dating, he hasn't committed to me, and he keeps it this way so he could do whatever he wants and not feel guilty. I know its wrong, and I've stayed anyway. I have attempted NC at least 2 other times, however he called me everyday and I just give in because I love him. The longest in a year was 30 days and he broke it by contacting me. Usually during NC, I tell him I am moving on and he calls me anyway. I block him and he calls me from another number.

 

I assume that the reason he doesn't want me up there is because he knows that other women will be coming up there to see him and he doesnt want me there. Now for my questions.

 

1. Is it fair to go NC while he is in the hospital?

2. Is it unreasonable for him to expect SOME privacy during this time for him to spend time with family and friends without me there?

3. Should I be thinking about my own feelings while he is in the hospital with broken ribs and he lost a car in the accident? I am sure he must be going through a lot of grief right now.

4. He has always been a loner type of guy at tough times, so I really don't know if the females are the reason he doesn't want me up there or is it really to get some rest and be alone.

[ShannAT]

I know you love him, but at the end of the day, you have to realize what you deserve. If you keep breaking NC over and over, you'll never move on to someone who will commit and put you first. Don't settle, because you're not getting the type of relationship you want and deserve, and he's out there doing what he wants. He's probably content with having you always there for him, and he doesn't have to commit to you. That's just my personal advice, you even admit you know what he does is wrong. Put the ball in your court.

 

In my opinion, overall, it's time for you to put you first. Do what you have to do. You did go to the hospital, you showed you cared, and now he wants alone time. It is what it is when it comes to that. You seem like someone that loves him deeply, and definitely puts him first. That's just my vibe because I don't know you, but in my opinion, there are times when being selfish is the right thing to do. I think you should let him be and when he gets out of the hospital, just tell him how it's going to be from now on. You deserve what you want!