Author youngnlove89 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 I think people who are at a different stage in their breakup or aren't heartbroken at all forget that words can hurt. It isn't nice. We all need comfort right now. Not to be cruel and say your ex is sleeping with someone else or your ex was a jerk and you were a fool to think they loved you. All of these horrible things people say on here are so heartless sometimes. You should never ignore someone's pain or act as if it doesn't matter. For no matter how small their worry is to you and how simple to solve it may seem, to them, it is a disaster. And we all want someone to calm the storm, not to tell us it doesn't exist. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HopelessRomantick Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I'm 10 months and counting and although up until last week I was feeling better, I am pretty much back to troubled times. So there is no set time frame for all. It's different for everyone. I am very thankful for this site. I don't post much because I'm afraid of babbling but I come here to read other posts and advice and it ABSOLUTELY DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. And replying to posts helps me a great deal. Misery "does" Love Company. Hang in there my friends. Shhhhh! Listen, listen, be quiet... what's that? Oh, it's karma. It's karma coming for them like the grim reaper..... Boooowaaaaahaaaaa!!!! and in my case the motherf__cker who thought it was ok to steal my girl. I know she went willing but he didn't have to antagonize. And here's a twist.... I hope she leaves him and breaks his heart for another like she broke mine for him. Then I hope she gets dumped and thinks back years from now that she made a mistake, a big mistake for hurting the one and only man [...that would be me] who understood unconditional love and loved her in that way. And then and only then will I have taken back the power. Because really, being powerless is a major part of being the dumpee and the pain we are enduring. Think about it, if each and everyone one of us had the ability to go back in time just say a day before we got dumped and dumped them, we'd be over it by now. Power is a big part of it. Be well my friends. Tomorrow is another day! My name is HopelessRomantick and I approve this message. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpio1978 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I'm 10 months and counting and although up until last week I was feeling better, I am pretty much back to troubled times. So there is no set time frame for all. It's different for everyone. I am very thankful for this site. I don't post much because I'm afraid of babbling but I come here to read other posts and advice and it ABSOLUTELY DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. And replying to posts helps me a great deal. Misery "does" Love Company. Hang in there my friends. Shhhhh! Listen, listen, be quiet... what's that? Oh, it's karma. It's karma coming for them like the grim reaper..... Boooowaaaaahaaaaa!!!! and in my case the motherf__cker who thought it was ok to steal my girl. I know she went willing but he didn't have to antagonize. And here's a twist.... I hope she leaves him and breaks his heart for another like she broke mine for him. Then I hope she gets dumped and thinks back years from now that she made a mistake, a big mistake for hurting the one and only man [...that would be me] who understood unconditional love and loved her in that way. And then and only then will I have taken back the power. Because really, being powerless is a major part of being the dumpee and the pain we are enduring. Think about it, if each and everyone one of us had the ability to go back in time just say a day before we got dumped and dumped them, we'd be over it by now. Power is a big part of it. Be well my friends. Tomorrow is another day! My name is HopelessRomantick and I approve this message. I am sorry rough times are still there for you. I think with my ex who dumped me the day before he left for Afghanistan and never spoke to me again after a year and a half is way more painful than anything I have ever had to endure. Imagine not knowing the danger he is in, the things he was thinking and feeling, etc. He came back and married a beautiful girl and they have a little daughter right now. After all of my hurt, I felt the same way you do. I wished for bad things to come his way (though not while overseas) and I wished he would see the error in his ways and see that I was nothing but amazing to him. He never did and he has moved on in more ways than I ever could. But, our time will come where we will be happy too. It just never comes as fast as we need or want it to. That break-up cost me over 2 years of my life where I felt God awful and never met anyone who ever came close to giving me the butterflies in my stomach. Eventually, I would say I got "over" it in that I could see things that reminded me of him without feeling like I was punched in the face, but you're right, there is not set time. I wish there was just so I had something to look forward to like I could say "In 2 months, you will feel amazing and better than ever". It would be so much easier to face the day. I have good days and bad with my most recent situation, but I can only keep hoping that better days are to come. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HopelessRomantick Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Well Scorpio I do believe, like you said, better days are to come. I was trying to be lighthearted with my post and should have said tha most of the time I do wish her well. I really don't want to do anything to cause her pain or discomfort. I guess I'm a fool that way. But that's me. Nice guys [& gals] finish last.... Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Ill share one more experience I had. When I was in my 20s I had a relationship with a very intelligent, beautiful and popular women. Being popular myself made things worse. long history short, we broke up for a stupid misunderstanding and I was too proud to say "I am sorry I am wrong" so >I wasted 3 years of my life hoping we would comeback, I dated tons of women just to show her I was a catch, I was a devil with those women. I hurt a lot of people but most of all I HURT MYSELF. thinking we would come back, she would crawl to me and beg me ...that she would (insert any fantasy here) and be with me... it took me 3 years to realize I was hurting myself and I had to live my life and not a fantasy where she and Me existed. This time as I am more mature, I did not "TUNE IN" the hurt in the hope and fantasies, because THEY DONT EXIST. Our Hopes and expectations dont let us live and see what might be in store for us because we need/want/crave something or someone so badly. My advice STOP TUNE In your loss, your sadness, the hopes and the possibilities. LETING GO IS EXACTLY THIS the day where you think of somebody you loved with every cell in your body and you just breathe and move on, no hard feelings, no sadness, no drama, and no hopes for the future So what you need to do is MOVE ON, think about YOUR NEEDS not your other person needs you have. Think of all the people around you and do different stuff, yesterday for example I enrolled in a 5 day crash course of Yoga and Breathing , I met new people and it was great. The only way to get out of a hole is to crawl your way out... Be Strong MOVE ON! Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Liked the initial post, except the last part. With my now ex there will be no indifferent handshake. She cheated and got pregnant behind my back - there will be No Contact- Nothing - Nada - Zip - Zero - Zilch. Should I see her again, she will be ignored - she is someone I used to know who I have no respect for any more. She is nothing, a non-person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 I'd like to *bump* this. Rereading this help me realize what I need to focus on: moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I really enjoyed your post. I thought I was the only wacko who "looked" for her car or keep an eye out if she is around as I have this "feeling" that she may be close. I often go to Starbucks as I like to study there and the interesting thing is that when she initially dumped me I would frequent that Starbucks and not think twice about who walked in the door, now I look up thinking it might be her walking in. In reality I wish I never have to see her or even accidently bump into her again. Letting go is crucial my staring at the door at Starbucks still tells me that I'm stuck somewhere perhaps hoping, however, when I ask myself and dig deeper, being honest to no one but myself, I'm certain that I don't want her back because things are just so ruined at this point. I may have weak moments because just like any drug addicts I need a quick fix to ease the mind. I understand is better for me to not seek that "quick fix" because it will only bring back to a place of pain and agony. Move forward never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 flitzanu, while true in many cases, that's not all encompassing every relationship and that was an intentionally mean spirited thing to write. totally missed this reply, but no it wasn't intentionally mean spirited, it's entirely forward and honest. it's the reason our exes are leaving and did leave, was to bang other people, or usually the person they've already lined up to replace us. you think the same thing didn't happen to me? you think those thoughts didn't hurt me? of course they did, but that doesn't make it less true. Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 interesting i had 6 break up's last one was really bad for me happens i move on but something more interesting i guess... 4 ex of me did want me back after NC noting and all i did beg for them first and try'd to reason them but it didn't help... but still they came back? i guess's i'm exception so ... i say op you'r bf is a dick! and you are the one that don't understand that sometime there is EXCEPTION you just wasn't strong !!! you wuss! people are def rent you got hurt cos you chosen an idiot! and we need to realize sometime it's 3d party problem and so on! there is EXCEPTION but most of the time there are non we here to help and yes NC is the only way... but sometime they get back ^^ so hope is always there OP you just hopeless women that don't know how to be strong crying on a non committed man LOL so don't start coming here and say MY HEART GOT BROKEN yes it is cos you don't know how to chose RIGHT! my hurt never gonna cry for someone that cheated or abused me or NEEDY or clingy me my hurt only gonna cry when i know i did noting wrong and she did noting wrong but something happen'd! Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 interesting i had 6 break up's last one was really bad for me happens i move on but something more interesting i guess... 4 ex of me did want me back after NC noting and all i did beg for them first and try'd to reason them but it didn't help... but still they came back? i guess's i'm exception so ... i say op you'r bf is a dick! and you are the one that don't understand that sometime there is EXCEPTION you just wasn't strong !!! you wuss! people are def rent you got hurt cos you chosen an idiot! and we need to realize sometime it's 3d party problem and so on! there is EXCEPTION but most of the time there are non we here to help and yes NC is the only way... but sometime they get back ^^ so hope is always there OP you just hopeless women that don't know how to be strong crying on a non committed man LOL so don't start coming here and say MY HEART GOT BROKEN yes it is cos you don't know how to chose RIGHT! my hurt never gonna cry for someone that cheated or abused me or NEEDY or clingy me my hurt only gonna cry when i know i did noting wrong and she did noting wrong but something happen'd! My mind hurts from trying to understand what you just wrote. I need aspirin now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 my English grammar terrible i sad you are a week person and got you'r heart broken and that there are allot of time exception allot! some time's we need even to fight for the love.. some time's we need to NC and so on allot of exceptions and you come here and say! we all got heart broken cos bla bla bla and move on bla bla there is no exception bla bla from what i read you chose a non committed man and got heart broken, right? well you did the stupid thing you'r heart have been broken cos you don't know how to chose Wright you need to grow up ^^ ( you ain't a doctor) Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 my English grammar terrible i sad you are a week person and got you'r heart broken and that there are allot of time exception allot! some time's we need even to fight for the love.. some time's we need to NC and so on allot of exceptions and you come here and say! we all got heart broken cos bla bla bla and move on bla bla there is no exception bla bla from what i read you chose a non committed man and got heart broken, right? well you did the stupid thing you'r heart have been broken cos you don't know how to chose Wright you need to grow up ^^ ( you ain't a doctor) Good effing lord. Are you talking into a 1999 speech recognition device or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 i love when you argue on my grammar have noting els to say? i guess not cos i'm wright ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
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