I Cheated on soul mate

[brnintx]

I am a 24 year old student pilot. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 years, but it has all been long distance. All I can say about her are great things and I know she is the one, no doubt at all, and I want to share the rest of my life her. We had some issues dealing with the distance and were starting to talk about moving in together once I get my next assignment, but she had a lot of apprehension thinking about leaving her job and family as a nurse in Denver to live with me (understandable).

 

However, things in our relationship were almost perfect (other than the distance) and her apprehension to leaving her home were diminishing. We obviously still had a lot to deal with until I get my next assignment in 6 months, but things were just great.

 

Being around pilots all the time is fun and I could never see myself doing anything else, but the community has a lot of drinking and a lot of cheaters and it rubbed off on me. Last weekend I went out with a bunch of my flying buddies and like always they were going around hitting on every girl they saw. I always just hang out with the dating/married guys and don't partake in the girl hunt they all do because I love and respect my girlfriend.

 

However, this night a beautiful girl sought me out and started talking to me. Right from the beginning I told her I had a girlfriend, but she still wanted to just talk (at least I thought). I left pretty quick, but I did give her my number (which was my first mistake).

 

Way later on in the night she called and asked if her and her friends could come hang out with all of us. I said yea mainly because all my friends were begging me to invite them over. Well little did I know, the girl got in a fight with her friends and decided to drive drunk to get to our hotel 20 minutes away.

 

The next call I got was from her crying because she crashed her car (go figure), but she did it off of the main roads and didn't know what to do and asked if I could get her. This was my second mistake, but I am helping person and always have been, no matter the person. I couldn't drive at the time so got a cab to go meet her and after I got there she had parked the car but had no where to go.

 

I felt bad so brought her back to mine and my friends hotel room where I tried to go to sleep, but she got in bed with me. I allowed it to happen and figured we'd just go to sleep. No, she started trying to make out with and other things and I stopped it. However, she wanted to get a shower and asked for me to help her because she was drunk, a mess and had glass all over her from the accident. Thats where I made the worst mistake of my life and joined her in the shower after she got naked and was all over me. We didn't have sex, but basically everything else.

 

I went to bed feeling incredibly ashamed and had to help her back to her car the next morning. After I dropped her off I had to tell my girlfriend so I told her, I couldn't live with myself if I lied about it or never told her (she deserves better than that). Needless to say my relationship ended right there as I broke her trust and heart and in a distance relationship like ours that is huge.

 

I made the biggest mistake of my life and know it. I couldn't describe in words how truly sorry I was, ashamed, and disappointed in myself. Now I do not know what to do. She wants space, but I am in a constant battle to try not text or call her. I want this girl back she is truly my soul mate, but I don't know if I deserve her. What do you guys think I should do? I am truly lost and empty right now.

[TaserTag]

You don't deserve the girl you cheated on and you should give her space, since that's what she asked for. Long distance is hard and you clearly can't handle it. This whole story is ridiculous. Being a helpful, friendly guy is one thing... taking up with a drunk wreck of a girl and 'helping' her into the shower is a whole 'nother thing. There were so many points in this story where you could have avoided cheating and done something easier/nicer to stop this from happening (had a cab pick her up and take her to *her* home, for example), and you didn't.

[noble]

I agree with the previous poster. For someone in a long distance relationship, you should have known better. You crossed the first line when you gave her your number, the second line when you invited her over to party, the third line when you picked her up and took her back to your hotel room, the fourth line when you allowed her to crawl into your bed with you, and the final straw when you basically had everything except for penetrative sex with her in the shower.

Obviously some part of you WANTED this to happen, or you would never have flirted with the danger and allowed it to go this far. You could, and should, have stopped it before anything happened. So why didn't you? Why did you want to do this and cheat on your girlfriend? This girl didn't hold a gun to your head, but it seems like you're allowing the blame to be placed on her because she was coming onto you. But you allowed her to come onto you and showed her you were interested when you let her come back to your hotel room.

How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Would you be able to forgive your girlfriend for a one-time hook-up with some random drunk guy in a shower?

I assume that she's probably heartbroken, especially since you guys are long distance which requires a huge degree of trust. Now that trust has been broken and you've thrown your relationship away.

I think the best thing to do is accept that she probably will not forgive you, but look into yourself and ask yourself why you let this happen and hope that you learn something from this experience that will help you in your next relationship.

[MrsMercury]

My boyfriend did the same thing to me, and we were in a long distance relationship too. Let me tell you now, whatever you feel is nothing compared to what she's feeling right now. Give her time, if she wants to make it work, she'll contact you. Worst thing you can do is harass her.