mr wonderful Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 I think I am paranoid. I am with a wonderful woman, but I am constantly looking for signs of her cheating. This comes from a couple of bad previous relationships. I know that I can not hold her responsible for what happened to me in the past. How do I deal with this? Any little thing will freak me out. I need some help, at least some advice. I thought someone here could help. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 You really have to believe it when you say that she will not cheat on you like other women have. Don't just say it believe it! It's not fair to her that you are even trying to deliberately find signs that she's cheating if you know that she's a good woman. She is not one of your exes. What they did has nothing to do with her or who she is. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatwoman Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 I agree he should not hold bad things from his past against his current "wonderful" girlfriend....... but im also here to say that is easier said then done I was cheated on by my first bf , i didnt have sex with him so he found someone who would, no big deal because it was puppy love anyways......but the big deal comes in because once you have been betrayed like that.....your always waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak ..... you wait for the bad thing to happen......im happily married..... and im paranoid, my husband is faithful, has never cheated, nor has he ever did anything to make me think he would........ but i still wait ........ my advice for you is....... you like me and many others seem to be jaded and hurt from past people.....so do what i do dont accuse your gf without cause, this will just hurt the relationship, just be vigilant ...... you do have the right to be informed........ its your health , your heart, and your feelings that will get hurt....... watch for signs of infidelity ......but dont take it overboard.......be informed but not paranoid to the point that you ruin the good thing you have....... if she knows your past, and loves you , she will understand and be patient with you ......... dont bury your head in the sand,but dont be obsessive Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 You know, communication really helps. Your lady friend really deserves to know all about this issue of yours. If you explain yourself honestly, and tell her about your past, and tell her that you are prone to being distrustful because of it, I promise you, if she's as great as you say she is, she will do everything in her power to reassure you. She'll take that paranoia and kill it with love. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr wonderful Posted October 4, 2004 Author Share Posted October 4, 2004 Thanks everyone, she does know about my past. I am closer to her than I have ever been with anyone. I have been completely honest with her from day one. It is hard to not obsessive. I am trying though. I feel silly with something that bother me. And she is great, she does everything she can. It is hard sometimes to believe that she is as wonderful as she is. I do worry about the other shoe dropping, but I am working my hardest to not let that effect the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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